To Love 'Ruto
by drakewilson
Summary: Naruto wished he could understand women. Between Risa's teasing, Yui's lecturing and his adopted mother's blatant disregard of the standards of a mother son relationship Naruto was struggling to stay sane. Now a pink haired alien has declared she will make him love her and her dad is very interested in the strange power that Naruto displays. Whats a guy to do?
1. Chapter 1: High School Antics

Naruto: To Love 'Ruto

A/N: This is the first chapter for the To Love 'Ruto Think Tank Story. As it was leading the poll on my profile I figured I would stick the first chapter up. This won't be updated for a bit. This is merely a taster to see what public opinion is. I am currently focusing on Naruto: Ninja Pirate (Next chapter is almost done).

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ru

_Chapter 1: High School Antics _

The first thing Naruto could smell was a faint strawberry scent. It filled his nose and dulled his senses, at least until his brain kick started. There was only one person he knew who used strawberry shampoo and would be found in his bed first thing in the morning and that was Kushina Uzumaki, his mother.

"Good morning mother," Naruto groaned as he rolled out of bed. His room was a sparsely decorated affair. He had a computer table with a relatively old desktop computer that he was continuously upgrading. Besides that he had a table in the centre of his room and a large TV with a variety of consoles around it. He glanced at his sleeping mother. She was drooling with a perverted grin and blush on her face. He sighed heavily and got out of bed to get dressed. Ever since the accident six years ago that had badly injured his father, his mother had been terrified of something similar happening to him. She had become far too clingy and if he was honest she must have taken a few levels in Pervert. Maybe supressing her desires for so long in order to live as a single mother had started to warp her personality.

Dressed in his school uniform Naruto glanced over as his mother started giggling in her sleep before sighing loudly and leaving his room. He grabbed a quick breakfast, making sure to have a breakfast prepared for his mother before leaving the house. He grabbed his school bag and left the house. No sooner had he stepped out of his house than he saw someone from his class.

"Good morning Sarenji-san," Naruto greeted the shy girl who seemed to jump in surprise.

"Ah, Uzumaki-san," The girl bowed her head. Even if she knew that Naruto was a kind person he still looked like a delinquent. His piercing blue eyes, tall and muscular stature as well as his bright blonde hair all made him stand out from the other students. That's before you took into account he tended to leave his school blazer open and never bothered to tidy up his shirt giving him more of a delinquent image. Despite this image, Naruto had proven to her time and again he was a good person and one she would call a friend. "Good morning, how is your mother today?"

"Same old," Naruto shrugged dismissively, "How's your pet dog?"

"Lively as ever," Sarenji smiled as Naruto fell into step with her as the two started to walk to school in relatively comfortable silence. Despite their friendship, Haruna Sarenji was still uncomfortable referring to Naruto by his given name and blushed to a ridiculous degree when Naruto called her by her given name so it was just easier to refer to each other by their family names. Naruto didn't really care. It was nice to have someone to talk to regardless.

"Look at those Idiots," Naruto sighed as he saw a group of teenagers spraying a panther logo onto the wall. "More of those gangster wannabes," Naruto shook his head then noticed the worried look on Haruna's face. "Don't worry, if they start something I'll deal with them."

"Please don't get into more trouble for my sake, Uzumaki-san."

"How many times must I tell you? You're my friend, I'll do what I have to protect you." Naruto glanced at her before sighing heavily and putting his hands into his pockets before his danger senses told him someone was going to bump into Haruna and he quickly put himself between her and her assailant.

"ARGH!" An orange haired boy wearing the same uniform crashed into Naruto who managed to stand his ground.

"Really? Is it possible for one guy to be so clumsy," Naruto sighed as he helped the boy to his feet.

"Ahaha…" The boy smiled weakly as he ran a hand through his hair, "I was in a hurry since I overslept. Guess I didn't tie my laces very well."

"Seriously," Naruto chuckled, "You must be cursed Yuuki."

Rito Yuuki merely laughed weakly in response. While he wouldn't call himself a friend of Naruto as they didn't really talk and he was scared of Naruto, he got along relatively well with the blonde. Although the knowing look Naruto gave him every time he tried to talk to Sarenji always unnerved him.

"Well," Naruto gave Rito the look, "I have something I have to take care off, I'm sure I can count on Yuuki here to take you to class."

"Ah well…" Rito floundered.

"You're not going to get into trouble are you?" Haruna asked.

"I don't deliberately go looking for trouble you know," Naruto threw his hands up in the air, "It always seems to find me." With a final wave Naruto sped up and walked towards the school leaving the two alone. He was aware the two had feelings for each other but neither had the confidence to confess. It was almost depressing listening to their awkward conversation. Even as he left Naruto could still hear them although that was due to his enhanced senses. Ever since he was young his eyesight seemed far better than most people and his ability to hear over long distances was unmatched. He had impressive physical strength and willpower which was enough to see off most people who wanted to cause trouble, even if his fighting style was little more than a brawler.

As he walked he closed his eyes and listened. As he walked he heard several people talking. The occasional 'Look at the blonde guy, he's kind of cute' but mostly rumours about how some new king of a criminal empire (wouldn't that make him an emperor Naruto thought idly) and how he had a harem of women at his beck and call. Naruto would never understand wanting a harem. The only women he was friendly with were Sarenji (his only friend) and his mother. All the others were more like antagonists than anything. Speaking of antagonists Naruto enhanced hearing allowed him to hear the sounds of a struggle down an alley. Swearing as his hero complex kicked in, Naruto felt compelled to investigate. He saw and old woman being man handled by three youths. The youths were all slightly taller than Naruto but that made no difference to the blonde haired protagonist.

"Hey what the hell are you doing?" Naruto growled.

"What? You looking for a fight?" The youths turned around. They were wearing jeans and hoodies with balaclavas hiding their face. They all had a panther logo on their backs "We'll gut you if you get in our way." One of the three pulled out a switchblade.

Naruto glanced at his watch, "I've got to time to deal with you lowlifes before school," He beckoned to the group. "Bring it."

"Die punk!" The knife wielding youth charged him with a simple lunge, which Naruto side stepped then simply tripped the youth causing him to trip and crash into a wall, sliding down in an undignified heap.

"Bro!" The other two yelled and charged Naruto simultaneously.

Naruto scowled as the two thugs lashed out at him, forcing him back. The slight range advantage of the thug's kicks was enough to keep Naruto at bay. Or at least it would if Naruto was the kind of person to let a few bruises put him off fighting.

"Man, the panthers must be pretty pathetic if that's all you can do," Naruto taunted.

"Oh yeah?" One of the thugs lunged at Naruto, who ducked under the punch and retaliated with a fierce upper cut, knocking the thugs head back and causing him spit out a few teeth as he was launched off his feet and landed spread-eagled next to his knife wielding comrade.

"Two down…" Naruto was interrupted by a fierce kick striking him in the ribs and knocking him other. He rolled across the floor and staggered to his feet. "Son of a bitch!"

"How do you like that huh?"

"Ouch," Naruto rubbed his ribs, "That actually hurt." He grinned ferociously and charged the thug who jumped back and launched a barrage of kicks, relying on their range to stop Naruto getting close enough to use his fists. "Who taught you to fight? Chun-Li?"

"You don't become the boss without skill," The youth grinned. "Tell you what, you've got a bit of skill yourself. Join us, The Panthers always have need of new blood. What say you?"

"Sorry," Naruto grinned, "But I don't follow people weaker than me."

"Bastard!" The Thug continued the barrage of kicks until Naruto grabbed his leg. "Oh…"

"Yeah," Naruto grinned. "That's the problem with being a one trick pony." Naruto pulled the leg causing the thug to stagger forward straight into Naruto's fist, which struck the thug across the face causing him to spin slightly as he fell to the ground. Naruto watched as the thug struggled to stand up again, "Had enough?"

"Wurple…" The boss gargled before his legs finally admitted defeat and he collapsed on the floor. While Naruto lacked any technical skill, when you had a fist as good as him skill became optional. At least when it came to dealing with the lowlifes that Naruto had to deal with.

"Tch," Naruto turned to the old woman only to find she had vanished. "What… no thank you?" He muttered rubbing his hands and looking at the three downed thugs. "They had a little more skill than the usual parasites but still nothing worth talking about…" Naruto muttered as he walked away from the scene. A small bleeping from his watch caused him to swear loudly. "And now I'm late for class."

* * *

><p>"And what are your excuses this time Uzumaki?!" Yui Kotegawa crossed her arms and glared at the blonde haired student.<p>

"I was saving an old lady from thugs," Naruto remarked as he crossed his arms. As punishment for being late he had to stand outside his class and after that punishment ended he had found himself being confronted by one of his primary antagonists on his way to the cafeteria. Seriously whenever he did something even slightly against the rules of the school, this girl hunted him down like an avenger and struck with the fury of the avatar of feminine rage.

"Likely story!" Yui snapped. "You are one of the main reasons for the drop in morality of this school! With your scruffy appearance and constantly getting into fights and your… your harem!"

"I think I must have misheard," Naruto deadpanned.

"I know all about your wicked and immoral ways!" Yui pointed her finger at Naruto. "Your behaviour is completely inappropriate for a student of Sainan High!"

"Actually if our principle is anything to go by then it is completely appropriate," Naruto remarked before shaking his head, "And I haven't done anything inappropriate!"

"I have a heard first-hand accounts from another of your… slaves!" Yui seemed to be getting more embarrassed as the conversation went on.

"Slaves?" Naruto scowled before he put two and two together and sighed heavily, "Let me guess… Risa Momioka told you this. I swear that girl has issues."

"I don't want to know what perverted things she enjoys that you do to her!" Yui's blush seemed to spread to her arms at this point.

"I haven't done anything!" Naruto proclaimed his innocence.

"I'm watching you!" Yui declared before spinning around and marching off.

"Man what a hassle," Naruto sighed, "Why did she seem more angry than usual…?" Naruto glanced at his watch and cursed. There was no chance of his favourite bread being in the store at this time. "Damn it." He moaned but continued to the cafeteria anyway.

"Ah Great Sage!" A cheerful voice called out, "Please honoured one. Tell me your secrets!"

"Great," Naruto groaned as he turned to the grinning monkey boy, Kenichi Saruyama and his best friend Rito. "Hey Yuuki." Naruto nodded to the orange haired boy.

"Hi there Uzumaki-san," Rito nodded back.

"Gah! Don't ignore me." Kenichi fell to his knees. "Tell me what powers allow you to have a harem of your own!"

"I don't have a harem," Naruto sighed. "You should know better than to listen to what Risa says."

"Did someone call my name?"

Naruto turned to see Haruna and her two friends Risa and Mio had arrive.

"Oh master, may this lowly slave serve you," Risa stuck her tongue out at Naruto.

"What did I ever do to antagonise you?" Naruto remarked.

"You don't know?" Risa pouted sadly. "You broke this pure maiden's heart. Using me as you did."

"I didn't use you at all!" Naruto frowned.

"I know! I feel so unloved," Risa fake cried. "All I want is a little hug." She made grabby motions with her hands.

"My Rape senses are tingling," Naruto backed away from the girl.

"All I want to do is make sweet, sweet love to you… and maybe tie you to my bed and not let you out until I am entirely satisfied after about three days of the messiest, sweatiest, most obscene, freaky…

"I'm out of here," Naruto chuckled and turned to leave, his stomach grumbling. He didn't have the energy to deal with Risa today. That and he could feel the jealous stares of the other guys burning into his back.

"Ah…" Risa watched him walk away. "I guess I did go a _little_ overboard."

The rest of the group gave her a deadpan look.

"Ahaha…" Risa stuck her tongue out and tapped her head.

* * *

><p>Naruto sighed heavily as he laid down on the roof staring at the sky. Sometimes the stares got too much and Naruto felt he needed to get away and here was the place he always chose to get away. As he sat staring at the sky he felt a familiar presence approach.<p>

"Risa," Naruto nodded at the girl who was looking sheepish.

"Sorry about today," Risa bowed her head. "I kind of got carried away."

"Don't worry about it," Naruto waved her off before his stomach made itself known, "Man I wish I had something to eat."

"Then have I got a gift for you!" Risa pulled a bento from behind her back. "Tadaa!"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked in surprise.

"Well I made too much for myself, you don't get this sexy figure by eating too much," Risa posed as Naruto opened the bento with relish.

"Hey this actually looks quite good," Naruto tried a bit. "Wow… this tastes good."

"You think so?" Risa looked hopeful.

"Yeah, this is pretty good." Naruto smiled at her. "You'll make someone a great bride one day."

"Ah…" Risa blushed red, "Hehehe I'm glad well… I er… Gotta go!" Risa left so fast there was actually an afterimage.

"Strange girl," Naruto remarked. When she wasn't being so damn flirty she was being so damn shy. Maybe the girl had some sort of bipolar disorder he thought to himself as he finished the bento before sauntering back to his classroom.

On his way back to class he walked by the nurse's office where he was suddenly dragged in by the school nurse.

"Why thank you for stopping by." Nurse Mikado released the blonde.

"Err... You're welcome?" Naruto blinked as the busty nurse took out a tape measure.

"According to my records we still don't have your physical results," Mikado smiled. "Now take your shirt off."

"Err...," Naruto frowned, "Hey wait a minute, I actually attended the last physical! You even took my measurements."

"Oh did I?" Mikado tapped her head, "Silly me."

"Yeah..." Naruto tilted his head. "Is there anything else?"

"Well I hear that you have been... Shall we say sexually active?"

"Oh gods..." Naruto felt his cheeks heat up.

"So if you ever find the standard positions are failing to excite you I can personally instruct you in a few more exotic positions." Mikado winked at him.

"What?!" Naruto staggered backwards. "I don't think that would be very professional."

"You're so innocent," Mikado smiled. "Well it is my job to educate you about such matters. Do you know how to wear protection?"

"I was there when they did the banana demonstration yes," Naruto nodded his head. His class had been shown how to wear a condom by putting it in a banana.

"Ah but have you tried putting one on yourself?"

"Er... No." Naruto felt as if his face was about to combust.

"Well then," Mikado smiled as she pulled a condom from her generous cleavage, "Let me show you..." She purred as she walked towards the blonde.

"Sorrygottagonextclassisstartingbye!" Naruto shot out of the office whilst Mikado tried not to laugh. He was just so cute when he was embarrassed. She replaced the condom and sat back in her chair, twirling a pen in her fingers and wondering, '_What can I do to embarrass Naruto next?' _

* * *

><p>Naruto groaned as he made his way home. School never failed to tire him out. With the exception of Haruna, pretty much every female he encountered was such a hassle to deal with. Whether it was Risa's bipolar attitude, Mikado's teasing or Yui's lecturing; the end result was a tired Naruto. And the worst was yet to come.<p>

He stood outside his house and slowly reached for the handle only for the door to swing open with such force that it nearly broke off its hinges then and a dark aura seemed to flow out of the house.

"Hey mum," Naruto smiled.

"Where have you been?" Kushina Uzumaki growled.

"At school," Naruto entered his house and dropped his bag, "The place I go almost every day."

"School finished twenty minutes ago! At full speed it should have taken you five minutes to get home!" Kushina declared, "You were seeing a girl weren't you?"

"No mum," Naruto took his shoes off.

"Even when you have a beautiful woman back home," Kushina clutched her heart.

"You're my mother, relations between a son and his mother are wrong." Naruto deadpanned.

"Ah Minato-kun," Kushina fell to her knees next to a small shrine, "Your son has been warped by the oppressors who deny our love."

"I'm getting a shower," Naruto sighed as his mother continued talking to the shrine. Of all the women Naruto knew, his mother was one of the most troublesome.

"I'll join you!" Kushina brightened only to pout as Naruto shut the door and pulled the bolts shut. "Naruto! Sons bathe with their mothers all the time!"

"Only when they're young!" Naruto sighed heavily. Sometimes he wondered if his life would be simpler if Kushina was his birth mother. His father had Naruto with another woman but when he married Kushina, both Naruto and his father took her name. Originally she viewed him as some whore's child but they eventually grew to care for each other. Then there was the accident with his father and all of a sudden Naruto was the only person left in her life.

Naruto closed his eyes as the water cascaded down his body. Blood or not, Kushina was his mother. His blood mother had cut her ties to him when he chose to go with his father. He didn't even know if she was still alive.

He reached out to grab the soap when his hands found something soft and warm. He squeezed experimentally and received a soft moan.

"Mum?" Naruto called.

"Have you changed your mind about bathing with me?" Kushina's voiced called from outside the bathroom where she was trying (and failing) to develop psychic powers to undo the mind control someone had clearly put on her beloved Naruto.

"No..." Naruto opened his eyes. If his mom hadn't managed to sneak into the room then just what had he grabbed? There was a beautiful pink haired girl in front of him. He felt his cheeks start to glow red as he slowly removed his hand from her breasts.

"Hello," the pinkette smiled at him.

"Hi," Naruto cleared his throat. '_What the hell do I do? I guess I can be polite, I did just grope her, not that she seems to care. I definately must be dreaming...'_"Can I help you?"

"Are you strong?" The pink haired girl asked taking in Naruto's muscular form.

"I guess so?" Naruto focused on her face.

"Could you protect me?" The girl grabbed Naruto's hand with a pleading expression.

"I can certainly try," Naruto nodded, "but first we should get dressed and you can explain everything to me."

"Okay," the girl beamed.

Naruto opened the door and let the girl out first before looking around. The window was shut and there was no way his mother would have let a naked girl into the bath, even if she would the door was bolted on his side. Where the hell had she come from?

Naruto stepped outside just in tone to see a dumbstruck Kushina. She turned to her son and suddenly was propelled backwards by a blast of blood from her nostrils.

"Oh right," Naruto sheepishly grabbed himself and the pinkette a towel before leading her to his room. _'Wait a minute... I'm taking a freshly showered girl to my room... Is tonight the night?' _Naruto suddenly felt very nervous before chiding himself and letting the girl into his room. He sat down and gestured for the girl to do the same.

"Nice room," the girl smiled.

"Thanks," Naruto smiled, "My names Naruto, what's yours?"

"Lala Deviluke," Lala smiled.

"Well it's nice to meet you Lala, so... How'd you end up in my bath?"

"I teleported!" The girl clapped her hands, causing a pleasant bounce in her breasts.

"Teleported?" Naruto blinked.

"Yup," the girl looked proud. "I used Pyon-Pyon Warp-kun, it's my own invention."

"Wait... You've built a teleportation device? What country are you from?" asked Naruto, stunned by this claim. While it would explain how she bypassed his enhanced senses and just appeared on front of him, the technology was far beyond what Earth was capable of.

"I'm from another planet," Lala smiled.

"Another planet," Naruto repeated. "Ah I see." He nodded sagely noticing the girl's tail. "I must have slipped in the bath and knocked myself out." He was interrupted by a smash as a strange flying creature smashed through his window.

"Lala-Sama!" The small creature called.

"Peke!" Lala cheered. "You're alright."

"I am fine, but you must be cold, here." The being known as Peke transformed until it was a skin tight outfit covering her body.

"Another one of your inventions?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Lala beamed at the blonde, "This is Peke, and she is my clothing robot and good friend. Peke this is Naruto."

"Hello," came a voice from the hair clip.

"Hey," Naruto glanced at his window, "I don't suppose you have a window fixing device?"

Suddenly what was left of his window disappeared as two suited thugs smashed through it.

"What the actual hell?" Naruto exclaimed.

"We are here for you Lala-Sama. Please surrender and there is no need for any more drama."

"I won't go with you!" Lala crossed her arms.

"We are authorised to use force if you resist."

"She said no." Naruto stepped forward.

"Do not get in our way. This is beyond the understanding of your primitive species."

"We have thugs like you here on Earth," Naruto cracked his knuckles, "I know all about your kind. And now I'm going to kick your ass."

Before the two bodyguards could respond Naruto rushed them. He swung a punch at one of the thugs who stopped it with hand.

"Huh," Naruto grinned, "You're a little tougher than the usual trash I deal with."

"Do not put us in the same league as a human." The thug holding his hand head butted him sending him flying through the wall of his house.

"Naruto!" Lala blinked.

"Now are you coming with us?" The two thugs turned back to Lala.

"Never!" Lala stuck her tongue out.

"Then force it is," the thug who had head butted Naruto stepped forward only tone sent flying when he received a kick to the jaw from a bleeding, towel clad Naruto.

The surprise attack bought enough time for Naruto to grab Lala and run away.

"Tch...," the downed thug picked himself up. "It appears that the human is going to be difficult."

Suddenly an oppressive Aura hit the two making it hard for the two assailants to breathe.

"**Which one of you corpses hurt my Naru-chan?" **Kushina growled, her long red hair trailing out like fiery tails.

The two thugs looked at each other before looking back at Kushina. Then without any sign of hesitation, both of them pointed at the other.

"**So you are both responsible. Good. You don't have to leave the mortal coil alone." **

* * *

><p>"Are you ok?" Lala asked as Naruto led her away from his house. Luckily it was dark and no one was around to see a bleeding, towel clad Naruto, god only knows what chaos would erupt.<p>

"I feel a bit dizzy," Naruto remarked as he wiped the blood out of his eyes.

"Why are you trying so hard to help me?" Lala asked.

"Because you needed help. Do I need a better reason?" Naruto smiled at her. "So long as someone needs my help I can't give up. Sure I may get injured and maybe even die, but if I did nothing then my soul would die and I'd rather be dead than alive without a soul."

"I see..." Lala stared at Naruto's back as they continued to run. "Where are we going?"

Naruto skidded to a halt In the middle of a small park. "Ah... Good question," He laughed.

Lala smiled as she felt herself drawn to this man. His devotion to his ideals and his kind nature were so refreshing to her. Usually the men she met were only after the status marrying her would achieve.

"Unhand Lala-Sama you savage!"

Naruto paused as he saw a guy wearing medieval style armour and carrying a glowing green sword.

"Seriously?" Naruto blinked, "I have to fight a space knight?"

"You don't have to," Lala shook her head. "He might not look like much but he is one of my home planets greatest warriors. Please..." Lala tried to stop Naruto.

"Sorry," Naruto smiled. "But I said I'd help you. Even if I have to crush the entire organisation that is trying to capture you."

Unaware that he had basically declared war on the strongest empire in the universe, Naruto cracked his knuckles and beckoned the knight. "Let's dance."

"I commend your bravery," the knight nodded. "I will ensure you are buried in honour."

Naruto charged the knight, before his instincts screamed for him to retreat. The knight's sword became a glowing wall of death as the swordsman swing it in a series of lightning fast strikes.

"Ah..." Naruto kept his distance. If he got close he was mincemeat yet he was a close range brawler. His vision was blurring due to his flagging blood levels and suddenly fighting this knight became obviously a bad idea. All he had was his towel.

"If you surrender I will be merciful." The knight paused in his furious assault in order to look Naruto in the eyes.

"As much as I would love to," Naruto quickly used his towel as a whip, managing to wrap it around the alien's arm. "I'll have to turn you down!" Naruto tugged before the guard had time to respond, planning on pulling the knight off balance before hitting him. Unfortunately the knight didn't even shift.

"You're human strength is nowhere near enough to harm me," the knight mocked, tugging his arm and sending Naruto flying into a fountain where he slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

'_Damn it. How do I beat this guy?' _Naruto thought as he struggled to stay awake. He could hear distant voices arguing. Then a scream from Lala.

"I will never give in!" Naruto roared as he exploded from the waterfall. His body seemed to glow with a strange new energy. Strange whisker marks appeared on his face.

"Naruto?!" Lala beamed.

"What power is this?!" The knight blinked, "It is almost like Gid-sama!"

Despite his wounds Naruto felt great. He willed his body to move faster and it did, closing the distance between him and the knight almost instantaneously and dealing a fierce punch that sent the knight sprawling backwards.

"How'd you like me now..." Naruto muttered as the energy faded away and he collapsed from exhaustion.

* * *

><p>Naruto groggily opened his eyes. He was in his bed and his head was sore.<p>

"So it was a dream after all, shame. That Lala was quite attractive." Naruto smiled.

"I am pleased that you find Lala-Sama appealing."

Naruto leapt out of his bed. "You! You're that knight... Wait you look as if you got run over by a tank..."

"I know not what this tank of which you speak is... But I suspect it is powerful," the knight's around was mostly destroyed and he was covered in bandages. He had been sat watching Naruto sleep, which Naruto found creepy.

"Did my punch do that?"

"Your punch did some damage. Your mother did the rest." the Knight winced, "Ah I believe introductions are in order. I am Zastin, Lady Lala's personal bodyguard."

"Bodyguard?" Naruto blinked.

"Indeed," Zastin cleared his throat, "You see Lala-Sama is a princess of Deviluke, the heir to the empire that rules over most of the known galaxy."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"She had run away from her father when you encountered her. He keeps setting up arranged marriages and she keeps running away."

"What?" Naruto repeated.

"By proving your valour and skill yesterday, you have won Lala-sama's heart. Congratulations," Zastin pulled a small party popper, "On your engagement."

"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled out.

"Ah you're awake!" Lala entered the room. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Naruto forced a smile, "But what's this about me being engaged?"

"Well," Lala looked embarrassed, "You were so brave and strong and if my papa is going to force me to get married, I might as well choose someone I love."

"Love? We have only known each other for a matter of hours and I've spent most of them wearing nothing but a towel and getting beat up. You can't seriously love me after witnessing that." Naruto sighed. "You're just using me as a way to get out of marrying your other suitors aren't you?"

"Well that's not entirely true..." Lala laughed weakly.

"Why don't you just tell you dad how you feel?" Naruto suggested.

"Papa is stubborn," Lala pouted. "He wants an heir."

"Maybe I could talk to him," Naruto offered, "Make him see reason."

"Er... Papa and reason don't go together well..."

"The last time anyone questioned Gid-Sama he destroyed that person's home planet." Zastin added.

"Oh..." Naruto faltered before recovering, "Well I'll bet I can make him see reason. After all what father would put anything before their daughter's happiness?"

"Would you bet the earth?" Zastin asked. "Trust me, it is easier just to accept your fate."

"No," Naruto shook his head. "Lala deserves to marry the person she wants to, not just marry me because it's convenient. Everyone deserves true love," Naruto finished passionately.

Zastin and Lala looked at the boy with newfound respect.

"Here, here!" Kushina proclaimed as she entered the room. "Our true love shall destroy all that opposes it!"

"... Anyway," Naruto ignored his mother's outburst, "Can you set up a meeting between me and your father?"

"Of course," Lala nodded, "We should be able to reach him from Zastin's ship."

"Then let's do this," Naruto cracked his knuckles.

* * *

><p>Naruto tugged at his collar as he stood in a large empty chamber. The screen I front of him was currently blank but would soon show the face of the emperor of the Milky Way galaxy. Naruto wished he had some clothing that was more suited for this diplomatic venture. His only suit-like outfit was his school uniform and even with it tucked in, Naruto knew he wasn't going to earn any points with his attire.<p>

"Communication established." Zastin's voiced called out.

The screen flickered until it showed a silhouette sat on a throne. A trident tail flicked lazily as the figure turned its attention to Naruto.

"Who are you?" The voice struck Naruto like a physical blow. He was filled with a sense of worthlessness. He was nothing, just a speck of dirt before a god.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto forced out.

"Humph," Gid seemed unimpressed.

"I am here to talk about your daughter."

"I have no need for a weakling as a son in law, now be gone before I reduce your planet to ashes."

"I do not seek your daughters hand in marriage," Naruto took a deep breath, "In fact I want you to stop forcing her into arranged marriages."

"You would order me?" Gid's silhouette seemed to grow in size.

"Yes." Naruto flinched as the pressure in the room became unbearable.

"What will you do when I completely ignore your order?"

"I find you and kick your ass." Naruto was struggling to breathe but he wouldn't back down.

"She is my daughter to do with as I choose." Gid responded.

Something In Naruto snapped. He felt strange, just like when he fought Zastin. His body felt light. His mind was clear.

"You don't have the right to call Lala your daughter." Naruto snarled as the whisker marks appeared on his face again. "You act like she is some sort of pawn to marry off at your convenience, well so long as I draw breath she will marry who she wants!"

There was a deadly silence. The silhouette of Gid seemed to be shaking then the connection was cut.

Naruto felt the aura fade away and quickly started to panic. '_Crap... Did I just doom the Earth?'_

* * *

><p>Gid was shaking with excitement. The power the young human had shown have him hope that one day there would be hope for a ruler worthy of taking his place. He had been surprised that the human could speak in his Aura of Dominance but to actually have an aura of his own was a stroke of good luck. He would make a great heir and looking at how Lala had reacted during Naruto's speech (Gid had broadcast the conversation to Peke's internal radio and had installed cameras in the small robot unbeknownst to Lala and the robot. He was <em>that<em> good.) he wouldn't have to worry. Lala seemed enthralled by the blonde's presence. If she had her way he would be calling Naruto son in law before long. The only problem was the boy didn't seem to call on his power consciously. Gid would have to make sure the boy mastered his power but how?

He suddenly grinned as his eyes fell on a book labelled 'Lala-chan's Suitors'.

* * *

><p>Naruto was pacing around his living room watched by his mother.<p>

"Stop pacing around," Kushina chided him.

"I may have doomed the Earth." Naruto put his head in his hands, "What was I thinking?"

"You did what you knew was right," Kushina hugged Naruto and held him on her breasts. "It's what I love most about you, you fearlessness when it comes to opposing evil."

"And it may have killed us all."

"Well if we are to die," Kushina pulled Naruto's face up to look at her, "how about you and me..."

"Not happening," Naruto deadpanned.

"Damn it," Kushina scowled.

"Naruto-kun!" The door to his house was blasted open and a pink blur knocked Naruto out of Kushina's arms and into the sofa.

"Lala?" Naruto blinked.

"I heard you face down papa..." Lala beamed at him. It was a genuinely happy smile and it filled Naruto with warmth.

"Ah well..." Naruto blushed. "It was nothing. I couldn't let you marry someone if you didn't want to."

"Papa says he won't force me to marry anyone. In fact he has given his blessings for me to marry the man I love when I told him who it was."

"That's great," Naruto stroked her head, "And who is this lucky fellow."

"Why you of course!" Lala smiled.

"What? But the whole point of me speaking to your dad was so that you didn't have to marry me to get out of arranged marriages!"

"And you succeeded." Lala clapped her hands together, "I don't have to marry you. I want to!"

"I... I'm flattered really," Naruto untangled himself from Lala, "But I don't love you. I mean I like you sure, but love?"

"It's alright," Lala looked fired up. "If you can make papa change his mind, then I will make you change yours! I will make you fall in love with me!"

"Good luck with that," Kushina muttered bitterly.

Chapter 1 End


	2. Chapter 2: Hero Complex

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Wow… I was not expecting the level of interest in this story that it actually a result I have removed this story from the think tank and moved it into my active stories. I will update this and Ninja Pirate as regularly as I can. The next chapter of ninja pirate is ready but I am having some difficulty uploading it. At the end of the chapter is a kind of character sheet showing Naruto's abilties at the present time.

Disclaimer: I do not own To Love Ru or Naruto.

Story Start

Chapter 2: Hero Complex

Naruto inhaled a soft strawberry scent as he slowly woke up. As expected a blushing Kushina lay next of him, giggling and drooling in her sleep. Groaning he rolled over and froze as he saw Lala sleeping with a gentle smile. He carefully lifted the covers of his bed and quickly dropped them as he turned bright red. She wasn't wearing anything. Taking a deep breath Naruto managed to calm himself and creep out of his bed without disturbing any of the two women in his bed. Muttering a quick prayer of thanks to whatever God had helped him escape without waking either of them he left his room and went to the bathroom to wash his face. Of course if he knew that the powers that be only were willing to give him one get out of jail card for today, he would have probably saved it for later on.

No sooner had he left than Kushina had rolled over and sleepily hugged what she thought was her son. She scowled something didn't feel quite right. Sleepily she poked what seemed wrong, getting a soft moan from Lala as she prodded her breasts. The noise caused Kushina's eyes to widen as she fully woke up.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Kushina leapt out of bed and pointed at Lala who blinked and cutely yawned as the covers fell off her naked body.

"Good morning," Lala beamed as she stretched out.

"Good morning my ass!" Kushina growled. "I was hoping to have an early morning mother son bonding session!"

"Somehow I get the feeling that what you were planning would be completely inappropriate for a mother and a son." Naruto dead panned as he re-entered his room before quickly spinning around. "Put some clothes on!" He closed his eyes and tried to calm his blush.

"Peke!" Lala called out and said clothing robot quickly dressed Lala in her strange alien cosplay outfit.

"Thanks," Naruto turned back, his blush back under control. "Now what were you doing in my bed?"

"I wanted to sleep with you. I am going to be your wife, isn't it natural for a husband and wife to sleep together?" Lala asked innocently.

"Well yes…" Naruto started. "But we aren't husband and wife."

"Yet." Lala corrected.

"Ever." Kushina growled.

"Listen I would love to continue this discussion," Naruto grabbed his school uniform from his closet. "But I have places to be so… see you later."

"Oh? Where are you going?" Lala tilted her head.

"School." Naruto said before shutting the door behind him.

"School?" Lala turned to Kushina, "Can I go?"

"You can't just wander into school and join," Kushina shook her head. "There is paperwork and interviews to see if you can get in."

"I see…" Lala brightened up. "So if I can fill in the paperwork then I can go to school."

"If you pass the interview yes," Kushina nodded. "But you need a signature from a guardian that is registered as a resident of Earth to complete the paper work."

"Would you sign my paperwork?" Lala asked.

"Hah!" Kushina snorted. "And give you a chance to steal away my Naru-chan!"

"I won't steal him away." Lala smiled widely. "As the Emperor of the Milky Way galaxy he will be expected to take on many brides."

"…What?" Kushina paused.

"It is a sign of status, the number of women who love you and have your children represents how good a ruler you are." Lala stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the known galaxy. "As the Emperor that means he has to have at least 4 wives minimum."

"4 wives?"

"And since you say you are not actually blood related and Earth documents don't really mean much to a Devilukian court then that means you are able to marry him as well. "

"…" Kushina went silent.

"And if we work together there is no way Naruto will be able to resist falling in love with us!" Lala held out a hand to Kushina. "So what do you say? Partners?"

"…" Kushina grabbed Lala in a bear hug.

"I'll take that as a yes," Lala beamed.

* * *

><p>Naruto sighed loudly as he sat with his head resting on the desk. "I feel as if my life is suddenly going to get more complicated."<p>

"Are you okay Uzumaki-san?" Haruna glanced at her childhood friend sat next to her.

"That remains to be seen," Naruto straightened up as the other members of his class filtered in slowly. "Yesterday was a bit of a pain for me. I ended up having to deal with someone even more troublesome than my mother."

"I see," Haruna smiled softly, "I hope everything works out ok."

"Meh," Naruto stretched out. "I always end up landing on my feet. I'll be fine!" He gave her a grin and a thumbs up.

Class went slowly as usual for the blonde haired protagonist. Maths just wasn't really his strong point. He wasn't stupid but neither was he particularly gifted academically. He could pass his exams comfortably which was enough for him.

As the teacher droned on Naruto started to stare out of the window and blinked as he spotted some unfamiliar faces on the school grounds. There was a group of seven teens wearing full black tracksuits with a panther emblazoned on the back. _'Those are those panther thugs again.' _He thought to himself. _'Wonder what they are doing here. If they are trying to cause trouble…' _He narrowed his eyes.

"Uzumaki!" The teacher called. "Are you paying attention?"

"Sorry Sensei," Naruto replied. "I was distracted by those delinquents." He nodded out of the window and the entire class got out of their seats to stare.

"Back in your seats," The bespectacled teacher called before peering out of the window himself. "Hmm… They do look somewhat suspicious but you should focus on your studies."

"Yes Sensei." Naruto replied and turned his head to face the teacher who continued his lecture, although Naruto's eyes never left the group of delinquents. They were walking around the school grounds knocking over litter bins but otherwise not doing much. _'They're pretty juvenile if they think knocking over some bins makes them look like bad asses.' _

Eventually the bell rung to signal the end of the lesson and Naruto took to the corridor with the intention of dealing with the delinquents before someone got hurt. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't the first person on the scene.

"You are lacking in morals!" Yui yelled at the group as Naruto arrived. Judging by the looks on the thugs faces she had been lecturing them and was getting on their nerves.

"Why don't you just shut up you dumb broad." One of the thugs pointed a baseball bat at Yui.

"Yeah," Another who licked a switch blade leered at her, "All you bimbos are good for is screwing!"

"What did you say?" Yui's eyes narrowed. "It is people like you that are causing the moral backbone of our very society to decay!"

"I don't know what you mean but your tone of voice is pissing me off!" The baseball bat wielding thug swung said bat at Yui who froze in shock.

Without a seconds hesitation Naruto charged forwards and blocked the attack with his arm, causing the bat to explode into splinters.

"Tch," Naruto plucked a few splinters out of his arm while the thugs suddenly leapt backwards. "That hurt. And if that hurt me, it pisses me off to think of what damage that would have done to Yui-chan here."

"D… Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui pointed at Naruto whilst blushing.

"So…" Naruto clenched his fists. "Who's the first one to get discount dentist work done?" He grinned at the thugs.

"We aren't afraid of you!" The thug with the broken bat threw it to the ground and pulled out a switchblade. "I'll cut you first, then your little girlfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Yui's blush was threatening to take over her entire body at this point.

"You can try," Naruto grinned turned feral, "Better than you have failed though." And with this he suddenly launched himself at the thug that had tried to harm Yui. The thug tried to slash Naruto but the blonde grabbed his arm and delivered a fierce kick to the thug's chest, causing him to drop the knife and double over wheezing. Naruto lazily kicked the knife away from the thug before delivering a round house kick that struck the thug in the head and caused him to fly a good twelve feet before crashing into an unconscious heap. "Next," Naruto lazily beckoned at the six remaining thugs.

"Bastard!" Two charged him together, brandishing brass knuckles and small knives. Naruto ducked under a brass knuckle and delivered a powerful uppercut to the would-be attacker causing him to flip over backwards and hit the ground hard. A knife lunge was sidestepped and the thug attempting ran into Naruto's outstretched arm, his head jerking backwards from the clothesline as he too fell to the floor.

Seeing the ease of which Naruto dispatched two more of their members, the remaining thugs pulled out baseball bats and knives before glaring at the blonde.

"Catch this you bastard!" One of the thugs threw his knife at Naruto who calmly snatched it out of the air and tossed it behind him. "Damn it!"

"Why not just cut your losses and drag your pathetic friends out of here?" Naruto offered. "I'm sure the teachers have called the police by now. Why hang around and get arrested?"

"We Panthers have our pride!" One of the gang members smirked. His tracksuit appeared to be of a better quality that the others and he had a military style rank badge on his arm. Naruto assumed he was the leader. "And we also have our weapons!" He pulled out a gun.

'_Not good.' _Naruto's eyes widened. _'How'd he get a gun in Japan? These Panthers are starting to look less like a delinquent group and more like an organised crime ring!' _

"Not so tough now are you?!" He laughed manically. "Now I'll give you a choice! You either stand there and let my men kick the living daylights out of you… or I start taking pot shots at the students, starting with your girlfriend over there."

"You bastard…" Naruto growled.

"What was that?" The gun wielding thug smirked and cocked the hand gun, pointing it at Yui.

"Fine… you win," Naruto glared at the leader. "I won't fight back."

"You heard him boys!" The leader laughed as they fell on Naruto wielding baseball bats. They struck without mercy, Naruto just standing there and taking the hits as Yui screamed at them to stop. After ten minutes of uninterrupted attacks the heavily panting thugs stepped away.

Naruto was a mess. His face was bloody and the steady dripping of blood from his arm as well as the odd shape suggested that at least one arm was badly broken. Yet even as he took enough punishment to kill a normal human, he never let a single cry of pain escape his lips. He stood defiant, his fierce blue eyes glaring at the gun wielding thug.

"Not so hot now are you?" The leader snorted.

"That's… not what your mother said last night…" Naruto muttered through gritted teeth.

"You are dead," The leader snarled before turning the gun on Naruto and pulling the trigger.

Naruto's senses seemed to go into overdrive. He saw the bullet moving towards him and willed his body to move. The bullet seemed to be travelling at a snail's pace but Naruto's body refused to respond.

'_Am I going to die?' _His mind threw up images. Kushina weeping over his grave. Lala, Haruna and Risa looking sad. Yui blaming herself for him dying. _'To hell with that!' _Naruto suddenly felt energised and forced his body out of the path of the bullet. The thug's eyes slowly widened as Naruto forced himself to move towards him as his senses kept the world moving slowly. He started to feel lighter as a blue energy filled him. Whiskers appeared on his face and he found himself easily dodging the shots as the thug fired round after round at him. He pointed the gun at Yui and with a defiant snarl fired his last bullet. Naruto watched and reached out as the slow motion started to fade and his body got heavier. Just as time returned to normal, Naruto grabbed to bullet and winced as the bullet hit his hand, yet a small glimmer of the blue energy remained, preventing the bullet from piercing his hand.

"What the hell?!" The leader staggered backwards.

"You dropped this," Naruto opened his hand revealing the bullet. His body felt heavy but his arms seemed to have miraculously healed. Rather than pain he just felt incredibly fatigued. He flicked it, striking the bullet with what little blue energy he had left, causing the bullet to fire quicker than if a gun had fired it. It struck the leader's gun causing it to explode into its individual components.

"M…Monster!" The leader turned to run, quickly followed by the few thugs that were still conscious.

"That was tiring…" Naruto remarked as the blue energy and whiskers finally completely faded away.

"Uzumaki-san…" Yui looked at the blonde with tears in her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He turned to look at her.

"Idiot," Yui whimpered. "I'm the one who should be asking that."

"If you're calling me names then you are ok," Naruto grinned his usual cheeky grin that made Yui feel all warm inside. "I'm glad you're alright." And with that he passed out and fell to the floor, not hearing Yui scream his name.

"Quick!" Yui turned to face some students who had stood to watch, "Help me carry him to the nurses office!"

"Shouldn't we call an ambulance?" A student suggested before cowering under Yui's fierce gaze.

"Fine… call the police to deal with these lowlifes," Yui threw one of Naruto's arms over her shoulder and was helped by nurse Mikado.

"Ara," Mikado smiled, "It looks like Naruto-kun has gotten himself into trouble again, Let's get him to my office okay?"

Yui nodded as the two woman carried the unconscious blonde to the infirmary. Mikado asked Yui to wait outside as she did some checks on Naruto.

Standing outside Yui stared off into space until Mikado assured her he was not harmed and went to go inform his teacher that he would be missing the class. Yui simply sat next to his bed and was lulled to sleep by the gentle sound of Naruto's breathing and slept into a troubled dream.

_A seven year old Yui cowered as the other older girls kicked her. She was curled up in the foetal position trying to protect her head. _

"_Little miss prim and proper should learn her place!" One of the girls mocked as she lashed out at Yui. She looked at least thirteen, "Because of your comments my boyfriend thinks I'm easy!" _

"_Yeah!" Her two minions joined in with no remorse. _

"_Hey! What do you hags think you are doing?!" A loud voice distracted the girls who turned to face a young blond boy. He was wearing blue trousers and an orange shirt._

"_Hags? Sounds like someone is asking for a beating," The leader smirked as they left a whimpering Yui and turned to the newcomer._

"_I don't like fighting girls… fortunately I have no problem fighting hags!" The Seven year old Naruto proclaimed loudly. _

"_Why I ought to…" The girl lashed out at Naruto who easily dodged her attack and pushed her over, causing her to scrape her elbow. The girl burst into tears and ran away, her minions following her. _

"_Are you okay? My names Naruto" Naruto helped Yui to her feet, who nodded and sniffled, staying quiet the whole time Naruto lead her back to her house, only speaking up to give him directions. Leaving her in the worried arms of her family, Naruto left the house only to be stopped by a group of twelve thirteen year olds including the three girls that had been bullying her. Yui could do nothing but watch from her room as the group ganged up on the blonde and beat him up. He managed to take down three of his aggressors but the extra strength and numbers of the older children soon showed. She should have done something but she was too scared. She was always too scared. She never even told the boy her name. _

A tear trailed down the sleeping Yui's face. The more things change the more things stay the same.

* * *

><p>Naruto groaned as he woke up. His entire body felt like it had been eaten up, swallowed, spat back up then given the same treatment all over again. He was laid in the school infirmary.<p>

"Ah… here again," Naruto remarked as he pulled the covers off only to freeze. He wasn't wearing anything other than his shirt. He started furiously looked around only to see a sleeping Yui sat on a chair next to his bed. Praying to any god that might be listening that Yui didn't wake up until he found something to wear, he crept around the infirmary.

'_Where the hell are my clothes?' _Naruto mentally cried. This whole situation had Mikado written all over it. For some reason the nurse seemed to take a perverse pleasure in putting him in embarrassing situations like this and for the life of him he couldn't work out why. She didn't seem to take this interest in anyone else, at least he hadn't heard anyone complaining about her behaviour. He looked at the bed next to his and noticed that something was underneath.

He got on his knees and looked underneath the bed and found his clothes. Grinning widely he crawled under the bed with his back to Yui.

If Naruto had been able to see the future, it was now that he would have wanted to use his get out of jail free card. Unfortunately having used his celestial favour for the day, he was left to the cruel romantic comedy gods and they knew exactly how they wanted this scene to play out. With a cute little yawn, Yui woke up.

"Uzumaki-san…" Yui blinked and sleepily looked at him. Then froze as she realised she was staring at his naked rear. '_He has an amazingly toned… how wait! I can't think like that!' _"What are you doing Uzumaki-san?!"

Naruto jumped from shock, banging his head on the bottom of the bed and cursed loudly.

"W..Why are you naked?!" Yui stammered.

"It's not what it looks like!" Naruto leapt to his feet in order to defend himself. _'Not that I'm sure what it looked like but judging by her expression it isn't anything good.' _

Yui looked at his face. She knew that if she looked down _she_ would be the pervert in this situation. So she focused all of her willpower and keeping her eyes on his face.

"What is it then?" She managed.

"I woke up like this," Naruto gestured to his naked (at least where it mattered) state.

Yui foolishly followed the gesture and got an eyeful. "Gah! It appears you are an exhibitionist! Do your perversions know no end?" Yui cried as she covered her eyes with her hands (making sure to leave a little gap. Just so she could make sure Naruto wasn't going to try anything. It was definitely not to get another look at his manhood which made her feel all warm and tingly inside. It most definitely wasn't that.)

Naruto covered himself as Yui turned her back on him. "Just let me get dressed…"

"I'm not looking," Yui remarked.

"Thanks," Naruto weakly chuckled as he got dressed.

Yui stared at the wall trying to ignore the rustling of clothes behind her and definitely not using the reflection in the mirror to admire Naruto's form as much as possible before he concealed it again.

"Okay you can turn around now," Naruto stood wearing his school uniform. "Seems like it has been cleaned. I guess I have you and Nurse Mikado to thank for that."

"You are okay." Yui stated. "I was just here to make sure that you weren't badly injured. After all it is my duty as a student at this school."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto smiled as Yui started out of the room. "Hey Yui-chan?"

"Do not address me so familiarly!" Yui turned to chastise him but froze when she saw his honest smile.

"Thanks," He beamed at her and Yui merely squeaked before leaving the room, trying to steady her heart. "Guess she doesn't like me," Naruto remarked sadly. "Ah well can hardly blame her. She did just get an eyeful of Naruto junior." Naruto clapped his hands in prayer. "Please let this not get around. Last thing I need is for Risa questioning Yui about my size or something."

"I would have thought that you would have loved the girls to know, after all you are not lacking in that department." Mikado leant on the doorway as she smiled at the blonde.

"AH!" Naruto leapt backwards and pointed at the nurse. "It's you! You're responsible for that scene with Yui-chan!"

"Oh my…" Mikado purred. "How could I examine the extent of your injuries if I didn't remove your clothes?"

"All the blows were to my upper body." Naruto deadpanned. "No damage was dealt below the waist. Yet you left my shirt on!"

"Well I had to make sure that your most important parts were… functioning." Mikado winked slyly.

"I do not like the way you said that…" Naruto shivered.

"Well there was one part that I didn't have time to _fully_ examine as it was sleeping." Mikado grinned sexily. She pulled out some latex gloves and put them on, "So let's make sure 'Naruto Junior' is working correctly."

"It'sfinethankyouverymuchohisthatthetimeireallyhavetogetgoingbye!" Naruto practically dived out of the window to avoid getting to close to the sexy nurse, who walked up to the window and watched him scamper down a tree and out of the school grounds.

"My, my," Mikado chuckled. "You are ever interesting Naruto Uzumaki. An enigma…" She glanced at the clipboard she was carrying with notes on Naruto's physical condition. "And one I fully intend to solve."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile back at Casa De Uzumaki, Operation Win Naruto's heart was being planned.<p>

"So let me get this straight," Kushina crossed her arms and stared at the smiling pink haired alien. "You want me to do nothing?"

"That's right," Lala nodded. "From what you said Naruto has grown immune to your constant attempts to seduce him. By constantly doing it he just expects you to do it." Lala pulled out a Devilukian magazine, "It says here that by suddenly withdrawing your love he will stop taking it for granted and will start to actively pursue you in order to get the love back!"

"And while I'm doing nothing… what are you planning to do?"

"This magazine says love is a battle," Lala stood up straight in a parody of a military salute. "And no battle was won with poor intelligence. I will spend more time with Naruto and learn all of his likes and dislikes, all the while slowly winning him over!"

"So while you get all cosy with Naruto I'm expected to sit back and watch." Kushina nodded her head. "LIKE HELL!" She flipped over the table. "This is just a plan to steal my precious Naru-chan!"

"No!" Lala shook her head furiously. "Naruto seems to keep people at an arm's distance. If I can't get close to him then I can open the way for others, such as yourself, to also get close to him!" Lala replied honestly.

"Is that so?" Kushina's eyes narrowed as she watched Lala. She appeared to be honest but then again she was an alien and that means her body language could be completely different. In fact her whole genetic makeup would be… Kushina's eyes widened. "But you aren't human." Kushina pointed out. "Naru-chan always wanted a big family with lots of sons and daughters but you aren't human! You can't give birth to his children!"

"I can't?" Lala looked confused.

"That's right," Kushina smirked victoriously. "Why… I'll bet our species don't even reproduce the same way!"

"I…" Lala faltered. It was true that she was Devilukian and Naruto was human but that didn't mean she couldn't bear his children right? She had never really thought of looking into this. All she knew is that when she looked at Naruto she felt giddy and content. When she laid next to him she felt as if everything would be alright. When she had watched him defend her against her father, her heart almost burst from her chest. "I'll find a way." She whispered quietly but with such passion that Kushina couldn't help but smile softly.

"You'll find a way huh?" Kushina sighed as she returned the table to its upright position.

"That's right." Lala looked at Kushina fiercely. "I love Naruto-kun. I know that I may seem unlikely seeing as we haven't really known each other that long but I have seen the kind of person he is and I love him. I love his hair, his eyes, his smile, his reckless behaviour when it comes to defending over people. Even if I have to rewrite my genetic code in order to have his children I will."

"Tch," Kushina looked away. As a mother Lala was everything she could look for in a daughter in law. Unfortunately Kushina wasn't exactly looking to be Naruto's mother and that's where the problems start. She wondered if she had been Naruto's blood mother if things would be different. She sometimes hated herself. She knew that she shouldn't have such feelings for her son, blood related or not, but she couldn't help it. At first she thought it was his appearance as he was almost a carbon copy of his father but as the two spent more time together she realised his personality was completely different. Whereas his father was quite laid back, Naruto was always giving everything (at least when it didn't come to his academics) 110%. If someone told him something was impossible he would do it just to spite them. He would do anything to protect his friends and loved ones and he always had.

She remembered the incident when their house had been broken into shortly after Minato had his accident. The robbers had guns and were threatening to rape Kushina when Naruto (who she had told to stay hidden) leapt on one of the gun men and bit his hand causing the man to drop the gun. The robber had hit Naruto and sent him flying into a wall with a sickening crack where he fell to the floor and didn't move. She didn't remember what happened next but the next thing she could remember she was in hospital being treated for gun shots to her legs and arms with a bandaged Naruto holding her hand beaming at her when she awoke. There was apparently not enough left of the robbers to use as evidence and the police decided to brush it under the carpet as a favour to the family.

"I don't want to be your enemy," Lala continued earnestly. "But if you stand before me and my love, I will overcome you."

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Kushina grinned. "Fine… I guess that means we are allies for the time being… but I will be Naru-chan's first!"

"Challenge accepted!" Lala declared happily as the two women shook hands.

* * *

><p>As Naruto arrived home he paused outside his door to catch his breath. He had run the whole way. Checking his watch he saw that school finished over an hour ago, yet there was no ominous aura coming from the house. If he took ten minutes longer than usual to get home his mother would have organised a man hunt.<p>

"Odd…" Naruto opened the door and saw that his mother's shoes were still here. He started to worry. _'What if she had an accident whilst I was at school?'_

"Challenge accepted!" Lala declared as Naruto walked into the room.

"What's going on here?" Naruto threw his school bag to one side.

"Oh Naruto!" Lala beamed.

"How was school today?" Kushina noticed the time. "And where the hell have you been? You're an hour late!"

"I got involved in an incident," Naruto shook his head. "Nothing severe though."

"An incident huh?" Kushina's eyes narrowed. "Did this incident involve a girl?"

"Well.. I guess so," Naruto admitted earning a bestial roar of fury.

"This is your fault!" Kushina pointed at a confused looking Lala. "If you hadn't distracted me with this whole nonsense I would have sensed my Naru-chan's purity being threatened!"

"It's not like that!" Naruto waved his arms around desperately. "There were some guys who were going to use their weapons on this girl I know…"

"OH MY HEAVENS!" Kushina shrieked. "MY SON WAS AT AN ORGY!"

"LIKE HELL I WAS!" Naruto roared back as Kushina sat sobbing in front of Minato's shrine.

"MY little boy has been corrupted by the evils of the world. Oh Minato-kun what should I do? He sticks his_ weapon _in anyone but me? Am I that unattractive Minato-kun?"

"I give in," Naruto collapsed in a seat.

"So… what happened?" Lala asked, beaming as Naruto smiled at her.

"A girl I know got herself in trouble with this gang and…"

"THEY MADE YOU DO A PORNO TOGETHER IN ORDER TO FORGET THE DEBT HER FAMILY OWED THEM?" Kushina wailed. "AND YOU DIDN'T BRING ME A COPY HOME?! Oh Minato-kun, where did we go wrong?"

"Where did you go right?!" Naruto exclaimed. "I got into a fight! That's all."

"A fight?" Kushina's tears stopped instantly. "Oh… did you win?"

"I guess…" Naruto rubbed his chin. "They had a gun which they used to threaten a girl who I know so I had to just stand and take a beating or else they were going to kill her."

"**Those lowlife bastards," **The evil aura sprung around Kushina, **"I'm going to eviscerate them!" **

"Is school always this dangerous?" Lala asked.

"Only for me it would seem," Naruto shrugged as Kushina went into explicit detail on just what she was going to do to the punks who dared hurt her precious Naru-chan. It was getting pretty disturbing to Lala but Naruto was used to this and easily tuned it out. "Then again I always seem to get myself in trouble helping others… maybe I am just a closet masochist." He joked.

"I don't care what your fetishes are," Lala looked at his with eyes that warmed his soul. He felt his heart beat increasing and all of a sudden his lips felt dry. "I will help you fulfil them." Her tone was so full of love that Naruto felt his face practically burning up. The fact what she said was kind of erotic also meant what blood wasn't being pumped to his face was making its way southward. He found himself leaning towards Lala and her lips seemed to be called out to his.

"If Naru-chan wants tough love," A dominatrix clad Kushina cracked a whip, "Mommy will provide it."

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT FROM?" Naruto roared before flipping the table. "READ THE MOOD DAMN IT!"

"Hmm…" Lala looked between the two Uzumaki completely oblivious to how close she was to getting her first kiss, "Is flipping tables and exaggerated responses a family trait?"

"NO!" The two Uzumaki roared whilst flipping the table the right way up again.

* * *

><p>Random Stats and stuff for the story. It serves little purpose but it helps summarise Naruto's abilities and relationships. The 'Aura' is basically the Chakra of this universe. Every living thing has it but certain beings have more powerful auras that actually can manifest special abilities.<p>

**NARUTO UZUMAKI**

**Base Abilities **

Strength (Excellent) _Far stronger than anyone of his weight and size. Stronger than most humans_

Intelligence (Average) _While relatively quick thinking in battle, nothing special when it comes to studies_

Speed (Good) _He is one of the fastest in his class. _

Constitution (Excellent) _He is able to shrug off most illnesses. Has unparalleled stamina and Aura potential_

Reflexes (Good) _His reflexes are the same as most martial artists with several years of experience _

**Special Abilities**

Aura Level 0 (Passive Abilities) – No obvious signs. Always in effect

- Faster regeneration _Naruto always heals even broken bones in a matter of days _

- Improved Strength _While strong naturally, his aura further increases his strength _

- Improved Constitution _Boosting his natural hardiness makes him a tank when it comes to damage taken_

- Resistance to other Aura's effects _As demonstrated by overcoming Gid's Aura of Authority _

Aura Level 1 (Subconsciously Activated) – Whisker Marks and Blue Aura become visible

- Improved Regeneration (Activated) _Naruto can heal broken bones in a matter of minutes at the expense of a lot of Aura energy_

- Channel Aura to senses (Activated) _A very taxing ability but undoubtedly powerful. Grants a Bullet time style effect  
><em>

- Channel Aura to improve defence and attack (Activated) _Aura protects against bullets and weapons and can propel an object with great force_

**Combat Skills **

Brawler (Intermediate)

_As a brawler, Naruto has developed a high pain tolerance as well as a certain resistance to blunt weapons such as fists or baseball bats. He is also used to using anything as a weapon and is quite creative when it comes to improvised weaponry as demonstrated by his towel whip technique against Zastin_

**Other Skills **

Technology (intermediate)

_Naruto has more than a passing interest in technology and it shows in his room. He personally built and upgraded his own computer from scratch and tends to dismantle old phones in order to get a good look at how they work. _

Gaming (Expert)

_He is very good at FPS, Fighting, RPG and Sport games. A side effect of not having many friends is that Naruto had to find his own entertainment. _

**Heroines**

Lala Deviluke (Devilukian Princess)

Met Naruto after running away from her father to avoid being forced into marriage. Originally pretended to love Naruto in order to use him as an excuse for staying on Earth but after hearing him stand up for her against her father, she genuinely fell in love with him. Somewhat innocent and naïve but a master at building gadgets and possesses the native Devilukian strength that makes her race the dominant force in the universe.

Loves Naruto

Naruto is starting to have feelings for Lala

Kushina Uzumaki (Naruto's Adopted Mother)

Originally hated Naruto when they first met when he was barely four years old as he was a sign that she wasn't Minato's first love. She grew to love Naruto as her own son until Minato, her husband and Naruto's real father, was involved in an accident. Left alone with no one but Naruto she gradually began to see him as less of a son and more as a man. Fiercely protective of Naruto, Kushina is a master of wielding her inner energy in order to boost her strength to impossible levels.

Loves Naruto but is aware that he sees her as a mother.

Naruto loves her as a mother and not as a woman.

Yui Kotegawa (The Strict Student)

Yui first met Naruto when he defended her from bullies. Unfortunately the bullies had even bigger bullies as friends and they all ganged up on Naruto and beat him whilst Yui did nothing to help leading to Yui feeling incredibly guilty. She has a crush on Naruto for saving her back then and he has saved her many times since as her attempts to impose a moral order on the town tend to result in people getting angry at her. Naruto is unaware that the girl he helped is in fact Yui and as far as he is aware the first time they met was at school when he fought some delinquents and she proceeded to lecture him on how he should behave at school.

Respects Naruto but feels she is unworthy of his friendship after she left him to be beat up as a child. She believes he could be a true gentlemen if he only followed her moral code.

Naruto sees her as a kind of friend, suspects she doesn't like him

Risa Momioka (The Flirty Student)

Risa's back story is yet to be explained.

Has a crush on Naruto due to his well-built body

Naruto sees her as something like a friend although her forward nature worries him

Nurse Mikado (The Sexy Nurse)

Mikado's back story is yet to be explained.

Is interested in Naruto's strange physical prowess for a human.

Naruto is absolutely terrified of Mikado's teasing.

**Others **

Rito Yuuki (The Original Protagonist)

Is worried that Haruna has feelings for Naruto. Also slightly intimidated by Naruto's physical stature.

Naruto is annoyed by him and Haruna unable to confess to each other

Haruna Sarenji (The Childhood Friend)

Is a good childhood friend of Naruto

As his first true friend, Naruto has a good relationship with Haruna.

Zastin (The Knight)

Respects Naruto's strength and drive to protect those he loves.

Naruto doesn't know what to make of the strange knight. While Naruto respects his skills he can't help but wonder if the Devilukian knight was repeatedly dropped on his head as a child.

Gid Deviluke (The Emperor of the Milky Way )

Sees Naruto as a potential successor. He believes that he has the potential to surpass even him but requires some good old fashioned mortal peril to bring out his best.

Naruto believes Gid is a bad father and all round jack ass.

Kenichi Saruyama (The Perverted Monkey)

Believes the rumours that Naruto is a harem master and respects him

Naruto believes Kenichi is a harmless idiot and actually gets along reasonably well him

The Principal (The Thing)

Envious of Naruto's reputation as a Harem Master. Respects him greatly and refers to him as Uzumaki-dono

Naruto wonders how the hell this guy was made principle. Avoids him as much as possible.


	3. Chapter 3: Memories and Close Calls

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Hello everybody! Welcome to a sparkly new chapter. In it we meet the first set of assassins after Naruto's life and also a bit of back story involving Haruna and Naruto and some general plot development. A fair few dreams and flash backs. This is a slightly more serious chapter than the others. Just so you know

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love Ru

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Memories and a brush with death<p>

There was a steady beeping noise as the life support machine kept a small blonde boy alive. Beside his bed a red haired woman with a tear streaked face sat muttering feverous prayers for the young boy's life.

The curtains separating the bed from the rest of the hospital opened and a young doctor walked through.

"I'm sorry," A doctor glanced at Kushina who was sat staring at the still form of a young Naruto. His chest wasn't moving and he was covered in bandages. "We did everything we could but the damage is too severe."

"Please," Kushina grasped Naruto's hand. It was cold. "There must be something…"

"I'm sorry," The doctor repeated before glancing at his watch. "I am afraid his birth mother has declared she has no interest in paying for his life support."

"But…" Kushina shook her head. "I'll pay! I'll find the money somehow! I lost Mito and Minato… please don't take Naruto as well!"

"I'm sorry," The doctor repeated as another red haired woman walked into the room. She was taller than Kushina and had blood red eyes as well as strange tribal markings on her face, like six thick lines that ran across her cheeks.

"Nighty night Naru-chan," The woman smirked as she turned off the life support.

"NO!" Kushina surged upright glancing around. She was in her room. The clock next to her bed showed it was 2 AM.

"Oh," Kushina took a deep breath, "It was just a dream…" She clambered out of her room, staggering towards Naruto's door and opened it. He was sleeping peacefully with Lala curled up next to him. "He's okay… it was just a dream." Kushina climbed into bed next to her adopted son and watched his smiling face until she too fell back to sleep and had much more pleasant dreams involving her and Naruto. A pink blush spread across her face and she started drooling.

Naruto opened an eye and saw she was asleep before settling down again. After all it was the same every night ever since they had moved into this house, just after the robbers had attacked. He stroked her hair as if comforting a young girl before sighing and going back to sleep.

* * *

><p>Morning was greeted with the usual lack of enthusiasm as Naruto stretched out, glancing at his clock. The time was 6 AM. Debating whether he should go back to sleep or not, he turned to see if Lala was still asleep and to his surprise found she wasn't in his bed.<p>

"Maybe she finally realised how wrong it was," Naruto mused before glancing at his giggling mother with a small smile. "Unlike some people."

He clambered out of his bed and got dressed rather quickly, making sure to leave his mother breakfast. He knocked on Lala's door only to get no response.

"Lala?" Naruto opened the door to find the guest room looking unlived in and empty. "Did she… leave?" Naruto paused. "Well I suppose it's for the best." Naruto smiled softly. "After all she was a princess and I'm…" Naruto caught his reflection in a mirror. "…me." He sighed, throwing his bag over his shoulder and left the house. He paused only to lock the door after him.

On his way to school he met up with Haruna as usual and the two walked in comfortable silence until Haruna decided to break it.

"Are you alright Uzumaki-san?" Haruna asked.

"Eh?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What makes you ask that?"

"Well it is just you seem a little sad."

"Ah," Naruto scratched his chin. "I'm just a little thoughtful this morning. We had a guest staying at our house and she has left."

"A guest?" Haruna looked interested. "Who was she?"

"She was…" Naruto paused. "Different shall we say. I only really spent a few days with her but I enjoyed them."

"I see." Haruna looked at something in the distance. "You like her?"

"Well I guess," Naruto nodded. "I mean when I first met her I had no idea how to handle her but she kind of grew on me… like mould."

"Your romantic similes could use some work Uzumaki-san," Haruna giggled.

"Romantic?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I said I liked her not that I loved her. I've barely know anything about her. Saying I have a romantic interest in her is a little premature at this point."

"I see," Haruna nodded. "So she was a good friend to you?"

"I guess…" Naruto scowled slightly. "More like I feel we could have been good friends if given the time."

"And not anything more?" Haruna asked.

"What are you trying to get at Sarenji-san?" Naruto crossed his arms.

"I am just interested in one of my best friend's love life." Haruna smiled softly. "I think it would be good for you to have a girlfriend."

"Tried that once," Naruto said pointedly.

"Ah," Haruna fell silent. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Naruto stared up at the sky, "I shouldn't have said that… I didn't get much sleep last night and it is unfair for me to take it out on you."

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna stared at the floor.

"Come on, chin up." Naruto ordered. "If anyone should feel sad about all that is should be me, right?"

"Right," Haruna glanced at her friend who was smiling kindly at her.

"Besides," Naruto smirked as he saw a familiar orange hair do in front of them. "Haruna-chan has someone she likes right?"

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna blushed at his informal use of her name, only get a playful laugh in return for her rebuke.

"Yo! Rito!" Naruto waved at the orange haired teen who turned to wave back but tripped over accidentally pulling down the skirt of a girl in front of him. "Uh oh," Naruto winced as the girl slapped Rito and ran away. "Should I feel guilty about that?" He wondered before noticing that Haruna had ran up to the boy and was looking after him. "I guess not." He muttered and continued to school, pausing only to tell Haruna and Rito to hurry up.

He walked at a brisk pace ignoring the feeling in his stomach which only intensified as he glanced at the Sakura tree that was on the school grounds. Legends said that if you confessed to the person you loved when the Sakura were blooming you were guaranteed a happy relationship with that person.

"I should sue for false advertising," Naruto remarked dryly as he continued into the school, walking through the hallways undisturbed and making it to his desk where he sat down and laid his head in his arms.

_The Sakura blossoms were falling all around him as Naruto gathered his courage. _

"_Say… Sarenji-san," Naruto fidgeted. "I really like you, you know?" _

"_And I like you, Uzumaki-san," Haruna smiled. "You are one of my closest friends." _

"_But you see… I kind of like you more that as a friend." Naruto could hear his heart thundering in his chest. "I was wondering if maybe… you'd like to go out on a date with me?" He looked at her hopefully. _

"_I'm sorry…" Haruna shook her head. "I… I'd rather us stay as friends." _

"_Ahaha," Naruto laughed. "No worries. Yeah I get it." He turned away so she couldn't see his face. "Oh well nothing ventured nothing gained. Is there… someone else?" _

_Haruna's blush was a dead giveaway. _

"_Man, what a lucky guy." Naruto stared at the sky. "Well… I guess I should cheer you on right? After all… that's what friends are for." _

"_Thank you, Uzumaki-san." Haruna smiled softly. "I can understand though if you don't want to be my friend anymore."_

"_I was about to say the same to you," Naruto remarked. "I mean I don't exactly have many friends but I guess I kind of killed this friendship huh?" _

"_No!" Haruna shook her head, "I mean I know it might be awkward but you are one of my closest friends I don't want to lose you as a friend." _

"_Let's put all this behind us then." Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Let's pretend I never asked." _

"_Are you sure?" Haruna asked. _

"_Yeah." Naruto smirked, "After all second place is better than not finishing. I'd rather be a good friend than have nothing to do with you." _

"_Thank you, Naruto-kun." Haruna smiled. _

"That was the only time she ever referred to me so informally." Naruto muttered into his arms as the class gathered. He could feel Haruna glancing at him every so often. _'Second place is better than not finishing huh? Man I am a terrible liar. Oh well best smile for the audience.' _Naruto sat up and wore his usual confident smirk as he stared at the teacher who was talking about something about a new student.

Haruna frowned slightly but made no comment. She and Naruto had been friends for years and she could tell when he was faking a smile just to try and appease her. She felt stupid for probing into his love life considering she was the only girl he had ever asked out and she had flat out rejected him. It wasn't that she didn't find him attractive because she did. He was kind and helpful and usually that would be everything she could want in a boyfriend. However she couldn't accept Naruto's confession. It hurt her that she couldn't tell him why. Besides she liked Yuuki-kun and she couldn't have both. That would be unfair on Naruto and Rito.

"And today we have an exchange student joining us." The teacher called out.

"Maybe it's a hot girl," Kenichi Saruyama rubbed his hands together. "Another for your harem master?"

"What harem?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I don't even have a single girlfriend, never mind a harem!"

"Wow she is beautiful," Kenichi was distracted as a familiar pink haired alien entered the room.

"Ah… crap." Naruto suddenly wished he wasn't here. _'Please don't make a scene!' _He mentally prayed. Fun fact. The gods of this universe _love_ screwing Naruto over.

"Hi I'm Lala Deviluke!" The princess waved happily.

"You are cute," One of the boys in the class cried out in joy. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Lala looked thoughtful (which actually caused some of the class to pass out from severe cute overdose) "I suppose I don't."

Naruto let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. _'Thank you Gods! If she started spouting that fiancé nonsense I don't know what would happen.' _

"I have a fiancé though," Lala beamed.

'_Son of a bitch! Please don't let her say it's me!' _Naruto wailed internally whilst remaining calm and collected on the outside.

"Say it isn't so!" Kenichi cried. "Master, she has already been claimed!"

"Master?" Lala's eyes fixed on Naruto and widened. She beamed at him. "Ah! Naruto! We are in the same class!"

"You know the Manliest Sage?" Kenichi paused. "And yet you have a fiancé?!"

"Manliest Sage?" Naruto deadpanned. "Is that how you see me?"

"What a cool title!" Lala beamed.

"Gah," Naruto blushed and looked away.

"You see," Lala smiled bashfully. "I was in trouble as my father sent people to capture me and force me to marry someone I didn't love."

"That monster!" Kenichi cried. "Did the Mighty Man Sage defeat him?"

"Am I some sort of action hero now?" Naruto sighed heavily.

"Naruto-kun defeated his most elite henchman and told papa to leave me alone or Naruto would make him pay! And Papa agreed!"

There was a cheer from the class.

"As expected of the Manliest Action Sage!" Kenichi nodded.

"Pick a title and stick with it!" Naruto sighed.

"I wish I could see you fight that guy," Risa pouted. "I can see it now. You topless, sweat dripping off your brow as you stand victorious… oh come to me my blonde Adonis!" Risa dived at Naruto who held her at arm's length as she flailed her arms ineffectually.

"Down Risa!" Naruto chopped her on the head softly with his spare hand causing the girl to fall to her knees.

"If you like it rough," Risa adjusted her shirt to reveal some cleavage. "I'm willing to play _master._" She purred.

"Risa-san!" Haruna blushed crimson while Naruto looked away uneasily. Rito was trying to stop a nose bleed along with the majority of the class.

"Back to the story please," Kenichi cleared his throat.

"Why are you so interested?" Naruto wondered as Lala continued her story.

"Afterwards I was so grateful to Naruto-kun that I… I decided I would marry him!"

"Wait a second…" Kenichi staggered backwards. "Then your fiancé is…" He looked at Naruto. "Say it isn't so master! Please tell me you haven't decided to give up your harem and become a one woman man?!"

"Okay, first things first." Naruto stood up with the class staring at him. "We are not actually engaged."

"Yet," Lala cut in.

"Second thing," Naruto ignored Lala's interruption. "I do not have a harem. I wouldn't even know what to do if I did have one!"

"I could offer suggestions," Risa smirked.

"Bad girl," Naruto pointed at Risa.

"I've been so _very _naughty," Risa leaned towards Naruto, "Are you going to punish me?"

"I give up," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "So does that clear everything up?"

"So what you are saying is that Lala is madly in love with you but you are just playing with her heart?" A female student asked coldly.

"What? No!" Naruto shook his head. "I already told her that I don't think that marriage is a good idea!"

"Why don't you want to marry her?" Another girl asked. "Don't you find her attractive?"

"Well she is attractive but…" Naruto started.

"So there is someone else?" Another class mate called out.

"Well no but…" Naruto turned to face the speaker.

"Hang on, doesn't Uzumaki-san hang around a lot with Sarenji-san?" A male classmate called out.

"Hey, leave Sarenji-san out of this," Naruto scowled. "Stop saying things that could lead to false rumours being started!"

"Awfully defensive of her aren't you?" Another male mocked him.

"Seriously…" Naruto cracked his knuckles. "You are starting to piss me off."

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna shook her head, "Please don't start a fight."

"Tch," Naruto took a deep breath and released it. "Fine… No there isn't anyone else."

"It doesn't matter if there is," Lala declared. "I love Naruto-kun and even if I have to share him I don't care so long as I am with him."

There was a deathly silence as the class turned to face Naruto. The girls (with the exception of Risa who looked stunned and Haruna who was looking worried) squealed at this declaration of love. The men were all whispering that he was a lucky bastard who didn't deserve such good fortune.

"I was wrong…" Kenichi whispered. "As expected of the Ultimate Manly Sage… His wife is his Harem Queen to aid him in his manly quests rather than to force him into monogamy! Forgive me for doubting you oh Manliest of Action Sages!"

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna turned to her friend who had his head in his arms again.

"It is far too early for me to deal with this." He sighed and banged his head on his desk.

"There, there." Haruna rubbed the back of his head whilst the classroom erupted into chaos.

* * *

><p>Naruto just left Lala to the girls. With any luck she might make some friends who could teach her how people acted in Japan. Naruto had more pressing issues. He pulled out his phone and tried not to be depressed about the few contacts he had: His mother, Sarenji, His House, Sarenji's house, the local takeaway and finally the school's number. Selecting his mother he pressed dial and waited patiently.<p>

"Hello Naru-chan!" His mother's cheerful voice sounded through the phone.

"Hey," Naruto sighed, "Did you sign Lala's permission form to join this school?"

"Yeah," Kushina chuckled, "She really wanted to go. How'd she take it?"

"She has been in my class less than half a day and already my normal school life is in danger of collapsing."

"Wait! She got in? How'd she pass the interview?!"

"You have met our principal right? That perverted creature? He probably passed her the moment her saw her!"

"Oh…" Kushina's voice sounded annoyed, "I forgot about that. I was hoping she would have been turned down."

"Why?"

"Because she would have taken it as a sign that you and she weren't destined to be!" Kushina declared. "Why would I help her try and steal you away from me?"

"I won't pretend to understand how you think," Naruto sighed heavily.

"Well there is only one thing for it," Kushina chuckled evilly.

"I have a feeling if you assassinate Lala her father will destroy this planet," Naruto remarked.

"Who said I was planning to kill her? If she can get into that school… then so can I!"

"Mom… don't." Naruto scowled. "My student life is already been heavily damaged. If you come and start acting all lovey dovey then there will be no chance of me having a normal life at all! I only hope this all blows over quickly."

"I would think your normal school life was doomed from the start seeing as you act and look like a delinquent." Kushina stated bluntly before chuckling sinisterly, "Well I can always home school you," Kushina giggled perversely. "I can already see our first lesson."

"I am hanging up now." Naruto deadpanned.

"Anatomy 101: How babies are made," Kushina started breathing heavily, "And I am _very_ fond of practical sessions."

Naruto hung up and put his phone away before walking onto the school football field.

"Strange," He thought looking around. "This area is usually packed at this time. Where is everybody?"

"Target Acquired." A robotic voice called out.

"Who's there?" Naruto span around trying to discover the source of the noise. "What the hell?"

A laser blast seemed to appear from nowhere and narrowly missed Naruto.

"Show yourself damn it!" Naruto dodged the blasts that seemed to come from every direction.

"Sorry but that's against my style!" A male voice declared boisterously.

"Who are you?!" Naruto growled.

"I am the Galactic Puppeteer!" The voice declared, "Kankuro the almighty!"

There was a snort of laughter that didn't come from Naruto.

"What?" The male voice growled.

"Oh don't mind me," A female voice mocked, "_Almighty_ brother."

"Temari I swear I will kick your ass!"

"You and what army?"

"Er…" Naruto cleared his throat. "I'd hate to interrupt but can I ask what the hell is going on here?"

"Oh right," Kankuro cleared his throat, "I am a prince of the Sand planet known as Suna! I am here to kill you and take Lala Deviluke's hand in marriage."

"Because this is the only way a girl would even look at him." Temari added.

"Sister!"

"What? You know it's true. Maybe if you didn't play with dolls and wear make-up…"

"They are not dolls they are combat puppets! And it is war paint, WAR PAINT DAMN IT!"

Naruto scowled as he focused his senses. On the edge of his hearing was some sort of whirring noise. Picking up a stone Naruto hurled it as hard as he could. The stone struck something with a metallic clang before bouncing off.

"Hey watch it jack ass!" Kankuro yelled. "You scratch the paintwork!"

"Oh I'm sorry." Naruto shot back voice dripping with sarcasm, "I hope I didn't damage your invisible killer robot army."

Naruto leapt backwards as the salvo of laser blasts started all over again. While Naruto's reflexes allowed him to dodge the worst of the attacks, his clothes were getting singed from far too many close calls and he was starting to tire. The voices of the two siblings seemed to be coming from speakers on each of the drones so there was no telling where they actually were.

"Hey, this guy can move," Temari noted. "How long do you think he will last?"

"Not much longer," Kankuro proudly declared. "No one can survive my Puppet Onslaught!"

Naruto panted heavily as he dodged another barrage before losing his footing and falling over.

"And now the finishing blow!" Kankuro cackled.

Suddenly a heavy downpour of rain started. Naruto scowled at the weather. The muddy field would greatly limit his ability to dodge although as he struggled to his feet he could now see the robots that had been attacking him. The rain appeared to short out the optical camouflage they had been using. They were small spherical drones like giant floating eyeballs with a red iris. Two small cannons seemed to be mounted on either side of the eyeball which Naruto assumed had been responsible for the laser attacks.

"What is this? Magic?!" Kankuro panicked as the rain water caused his puppets to explode.

"Amazing…" Temari whispered. "He has power over water! He can make it fall from the sky! He can summon the great cleansing fall!"

"Er… sure let's go with that," Naruto panted.

"Tch…" Kankuro growled. "My precious puppets!"

"Leave them!" Temari ordered. "This changes everything! We must report to her!"

"But…"

"If he can control water he can save our planet!"

"Fine!" Kankuro remarked as the two left.

"Well… I guess I technically won that fight," Naruto walked over to the sparking piles of alien technology with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "This is pretty amazing stuff. There is no sign of any propulsion unit and these weapons are quite high tech. Admittedly it appears that they aren't waterproof if rain is enough to finish them off… maybe Lala can explain what the hell just happened." Naruto scavenged a few of the drones (Which were surprisingly light) and made his way back to the class.

A small group of five thugs stood and watched him leave. They had watched the entire fight hidden from view and were currently milling around trying to decide whether they should try and attack him now he seemed tired. Each one was hoping one of the others could come up with a good reason not to attack.

"Bro… did you see that?" One of the track suited hooligans turned to his fellow Panthers. "There were like lasers and stuff!"

"Yeah," The leader was called Sharp Foot Soma and had already received a beating from Naruto and wasn't too eager to repeat the beating but as one of the highest ranking delinquents he had no choice. If he backed down he would lose his position.

"Should we still go after him?"

"We have no choice! He slighted the Panthers!" The leader charged after Naruto who had his back to them but as soon as they ran past the remaining broken drones, they exploded sending the panthers soaring into the air leaving Naruto completely oblivious to the wannabe gangsters' presence.

"Damn you Uzumaki!" Soma cried as he soared through the air. He would eventually crash through a window and land a female only bath… when it was the local Anti-Pervert Mixed Martial Arts group bathing day. Being blown up was going to be the _least _painful thing to happen to Soma and his cronies today.

* * *

><p>"Damn, missed dinner." Naruto groaned as he walked up to the classroom. He was soaked from the rain and had hidden the drone parts in his locker until he could get Lala to have a look at them. It seemed as if the ones he left behind had exploded due to the severe soaking they had received so Naruto made sure that the parts were wrapped up in towels.<p>

"And I just know Yui will make what happened to the field my fault," Naruto remarked tiredly.

As he entered his classroom everyone glanced at him but that was about it. Naruto coming in absolutely soaked and looking worse for wear was barely worth a second glance. They just assumed he had been fighting delinquents again.

"Ah Uzumaki-san." Haruna smiled at Naruto who sat at his desk next to hers. "Lala explained how she is from a different country and you are looking after to her."

"Huh?" Naruto turned to her. "Oh yeah I guess that is true."

"She explained to everyone that you were teaching her the local customs and that she still has much to learn so you thought that she should visit school to learn more." Haruna continued. "She seems quite a nice girl."

"Yeah… she has her moments," Naruto agreed.

"She is a very honest girl," Haruna looked sad, "I wish I could be as open as her."

"Man," Naruto sighed. "Lala is Lala and Haruna is Haruna, if you were Lala then you wouldn't be Haruna. Your shy nature is one of your cute aspects."

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna blushed.

"I'm sure Rito agrees with me," Naruto turned to face the orange haired youth who was sat at his desk behind Naruto's.

"AH… I mean… Sarenji-san is cute… I mean her shyness is cute…" Rito blushed and started twiddling his fingers.

"Hey do I have any cute aspects?" Risa asked as she the conversation.

"Er…" Naruto scratched his chin, "I suppose you are quite energetic. That's kind of cute… if you like that sort of thing I suppose."

"Ah," Risa smiled, "Do you like that kind of girl?"

"Er…" Naruto glanced around at the others for a clue on what to say. Unfortunately his only ally was Kenichi who was giving him a thumbs up. "I suppose I don't _dislike_ girls like that."

Risa's response was cut off by a cheerful Lala as she walked into the room and made a beeline straight for Naruto.

"Ah Naruto-kun!" Lala beamed as she ran over to the blonde and hugged his arm before crying out in alarm, "You are soaking wet! And you smell like you've been near a fire."

"I got caught in that downpour and took shelter in the incinerator room," Naruto cleared his throat, "Say I need to show you something, will you come with me after the class?" Naruto asked not noticing Haruna's shocked look and the squeals of the female students who had followed Lala to 'cheer her on' in winning Naruto's heart.

"Of course," Lala beamed, "Oh before I forget… here!" She handed him some curry bread. "Haruna-chan said it was your favourite so I figured I'd get one for you and one for me to try!"

"Thanks," Naruto smiled warmly, "Where did you get the money though?"

"The kind lady at the store gave me them for free," Lala beamed.

"Well… that is good," Naruto smiled as he bit into his bread. "Thanks Lala."

"Just seeing you smile is all the thanks I need," Lala admitted.

"Gah," Naruto looked away fighting down a blush, "How can you say something like that with a straight face."

"Because it is my honest feelings," Lala smiled softly. "If I can't be honest to the one I love who can I be honest with?"

"It's not that easy though," Haruna interrupted. "Sometimes when it comes to the people you love it is hardest to tell them how you feel."

"I've never had that problem. I mean even if you are turned down, isn't it better to know rather than carry on secretly pining over somebody?" Lala asked. "If it's meant to be then you have nothing to worry about!"

"I turned you down repeatedly but it hasn't changed your attempts." Naruto remarked dryly.

"Well if you really love someone you just have to keep trying!" Lala looked fired up. "If you give in then what does that say about the strength of your feelings?" She noticed how Haruna glanced at Naruto who looked uncomfortable at that question. Unfortunately Rito also noticed the glance and looked concerned.

'_Did Haruna-chan confess to Naruto?" _Lala and Rito shared the same thought.

"Anyway," Naruto cleared his throat, "I'll see you after class then Lala."

"Hai!" Lala saluted him before pausing to look towards a sudden disturbance as Yui practically wrenched the classroom door off of its hinges locked on to Naruto with a fierce glare.

"Uh oh," Naruto remarked.

"UZUMAKI-SAN!" Yui Kotegawa stormed towards him.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Naruto yelled before fleeing from the furious girl… out of the window.

"IF YOU DIDN'T DO IT WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?!" She yelled out of the window before racing out of the classroom and down the stairs in pursuit.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE CHASING ME!"

"What… just happened?" Lala blinked.

"Ah… that is the Manliest Sage's current conquest," Kenichi nodded wisely. "Yui Kotegawa, she is always finding some reason to try and get some time alone with him."

"I see…" Lala frowned slightly.

"THERE IS NO SMOKING ON THE SCHOOL GROUNDS!" Yui's voice could be heard clearly despite the fact both her and her target were several floors below.

"I DON'T SMOKE!"

"I CAN SMELL THE SMOKE ON YOU AND THERE ARE BURN MARKS ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD!"

"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SMELL ME FROM ALL THE WAY BACK THERE?! AND I… I CAN EXPLAIN THAT!"

"HOW?"

"I GOT ATTACKED BY AN ARMY OF LASER FIRING ROBOTS!"

"TELLING SUCH OBVIOUS LIES! YOU ARE SEVERLY LACKING IN MORALS!"

"They are really loud," Rito remarked with a chuckle as the teacher entered the classroom.

"Uzumaki-san is always quite lively," Haruna smiled softly. "It is one of his good points."

Rito scowled as he heard Haruna's words and was struck with an epiphany.

'_If I am to win Haruna-chan's affections I must be more like Naruto!' _Rito clenched a fist and made a vow to himself. He would become a man worthy of Haruna-chan! But first he would need some advice from Naruto.

* * *

><p>Kushina yawned as she sat at the dinner table with a cup of tea. She was going through an old family album of the trips she and Naruto had been on since his father's accident. It was strange, Kushina mused to herself, when she had first met Minato she was sure that he was the one. Yet now she could barely even remember what his favourite colour was or even what his voice sounded like. Come to think of it there were quite a few gaps in her memory regarding Minato. Shaking her head she drained her cup of tea and turned over the page in her album.<p>

She smiled as she saw a picture of their old house where they lived with Minato. It was out in the suburbs and was quite a large house, but after the robbery there was no way Kushina could sleep in that place so they left when Naruto was out of the hospital. Going through the pictures again she found one showed the young Naruto playing in their old backyard. He must have been around six years old.

"But we left that house after the attack when Naruto was five…." Kushina scowled and grabbed some other photo albums. There was Naruto's six birthday which was at the old house. "That can't be right…" Kushina scowled as she started to look through the albums and saw that one of the pictures had all Naruto, Minato and Kushina at Naruto's sixth birthday party.

"But…" Kushina felt a deep pain in her skull. "Minato couldn't have been there!" Furiously she charged towards the attic and went through the boxes where she stored all the old family heirlooms and mementoes. One was a framed picture of her, Naruto and Minato. But what worried her the most was the fact she looked pregnant in that picture. "What is going on?"

Suddenly the pain in her head became unbearable and she passed out.

_There was so much blood. She looked around desperate to find Minato or Naruto. She was clambered over the broken timbers that were once her home searching amongst the ruins for any sign of her two special men._

"_Where are you?" She called out. "Naruto! Minato!" She placed a head on her swollen stomach. _

"_I'm afraid they are beyond your reach." A woman with fierce red hair and a strange devil like tail grinned at her as she stepped out of the destroyed ruins of Kushina's old home. She wore a black outfit with futuristic armour plating and black gauntlets that had blood dripping from them. "They are in a… what is it you humans say… a 'better place?' Unfortunately whores like you go straight to hell. When you get there… tell them Kurama sent you!" She charged at Kushina and was about to strike her when… _

"Gah!" Kushina snapped awake. "What… what was I doing?" Kushina glanced at the photo album before her. "Must have drifted off." She glanced at the photo album "Ah must have seen a cute picture of Naru-chan and got lost in my imagination." Kushina sighed contently before closing the album and walking away. If she had paid close attention she might have noticed a tiny rip along the album's bindings suggesting that some pages had been torn from the book.

* * *

><p>Naruto and Lala wandered over to his locker discussing the current situation as they walked. As Naruto and Lala had to clean the classroom, everyone else had long since left.<p>

"Hmm…" Lala scowled. "I was hoping that when I announced you as my fiancé the other suitors would stop. It appears Papa told them if they could kill you then they become the official suitor." She pouted angrily. "I should have known Papa wouldn't just sit back and let me be happy."

"So I should expect more of these aliens?" Naruto crossed his arms. "But how can I fight them? They are using advanced technology and I doubt they'd be nice enough to let me punch them. Hell even if I could hit them remember when I punched your body guards? I barely bruised their skin and nearly broke my own wrist!"

"But what about that blue glowing thing you did against Zastin?"

"Blue glowing thing?" Naruto blinked. "I remember feeling a surge of energy but I don't remember glowing."

"It was cool!" Lala's eyes had stars in them as she threw punches and made whooshing sound effects. "You were like Whoosh! And then Zastin flew backwards!"

"Then I passed out," Naruto sighed. "That still counts as my victory right? He passed out first. My undefeated run continues?"

"Er…" Lala decided not to tell him Zastin had been injured but still able to fight until a berserk Kushina wielding the two other body guards as improvised clubs had proceeded to deliver a smack down of such epic proportions that he now had Vietnam style flashbacks whenever he saw someone wearing a suit. "Sure."

"Good," Naruto let out a sigh of relief. "But you said I was glowing blue at the time?"

"That's right." Lala nodded.

"Hmm…" Naruto stroked his chin. "There was also the fight with those panthers when one pulled out a gun when I felt lighter and was able to catch a bullet in my hand… maybe that was the same strange power…"

"Maybe it only happens when you are in danger!" Lala clapped her hands.

"Possibly… although it didn't trigger when this puppeteer assassin used some sort of laser drone army to try and kill me. Maybe I need to be badly wounded. We should test this out!"

"Puppeteer?" Lala sighed, "Sounds like he was from the planet Suna. They call their robot commanders puppeteers. There planet only has a few oasis and as such can grow little food. Once every hundred years they have a massive storm that creates new oases that allows them to live but from what I heard they haven't had the storm and it is fifty years overdue. They are in dire straits. Papa is said to be able to cause a storm just by being in a bad mood but he doesn't like the Sunese (that is to say the race that inhabits Suna) as they supported his rival when he fought to be the ruler of the galaxy."

"So he would let them die?" Naruto scowled.

"He probably doesn't even know they are in desperate trouble," Lala admitted. "He does rule the entire galaxy. He has many threats that he has to deal with and those of Suna are a proud race and won't ask for help. They could leave their home planet but they very rarely take to space. They believe that they were born to stay on the planet and so they shall. News from there is very sporadic and I only know because I use Suna techniques on some of my inventions. They are talented robot makers."

"I see," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "Couldn't you invent a storm machine or something for them?"

"Many have tried but the machines just don't work on Suna. There are those who believe it is an ancient curse due to the new leader of the wandering tribes being a woman." Lala scowled.

"You said you studied their techniques?" Naruto turned to the pink haired alien.

"Hai," Lala beamed. "They have really interesting ideas when it comes to control circuits. They embed transmitters in their fingers so it is like they are controlling puppets when they order their robots to attack!"

"Could you think of a way to counter them?"

"Use water?" Lala suggested. "Seeing as it very rarely rains on their planet (once every hundred years if you were listening) most of their robots aren't water proof."

"I noticed, when it rained the rain wiped out his entire drone force." Naruto shook his head. "I doubt that will work twice."

"Er… get really strong?" Lala offered.

"So we are back to the glowing blue thing huh?" Naruto opened his locker revealing the broken drones.

"Ooh." Lala's eyes seem to sparkle. "This aren't cheap models. I'm guessing that whoever sent them after you was quiet high in the Suna hierarchy."

"He did say he was a prince," Naruto nodded.

"I see," Lala looked thoughtful. "That would probably be Kankuro then. I met him once. I thought he was an ugly girl because he wore so much makeup."

"Yeah, I think he called Kankuro and his sister mentioned something about make-up." Naruto nodded. "So are there many people like him who will be out to kill me then?"

"Probably," Lala admitted, "I am the heir to the Empire that rules over most of the galaxy."

"Must have been tough," Naruto remarked.

"Yes," Lala looked sad, "I was always being rushed from planet to planet in order to meet marriage candidates. All of them only want the power and prestige of marrying me."

"If you marry someone it should be for love and love alone," Naruto shook his head.

"Right," Lala smiled warmly at him. "That's one of the things I love most about you."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"You always know just what to say."

"Was there really no candidates that you actually liked?" Naruto asked.

"Why?"

"I was just wondering. If there was someone and the only reason you couldn't be with him is because he wasn't approved by your father," Naruto turned to Lala, "I would fight him for your right to marry the man you want."

"Don't be silly," Lala shook her head. "I've told you Papa has given me permission to marry the man I love, to marry you."

"But as your husband it would be my duty to protect you," Naruto countered. "I can't even protect myself from the dangers of the galaxy. What odds do I have of protecting you?"

"Don't worry about that! I have the perfect training arena for you!" Lala clapped her hands together. "But I have a question to ask if you don't mind."

"Sure," Naruto shrugged.

"Is there a history between you and Haruna-chan?" Lala asked.

"You could say that," Naruto sighed and stared out of the school's entrance at the furious downpour. "She is one of my closest friends. We have almost always been in the same class together."

"I see," Lala followed his gaze.

"It was on a day like this we first met," Naruto reminisced. "We were both running home in the rain and bumped into each other. She twisted her ankle and I carried her back to her house, making sure that the umbrella I had was covering her. As a result I got a cold but we became friends. Originally she was too shy to really speak to me, but I thought it was because I look like a delinquent. When I told her that she looked shocked. She told me she couldn't understand how anyone thought I was a delinquent when I had such a kind nature. I… I guess I slowly start to fall in love with her over the years. I confessed to her last year but she turned me down. She likes… someone else." Naruto finished lamely.

"And you gave up?" Lala asked.

"I didn't want to risk our friendship by pursuing her romantically. Especially when I knew she liked someone else. So long as she is happy then I will be too." Naruto finished wistfully.

"Naruto-kun," Lala leaned forwards. "If you can't convince yourself of that how can you convince me?"

"If I keep saying it enough maybe I'll start to believe it. If she gets the guy she wants… then maybe I'll finally accept that it isn't going to happen." Naruto closed his eyes.

"Do you think I should do the same then?" Lala asked softly.

"Huh?"

"Do you think I should give up trying to win your heart?" Lala looked at the floor. "That I should help you get together with Haruna-chan so you can be happy."

"That depends, would my answer actually stop you from trying to make me fall in love with you?"

"Of course not!"

"Heh," Naruto smiled warmly, "I figured you'd say that. In that case what does it matter what I think? Didn't you declare you were going to change my mind? To make me fall in love with you?"

"Yes!" Lala smiled back.

"Who knows?" Naruto pulled out an umbrella. "They say that the Sakura confession tree will ensure you will have a happy relationship with the person you love if you confess under it when it is blooming. Maybe it didn't work with me and Haruna because I didn't actually love her. Maybe it's just because she was the closest female friend I had that I thought I loved her."

"Does it hurt when you think of her not loving you back?"

"How'd we get to this from people trying to kill me?" Naruto deflected the question and raised his umbrella. "Do you not have an umbrella?"

"Ahahah," Lala laughed weakly. "I guess I forgot it."

"Fine," Naruto smiled softly. "Just this once you can share mine."

"Okay!" Lala hugged Naruto's arm and snuggled closer to him under the umbrella.

"Hey! I didn't say you could get so close." Naruto grumbled as the two made their way home.


	4. Chapter 4: Training

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Double Chapter! This is a lighter hearted chapter… kind of. This chapter goes into Risa's backstory a little and Naruto meets Mikan. I've changed the Poll on my profile to see just what characters people want to see in the harem in this story. I've pretty much put every girl with a considerable part in the show on the list to see what people want. I haven't added the Naruto characters who will be appearing (although two have been shown and it doesn't take a genius to work out who the third one is especially when I say many Naruto characters will be genderbending as it were but not neccesary being part of the harem. If anything it would be more like the Naruto movies where for example Shion basically asks Naruto to father her children but is never heard of again except they will show up every now and again but won't really be focused on). There are a few characters who will recieve story time irregardless of the poll results (Lala is kind of relevant to the plot, at least until either Momo or Nana shows up I guess and seeing as Naruto lives with her she's bound to show up regularly. Same with Kushina.)

EDIT: Seeing as a reviewer seemed particularly annoyed about the story summaries I have removed them.

At the moment there is no set limit to the number of girls who will be interested in Naruto but obviously I will be focusing on those most important to the plot but I am curious as to which characters people actually like.

Disclaimer: See previous chapters

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: Training<p>

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the orange haired youth stood before him. He was stood in the classroom which had gone terribly quiet all of a sudden. No sooner had he come in from dinner than Rito had walked up to him and asked him to meet him on the roof after school.

"May I ask why?" Naruto finally decided to respond.

"This is something I need to do as a man." Rito answered.

"I see…" Naruto closed his eyes. '_He probably thinks I am too close to Haruna and I am an obstacle he must overcome. Although to challenge me to a fight is a little extreme. He must know he can't beat me.' _"If you are sure then I guess it would be an insult not to show up."

"Right," Rito let out a sigh. _'I wasn't expecting him to agree to meet up.' _

The other classmates glanced at each other and started muttering as the two males returned to their seats.

"You think Yuuki-kun is going to fight for Haruna-chan?" One female student whispered.

"Yuuki fight against Uzumaki?" A male student answered, "That'd be a slaughter."

"What if Yuuki is a secret martial artist?" Another male cut in, "That'd explain why he thinks he has a chance at winning."

"What if it isn't about winning?" The girl wondered, "What if he wants to show Haruna-chan that Uzumaki-san is just a violent thug?"

Before the conversation could continue the teacher entered the room and looked around.

"Where are Sarenji-san and Deviluke-san?" He asked.

"Here sensei!" Lala cried as she burst into the room, Haruna closely following her. "Haruna-chan was just showing me around the school!"

"I see," The teacher waited for them to get seated before he began his droning lecture on history which Naruto tuned out with expert ease. He was currently trying to figure out what was the best way to deal with Yuuki. If the boy felt he had to prove he was a man to earn Haruna's love he was going the wrong way about it. If anything Haruna would probably dislike the fact Rito had picked a fight with him for no reason. '_Or would she blame me for accepting the fight and take Yuuki's side? But if that's the case wouldn't that make things easier for me…' _Naruto shook his head.

Lala was sat taking notes and occasionally stealing glances at Naruto. Despite her best attempts she was unable to get a seat next to Naruto and was in fact at the back of the class next to Kenichi, Naruto's self-declared apprentice in the Manly Sage arts. Lala didn't quite understand what that meant but the boy seemed a good sort, if a little perverted. He was also more than willing to help out Lala as she was 'his master's waifu'. Currently though Lala was trying to work out a plan of attack. It was clear that Haruna was a road block in her plans. Naruto seemed reluctant to return her feelings because of a lingering attachment to Haruna, which was unrequited if you asked Naruto but Lala wasn't so sure. She was also sure that rejecting the confession should have made their friendship awkward but it seemed to have very little effect. Lala pouted cutely as she drew a diagram in her work book. At the centre was a bubble with a chibi Naruto in it. She drew a chibi version of herself and a single headed arrow pointing at the chibi Naruto from her. Then she drew a chibi Yui and a single headed arrow pointing at Naruto with a question mark over it. She also drew a chibi Risa with another single headed arrow pointing at Naruto with a question mark. Finally she drew a chibi Kushina with the same arrow but no question mark. There was no doubt in Lala's mind that the love Kushina had for Naruto was not motherly (Not that Kushina tried to hide that).

Satisfied with her diagram so far, Lala added a Haruna drawing and a double headed arrow between Naruto and Haruna with a question mark over the top of it. From what Naruto had told her Haruna and Rito liked each other but were finding it hard to confess to one another. She drew a double headed arrow between Haruna and the newly drawn Rito chibi.

"How to solve this problem," Lala chewed the end of the pencil she was holding. "I wish Momo were here. She is far better than I am at dealing with these sorts of problems." Her younger sister was strangely gifted when it came to achieving harem ends on dating Sims, an ability Lala never really cared for but all of a sudden it seemed like it could be a very useful power to have.

While Lala was debating how to get Naruto to love her, Risa was having her own internal debate. She was no fool and could tell there was something a little odd with Lala and it was nagging her. Her story made sense (she knew for a fact Naruto would have reacted how Lala said) but there was something about the girl that just unnerved Risa. She shook her head and decided to partake in her favourite hobby of Naruto watching. Currently he was staring into space with those passionate blue eyes. Oh how Risa wished she knew what he was thinking. She had originally met Naruto through Haruna and they had got along famously. She must have been about eight years old when she was playing at Haruna's house and Naruto had visited. They had played hide and seek until it got dark and Naruto had gone home. Haruna had told her stories about Naruto and the more she heard the more she liked the blonde haired boy.

It wasn't just Haruna who had tales of the blonde's bravery. There probably wasn't a soul in the school who hadn't seen Naruto doing something heroic (although most of the students would say he was just fighting because he's a delinquent and that's what they do). She had once asked him why he fought so much and if he cared that people thought he was a delinquent for getting into fights all the time.

"_People thought I was a delinquent anyway," A twelve year old Naruto remarked as stepped over the bodies of some bullies he had beaten up. "I'm doing it because I know its right. Someone has to protect those who can't protect themselves and that someone is me." _

"_But… why does it have to be you?" Risa asked._

"_It doesn't," Naruto admitted, "But if it wasn't me then it would be someone else getting into fights. I've spent my entire life being ostracised because people thought I looked like a delinquent. Nothing's changed but at least I know that I am helping people so I don't really care what other people think. So long as I can go to sleep at night happy with how I live my life, that's enough for me." _

"_Even though others disagree with your behaviour?" Risa asked. _

"_Bah," Naruto snorted, "So long as my precious people are on my side, that's all I need." _

"_Precious people?" Risa blinked. _

"_You know like your friends, family etc." Naruto rubbed his nose. _

"_I see…" Risa smiled at Naruto, "Say… are we friends?" _

"_I'm surprised you had to ask," Naruto looked hurt._

"_Hehe," Risa giggled at his pout. "Right, we're friends!" _

"_You bet we are!" Naruto grinned and gave her a thumbs up gesture. _

"_Man a thumbs up… how lame." Risa stuck her tongue out at Naruto._

"_Hey! Don't diss the classics!" Naruto laughed. "I'll tell Sarenji-san you are picking on me!" _

"_Not if I tell her you were picking on me first!" Risa joined in the laugh as the two ran towards Haruna's house. _

Risa smiled to herself. She had many of these precious little moments with just her and Naruto. Originally her parents forced her to wear dresses and be sensible but she wasn't happy about it. Naruto picked up on this and actually lectured her parents on how it was a parent's sacred duty to ensure the happiness of their children and that forcing Risa to be someone she wasn't was only hurting them all. This was the first moment when her friendship with him started to evolve into something more. Over the next few weeks, it was the boundless support he offered her that made her fall in love with him. At one point she and Haruna had actually argued over Naruto, she felt Haruna was leading him on whereas Haruna felt Risa was monopolising the time spent playing with him. It had nearly ruined their friendship and the only thing they had agreed on was that Naruto could never find out about their argument. If he knew that he almost caused them to stop being friends he would distance himself from the two in order to prevent ever coming between them again.

Risa turned her attention to Haruna who was listening to the lecture intently. Risa had always forgiven Haruna for their arguments but there was one moment where even to this day Risa could not forgive her friend. The worst part was neither Naruto nor Haruna knew it. After all they didn't know that Risa had witnessed the confession.

_Risa scowled as she finished cleaning the classroom and made her way out of the school. She saw Naruto and Haruna at the tree and smirked, planning to sneak up on them and surprise them. She hid next to the pair, just out of sight. _

"_And I like you, Uzumaki-san," Haruna smiled. "You are one of my closest friends." _

"_But you see… I kind of like you more that as a friend." Naruto's voice seemed to be breaking as he spoke. "I was wondering if maybe… you'd like to go out on a date with me?" He looked at her hopefully. _

_Risa felt her heart drop. She wanted to run away and just cry. It should be her that Naruto confessed to. What did Haruna have that she didn't?_

"_I'm sorry," Haruna shook her head. "I… I'd rather us stay as friends." _

_Risa almost cheered until Naruto looked away from Haruna and in her general direction. She saw him fight back tears before wearing a fake grin and laughing. _

"_Ahaha," Naruto laughed. "No worries. Yeah I get it."_

_The look on his face hurt Risa and she found herself hating Haruna for putting that look on his face. She swore that one day, she would make his so happy that this would be a distant memory for him. He would feel as happy when he was with her as she felt when she was with him.  
><em>

At least that was her plan at the time. Her attempts to win Naruto over hadn't met with much success. She had tried subtle. She had tried blatant. It was as if Naruto just didn't register romantic intentions. And now there was a new challenger, this Lala girl. She seemed to have a good relationship with Naruto and that worried Risa. In a matter of days Lala's relationship with Naruto seemed to reach a similar level as her own. Fortunately she seemed to be having the same lack of success that Risa was used to but the fact remained she was a threat. Risa tried to focus on the lecture which was not the easiest thing to do in a history lesson taught by a teacher with a voice so dry that a student had passed out with severe dehydration in one of his classes before. But you never know, maybe the Sengoku period would have some sort of hint to help her deal with her current issues.

* * *

><p>Naruto stood opposite Rito on top of the school roof, arms crossed. Rito looked nervous but determined and Naruto couldn't help but admire the boy's courage.<p>

Unbeknownst to the two males there 'confrontation' was not private. Risa, Mio and Haruna were sat on the stairs to the roof listening in. Haruna refused to believe that Naruto would fight Rito and that Rito would actually challenge Naruto and was sure that this had to be a misunderstanding. Mio agreed saying they were probably going to confess their feelings for each other to which Risa and Haruna gave her a funny look. Turns out Mio is into Yaoi.

"Uzumaki-san," Rito took a deep breath before falling to his knees and bowing to Naruto. "Make a man of me!"

"What?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"I knew it!" Mio moaned happily as she passed out with a nose bleed.

"I never knew…" Haruna stared into space in shock.

"I don't believe it… but…" Risa stared off into space. "Suddenly it starts to make sense why he doesn't react to me…"

Back with the boys Naruto was clearing out his ear with his little finger, "Do you mind repeating that?"

"I want you to teach me how to be a manlier person!" Rito clarified.

"Oh!" Naruto let out a sigh, "For a second I thought you meant…"

"What?" Rito looked confused.

"Ah nothing," Naruto laughed uneasily, "I suppose I could give you a few pointers but I'm not really that much of a manly man myself."

"But… certain people look up to you!" Rito pointed out.

"Well I guess some people might," Naruto admitted. "But that's mostly the perverted principal and Kenichi, not really people who I would want to have a high opinion of me. May I ask what brought this on?"

"Well…" Rito looked uncomfortable, "I don't feel right just saying it in public like this?"

"Does it involve a girl?" Naruto asked.

"Yes." Rito nodded.

"Fine," Naruto shook his head. "We'll need to find somewhere to talk without people eavesdropping."

The three girls froze.

"You think someone could be eavesdropping on us?" Rito sounded panicky.

"Well it did sound like you were challenging me to a fight this morning," Naruto pointed out.

"It did?!" Rito went white as a sheet.

"Yeah," Naruto smirked at Rito's discomfort. "Well… where do you want to go to talk about this?"

"Well… my house is mostly empty right now." Rito looked at the blonde.

"Fine," Naruto stretched out. "I suppose I can try and help you out" _'Maybe then I can move on with my own life.' _

"Great!" Rito beamed, "Follow me!"

* * *

><p>"I'm home," Rito called out as he and Naruto entered the house and took off their shoes.<p>

"Nice place," Naruto commented.

"Thanks," Rito smiled.

"Welcome home," A small girl with long brown hair walked towards them. "Oh, what is this? You brought a friend home Rito? I was beginning to wonder if you had any."

"Mikan, this is Naruto, Naruto, this is my sister Mikan."

"Pleased to meet you," Naruto smiled warmly at Mikan.

"Thank you for looking after my brother," Mikan bowed politely.

"No worries," Naruto ruffled her hair affectionately earning an irritated glare from the smaller girl.

"Follow me," Rito lead Naruto to his room, "Please take a seat," he indicated the bed.

"… Thanks," Naruto sat down and was about to talk when his phone went off. "One moment please."

"Of course," Rito nodded.

"Hello mother," Naruto sighed as he answered the phone. "No I haven't been kidnapped. No I am not just saying that because I am at gun point. I am not being sold as a sex slave. I don't even know what that is but I'm pretty sure that isn't happening here. I am at a friend's house. No, not Sarenji's. Yes, I do have more than one friend. No he isn't imaginary. Good bye." Naruto hung up and sighed heavily. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay," Rito opened his mouth to speak when there was a knock at the door. "Come in."

"I just brought up some tea," Mikan brought in a tray with tea and snacks on it. "I hope you like tea," She said glancing at Naruto.

"I do, thank you very much," Naruto smiled and took the offered cup.

"I'll leave you two alone," Mikan smiled as she left the room.

"You have a very dependable little sister there," Naruto remarked.

"Thanks," Rito smiled, "I don't know what I would do without her. So I was wondering, if there was a girl you were in love with… how'd you confess to her?"

"Is that really what you wanted to ask me?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "I'd have thought you'd have wanted to know Sarenji's likes and dislikes."

"Ah!" Rito went crimson, "What do you mean… I mean why would I want to know...?"

"He isn't buying it," Mikan's voice called out.

"Ah… how long have you known?" Rito asked. "And don't eavesdrop on your big brother's conversations!"

"Long enough," Naruto smiled. "Don't worry, Sarenji seems completely unaware."

"Ah," Rito let out a sigh of relief. "Then…" Rito looked uneasy. "I mean… do you and Haruna-chan…"

"We aren't in a relationship nor does it look like we ever will be," Naruto assured Rito.

"That's good," Rito beamed, "I don't think I could compete with you if that was the case!"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Naruto muttered under his breath.

"Pardon?"

"Ah never mind, I was just thinking aloud." Naruto took a sip of the tea, "Man… this is pretty good. Your sister is quite gifted."

"Thank you," Mikan's voice responded.

"I told you to stop eavesdropping." Rito sighed.

"I'm just checking that this guy is actually your friend. He looks like a delinquent so I was checking he wasn't threatening you." Mikan replied honestly, "No offence by the way."

"None taken," Naruto laughed. "I wish I had a little sister like you."

"Unfortunately not everyone realises a good thing when they see it," Mikan's voice had a tone of humour in it.

"Hmm…" Naruto sipped his tea, "I can see."

"Hey!" Rito exclaimed. "Stop ganging up on me."

"Ahahaha," Naruto laughed heartily. "So what do you want from me then?"

"Hints and tips about Haruna I guess," Rito rubbed his chin. "What kind of man does she like?"

"Hmm…" Naruto stared off into the distance. "It would be easier to tell you the kind of guys she doesn't like…at least not romantically." _'If he stops seeing me as a threat then maybe it will encourage him to actually ask Haruna out.'_

"Oh?" Rito looked interested.

"Well… there's me for a start," Naruto looked at Rito. "I confessed to her a year or so ago and got shot down."

"Really!" Rito smiled. _'He was my biggest rival but it seems Haruna-chan isn't interested in him!' _

"There's no need to be so happy about it," Naruto remarked dryly.

"Ah, sorry." Rito bowed apologetically.

"I apologise, my brother is an idiot." Mikan called through the door.

"It must be hard to have a brother such as him," Naruto smirked.

"Oh you have no idea," Mikan and Naruto laughed as Rito started complaining about being bullied by his little sister.

"But back to my question," Rito looked at Naruto. "Do you know if she'd like a guy like me?"

"Do I know?" Naruto looked thoughtful. _'Well she has never actually confirmed that it is Yuuki who she likes… _"I can't guarantee but I can say you have the best chance of a successful confession."

"I see," Rito glanced at the door as it opened and Mikan entered with a cup of tea and sat on the bed beside Naruto. "Can I help you?"

"We both know I'd just stay outside eavesdropping. At least this way I am more comfortable," Mikan smiled.

"I really like your little sister," Naruto laughed and ruffled her hair getting another glare from the small girl.

* * *

><p>Naruto returned home in a surprisingly good mood. Rito and Mikan were excellent company and even though Rito was trying to woo Haruna, Naruto actually enjoyed the time he had spent at Rito's house. Before he had left Mikan had told him he was always welcome at their house and gave him some biscuits to take home, which had barely lasted the ten minute walk from Rito's house to his own. Mikan was quite the talented little chef (she was responsible for most of the cooking in the Yuuki household Naruto had found out) and he made a mental note to drop by every so often.<p>

As he opened the door he called out, "I'm home!" And took off his shoes whilst finishing off the last biscuit Mikan had given him.

"What took you so long?!" Kushina crossed her arms as Naruto walked into the dining room. "I was terrified that you had been kidnapped and used as a sex slave by some twisted middle aged woman!"

"…Are you talking about someone else living your dream?" Naruto responded.

"I'm not middle aged!" Kushina retorted.

"But you didn't deny the rest," Naruto shook his head. "Is Lala home?"

"Yes," Kushina nodded. "She's up to something. She went straight to her room and there has been all sorts of noises coming from there."

"I see," Naruto glanced at Lala's door. "Seems quiet now."

"Yeah," Kushina agreed.

"Which hopefully means she has finished whatever she was working on." He walked towards Lala's room.

"Hmm that Lala is monopolising my Naru-chan," Kushina muttered as she walked over to the shrine. "Minato, my Naru-chan is growing more and more distant what should i do? What?! I can't side with Lala! I have my pride to consider! How could you say that? Well that maybe true but... oh really? Well fine! Let's see you get any good incense! I'll burn rubbish at your shrine now! Who's the idiot now?!"

"Just when I thought she couldn't get weirder she starts arguing with a shrine." Naruto rubbed his forehead and knocked on Lala's door.

"Who is it?" Lala called out.

"Naruto."

"Okay! Come in!"

Naruto opened the door and paused. "You've decorated this room… and apparently made it bigger. A lot bigger." In fact Lala's room was now larger than the rest of the house.

"That's right!" Lala declared. "This room is partially in another dimension allowing it to be far larger than the original room would let it be!"

"Is this what you have been working on all day?"

"Oh this took me about fifteen minutes," Lala shook her head. "I spent most of today working on the training area for you!"

"You didn't have to go to such lengths for my sake," Naruto felt embarrassed.

"I call it… the Danger Room!" Lala announced dramatically.

"Ignoring the name for a moment, what exactly is the Danger Room?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Lala gestured to a door marked with an X. "In here you can simulate all sorts of battle scenarios and improve your combat skills."

"Why is the door marked with an X?" Naruto asked.

"It seemed right," was Lala's dismissive response. "Do you want to give it a test run?"

"Sure," Naruto nodded with a grin, "Sounds like it could be fun."

"Great!" Lala beamed before ushering Naruto through the door. The room was small, roughly the same size as Naruto's bedroom. It appeared to be empty and the walls, floor and ceiling were covered in very small white plastic looking tiles.

"This doesn't look that impressive," Naruto remarked as Lala left the room.

"Loading up training program OMGMIS #1," Lala's voice sounded over some speakers and all of a sudden what was a small room became a large barren wasteland.

"OMGMIS?" Naruto asked.

"It's named after what you'll be yelling shortly." Lala replied mischievously.

All of a sudden several shards of light started to merge into a shapes before Naruto. When the lights had finally died down, Naruto realised that he shouldn't have let Lala watch Earth TV

"Is that…?" Naruto started.

"Hai," Lala's voice sounded happy.

"Just one question Lala," Naruto asked calmly, "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DEFEAT AN ENTIRE ARMY OF GUNDAM?!"

"Good luck!" Lala cut the communication and watched over the screen as Naruto was repeated assaulted by a barrage of laser fire and missiles.

"GOLDEN FINGER!"

"OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP!" Naruto howled as he was destroyed for the umpteenth time.

"And that is why it is called that," Lala explained helpfully before ending the simulation. She walked into the chamber to see a twitching Naruto on the floor, looking perfectly unharmed.

"I died," Naruto remarked in an empty voice. "I have seen the next world and it is cold and unforgiving."

"See," Lala clapped her hands, "You can die as many times as is required in order to become a better fighter."

Naruto opened his mouth to yell at Lala but then paused, "Wait if I can feel the pain and tiredness from the simulation does that mean that…"

"Hai," Lala interrupted. "You are using your body in the simulator so any muscle growth and muscle memory you acquire in there is yours to keep! If you can increase your strength in the Danger Room (patent pending) then your real world strength also increases! Obviously there are pain dampeners in place so you don't feel the full impact of your 'deaths' but it is still a pretty good invention right? I can acquire the data of those most likely to attack you so you can fight them in the simulation and be prepared for them should they attack you!"

"Lala," Naruto looked at the pink haired alien, "You are actually a genius aren't you?"

"Thanks," Lala blushed.

"But just one question," Naruto asked, "WHY THE HELL A DID YOU MAKE ME FIGHT A GUNDAM ARMY?!"

"Well…" Lala twiddled her fingers, "I figured that the more extreme the danger the more likely it was you could trigger your transformation."

"Transformation?"

"Calling it a glowing blue thingy was getting old."

"Oh." Naruto sighed heavily. "Well if that proved anything it's that damage doesn't trigger that state."

"And now we know," Lala nodded pulling out a clipboard and ticking something on it. "Now for the next simulation unless you want to rest first?"

"I'm sure whatever it was it can't be as bad as that experience." Naruto cracked his knuckles.

"Well… there is OMGMIS #2 – That would be you fighting Cthulhu."

"Do you have any simulation that would end with my sanity intact? I have no intention of fighting any of the old ones today." Naruto sighed heavily.

"Well I suppose there is NACOV #1."

"NACOV?" Naruto asked.

"Not a Chance of Victory," Lala clarified. "That would be you fighting my father at his full strength before the Unification War."

"I see," Naruto deadpanned, "Your dad at full strength is more dangerous that Cthulhu?"

"Pretty much," Lala beamed.

"And that's the guy who I've got to beat up." Naruto shook his head. "Well I suppose that everyone should aim high."

"You don't have to fight my father," Lala shook her head.

"I promised didn't I?" Naruto turned to face Lala with a serious smile. "I told him I would kick his ass if he didn't let you marry who you want. I may not return your feelings but if you have really chosen me then these assassins are a sign he intends to stop our marriage." Naruto cracked his knuckles. "So that means I have to fight him!"

"Naruto…" Lala smiled at him with tears in her eyes.

"Lala?" Naruto blinked.

"You said our marriage!" Lala exclaimed crying tears of joy, "You've accepted my proposal!"

"I what?" Naruto blinked, "I… that isn't what I mean at all!"

"Your heart has spoken to me," Lala grabbed his hands. "I love you too Naruto-kun!"

"Listen to me!" Naruto sighed as Lala started dancing around. "Damn it. She looks so happy I can't just go and ruin that can I?"

"He loves me, he loves me!" Lala cheered as she continued running around the arena.

"Argh," Naruto couldn't look at her. When she was so happy like this she was almost blinding to look at. "Can we just load up a different simulation?"

"Hai!" Lala smiled happily.


	5. Chapter 5: No Rest for the Wicked

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: This is quite a long chapter in which Yui gets a little more time in the spotlight and we also meet a few new characters who will pop up every now and again. This story doesn't follow the To Love Ru story line (although it will have some events that are the same). Just so you know.

People were asking about certain characters that were from To Love Ru Darkness and the truth is I haven't actually read that past the first few chapters so most characters from that will not appear in this story. I am intending to start reading it though so after this story is finished I might do a sequel based on Darkness. So to summarise: No Mea, Tearju or Nemesis in this story.

Also I have had people complaining that eight choices weren't enough on the poll which was unexpected. Seeing as I did miss a couple of characters and quite a few people have messaged me about it, I will restart the poll this time with enough choices to select every character but one (due to how the polls work on this site). If anyone is interested in the poll results I will put the top ten below. If not jump down to the page break to begin the story! Once again I stress that poll is simply to show what people think of what characters. The general plot for this story is already planned out. If you don't want to vote again you don't have to. The next chapter will come out regardless of how many people vote on the poll.

Edit: Since My internet was down literally the instant I uploaded this chapter. It has been sitting around waiting for me to actually add it to the story. As a result we have another double chapter. If you voted on the poll and had 10 votes to place then you have already voted on the new poll.

Edit #2: Haruna's status in the harem is undecided. The orignal story idea had her and Rito struggling to confess to each other whilst Naruto comes to terms with his feelings for Lala however it seems a 50 / 50 split on whether she ends up with Rito or Naruto in the reviews and PMs i have recieved. We'll see how the story progresses in regards to Haruna and Naruto's relationship.

Poll Results (As of 2.11.14)

1st Place: Lala Deviluke (161 Votes)  
>2nd Place: Momo Deviluke (148 Votes)<br>3rd Place: Kushina Uzumaki and Yui Kotegawa (143 Votes)  
>5th Place: Yami  Golden Darkness (137 Votes)  
>6th Place: Risa Momioka (133 Votes)<br>7th Place: Mikan Yuuki (126 Votes)  
>8th Place: Ryouko Mikado (112 Votes)<br>9th Place: Nana Deviluke (109 Votes)  
>10th Place: Haruna Sarenji (82 Votes)<p>

Thanks to everyone who has dropped a review and I hope you continue to read and enjoy reading this story as much as I am enjoying writing it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or To Love 'Ru

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: No Rest for the Wicked<p>

Naruto yawned as he woke up. Today was a Sunday so it wasn't as if he had to go to school but he did have plans. Glancing around, he was unsurprised to see both Kushina and Lala were in his bed. Smiling softly he crept out of his bed and grabbed some clothes from his wardrobe before heading the bathroom to get changed.

He yawned sleepily as he checked his attire. He was wearing faded jeans and a plain black shirt, his messy mop of blonde hair left untouched. His entire body ached. He had been in the Danger Room as Lala called it until the early hours of the morning. He had left Lala sleeping in her own bed so he had no idea how she had gotten into his.

"Probably has some sort of teleporter," Naruto grumbled as he stretched out and tried to massage out the pain in his arms. "Yesterday was a real eye opener." He muttered. He had tried fighting Gid but had been completely destroyed before he had time to even register the Devilukian Emperor's presence. Deciding to take a step back he tried fighting Zastin at his prime. Once again only the fact he was in the danger room kept him alive. Zastin had sliced him in half without ever being in danger of being struck by Naruto.

"I need a weapon," Naruto decided. Brawling just wasn't going to cut it when it came to fighting alien assassins, never mind the supreme ruler of the galaxy. He sighed as he made breakfast, making sure to leave something for Lala and Kushina to eat when they woke up. Grabbing an orange and black hoodie, Naruto left the house and started jogging around the neighbourhood. It was a cold, misty morning and Naruto could see his breath as he ran. He pulled up the hood to try and keep his ears warm and upped his speed.

As he was running he allowed his mind to wander. Recently life had been getting more and more hectic. Lala's presence was definitely making his life more interesting but how long until one of these assassin's targeted someone else to get to Naruto? If the prize was Lala and by extension becoming the ruler of the most powerful empire in the known galaxy, there would of course be all sort of shadowy individuals who would get involved and use his classmates as hostages.

He shivered at the thought of an alien assassin holding Haruna and Lala hostage. _'I have to make sure I am strong enough to protect everyone.' _Naruto clenched his fists before skidding to a halt as he noticed a familiar person.

"Zastin?" Naruto called out to the Devilukian Knight.

"Naruto-sama!" Zastin cried tears of joy. "I have been searching for your house for many days now!"

"I wondered where you were," Naruto admitted.

"I managed to get the milk you asked me to acquire," Zastin held out the milk.

"I sent you to get that three days ago," Naruto blinked. "Don't tell me you've been lost for that long?"

"Ah," Zastin had the grace to look embarrassed. "When I tried to ask locals for directions they all ran away and seem to avoid me. One wearing a uniform tried to put some strange bracelet on me that I accidentally broke and she seemed very distressed and called more similarly dressed people to help. I had to run away otherwise I may have hurt someone."

"That would explain the wanted posters I've been seeing," Naruto mused before returning his attention to Zastin, "Maybe it's your outfit."

"I see," Zastin scowled. "My armour may intimidate you humans but as Lala-sama's guard it is my duty to be prepared for combat at all times!"

"But if you can't even get people to help you find her, who good is being prepared for combat if you don't know where she is?"

"You speak wisely," Zastin nodded. "Very well. I will acquire less conspicuous clothing."

"Hey Zastin," Naruto paused slightly. "You are a good swordsman right?"

"That is correct," Zastin nodded proudly. "I hold the title for the greatest swordsman of Deviluke!"

"That's pretty impressive," Naruto nodded. "I was wondering… could you teach me to fight using a sword? I have some kendo training if that helps."

"May I ask why you wish to learn?"

"I was attacked by some Assassins the other day and won by pure luck," Naruto admitted. "I can't protect Lala and the others as I am now. It is only a matter of time until someone tries to target them. If I can't defend myself how can I save my friends?"

"A truly noble sentiment." Zastin smiled at Naruto. "But I am afraid I am not much of a teacher. Of course for Lala-sama's chosen one I will be willing to try but first," Zastin indicated his leg. "Can you remove this creature from me?"

Naruto blinked as he realised the small dog that was chewing on Zastin's leg. "Er… Sure," Naruto scratched the dog behind its ear causing it to let go of Zastin and bark happily.

"You have a way with animals," Zastin praised.

"Thanks," Naruto laughed, "Since I didn't have many friends as a child I tended to play with stray animals. I have something of a natural charisma when it comes to animals."

"I see," Zastin smiled. "Well now I must return to home. If assassins are making their move I must find and warn Lala-sama!"

"See you later," Naruto watched as Zastin started to walk away. The little dog gave a bark and pursued him resulting in Zastin racing down the street trying to outrun the little dog and seemed to be getting away until he ran into the middle of the road as was blindsided by a lorry. "Well… that happened. Still if he could survive being in my mother's presence after attacking me I'm sure a little thing like being run over will barely even wind him." His phone started to ring, "I don't recognise this number. Could this be… another contact to add to my phone?!" Naruto's eyes lit up. "Hello?" He answered the phone.

"Hi!" Lala's voice called out. "I got this number from your mother's phone and made myself a mobile phone! Where are you?"

"Just jogging around town," Naruto answered accepting that Lala was smart enough to build a phone and get it to work. Compared to the danger room which bent the very rules of the universe, a phone was probably not even a challenge to the alien genius. "I usually do on a Sunday."

"Kushina told me there is no school today." Lala sounded happy.

"Oh yeah," Naruto chuckled, "I forgot to tell you that yesterday."

"It's okay." Lala didn't seem upset, "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date today?"

"Sorry but I have plans already today." Naruto sounded apologetic.

"Oh that's okay," Lala's voice was a little disappointed.

"Hey didn't you make any friends at School?" Naruto asked.

"Sure!" Lala cheered right up. "Haruna-chan offered to show me around the town."

"Take her up on it," Naruto suggested. "Sarenji is a nice person and I'm sure the two of you will get along famously. Just don't reveal the fact you are an alien okay?"

"Okay!" Lala made a kissing noise.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked.

"Blowing you a kiss of course!" Lala laughed. "Isn't it normal for two lovers to do that sort of thing?"

"WHEN DID THE TWO OF YOU BECOME LOVERS?!" Kushina's roar was audible through the phone.

"Run Lala," Naruto replied with dead seriousness. "Run and don't look back!"

"Okay!" Lala's cheerful nature was unaffected by Kushina's fury. "I'll see you later!"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded as Lala hung up. "New contact added!" Naruto cheered inwardly as he saved Lala's number. It was a small thing but Naruto was aware that he had a depressingly low number of contacts on his phone. That's why he was always happy to receive new ones. In middle school he had been told that a man's worth was determined by his friends and that the easiest way to see how many true friends he had was by looking at his mobile phone contacts. Admittedly it had been his grandfather on his father's side of the family that told him that when he justified buying Naruto a mobile to Kushina, who claimed Naruto didn't need one as all he needed to talk to was Kushina herself who had a god given bond that allowed her to know exactly where Naruto was at every moment. It wasn't until many years later Naruto discovered that she had put GPS trackers on everything he owned. It was reasons like this that Naruto developed an interest in technology.

He continued on his jog allowing his thoughts to wander freely once more. Lala was definitely happy about his choice of words last night.

"_It means you have acknowledged that I really want to marry you." Lala smiled softly. "That you understand that it is because I love you and not a marriage of convenience." _

"_It does?" Naruto blinked. _

"_Because it is __**our **__marriage. It was a slip of the tongue I am sure, but it shows deep down you love me too! All I have to do is draw out your love until it reaches the surface!" Lala looked pumped up. "The real battle starts now!" _

Naruto chuckled at the memory. After another ten minutes jogging Naruto arrived at his destination. It was an old fashioned looking dojo with two toads carrying swords as the logo. Naruto lowered his hood and entered the dojo. It was empty besides a tall old man with a smoking pipe and a young boy who was furiously swinging a bokuto.

"Hey Oji-san," Naruto called out.

"Morning brat," An old man smoking a pipe turned to squint at him. The man was bald and had a fierce scar on his face. He eyes were a fierce orange and he was wearing traditional Japanese clothing in a dark brown colour and generally looked like a high up member of a Yakuza. His name was Bunta and this was his dojo.

"Naruto-aniki!" The young boy paused to nod at Naruto before returning to his training. The boy wore a bright orange hoodie and black leggings. He only came up to Naruto's waist and had yellow eyes. This was Kichi and he was Bunta's son. The two of them were the only people you would ever find in the Gama Dojo.

"You said you wanted me?" Naruto watched Kichi practice alongside Bunta.

"Yeah," Bunta took the pipe out of his mouth and refilled the tobacco. "I've been hearing rumours that the Panthers have been causing trouble at your school."

"That's right," Naruto scowled. "I think they are after me."

"That's more than likely," Bunta nodded. "I have heard similar rumours from my old… friends. I am worried about you boy."

"Please the panthers are the least of my problems," Naruto muttered.

"Then you are truly living in interesting times," Bunta chuckled. "The Panther's had some serious funding. I don't know who is paying but the fact is they are more than just some street gang. They have some serious muscle. Right now they only view you as a nuisance but before long they are going to step up their game. Just thought I should warn you."

"Alright," Naruto nodded, "Thanks for the warning."

"you are welcome," Bunta turned his attention back to his son. "Sort out your stance!"

"Hai!" Kichi straightened up and increased the speed of his sword swings.

"And you," Bunta turned back to Naruto. "Your brawling may have been effective up until now but you need to sort out a true fighting style. You can't rely on brute force anymore. I'd offer you a position in our dojo again but we both know you wouldn't accept it."

"If I re-join then I will just be bringing more trouble to your doorstep. You and Kichi are practically family. I refuse to endanger you." Naruto smiled at the old man.

"Well if that's the case," Bunta walked over to the wall and threw a wooden katana at the blonde who caught it deftly. "Just a spar for old time's sake."

"Sure," Naruto held the bokuto in front of him and took a deep breath.

"Whenever you are ready," Bunta tipped some ash out of his pipe.

Naruto charged without a word, swinging at Bunta's neck but he deftly parried the attack with his pipe.

"Stop telegraphing your attacks," Bunta lectured. "I saw that coming from last Tuesday!"

Naruto launched a barrage of furious slashes, each of which was easily parried by the old man and his smoking pipe.

"Quantity will never beat quality brat," Bunta laughed and struck Naruto on the hand with his pipe.

"Damn it," Naruto cursed as he dropped the sword.

"Now we are going to try this again," Bunta kicked the wooden sword up into his hand and passed it back to Naruto. "But I want you to listen to me. Calm yourself down. Take deep breaths. Focus on what it is you are fighting for."

Naruto closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you thinking about your reason?" Bunta asked.

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"Then it isn't a good one," Bunta countered. "What is it?"

"I am thinking how much I want to shove that pipe where the sun doesn't shine," Naruto smirked.

"This is serious boy!" Bunta growled. "If you don't have a reason to fight you will get yourself killed!"

"Sorry," Naruto bowed his head. "What kind of reason should I have?"

"That is something only you can know." Bunta sighed. "Think, have you ever done something that when you look back at it seems impossible?"

"A few times," Naruto recalled his fight with Zastin and the gun wielding panthers.

"What was going through your head at the time?" Bunta asked.

"Er…" Naruto closed his eyes.

_'__Damn it. How do I beat this guy?' __Naruto thought as he struggled to stay awake. He could hear distant voices arguing. Then a scream from Lala. _

_"I will never give in!" Naruto roared as he exploded from the waterfall._

"What was going through your mind?" Bunta asked circling Naruto.

'_Am I going to die?' His mind threw up images. Kushina weeping over his grave. Lala, Haruna and Risa looking sad. Yui blaming herself for him dying. 'To hell with that!'_

"My precious people…" Naruto muttered. "I didn't want them to be sad… to be in danger."

"Focus on that feeling!" Bunta ordered. "Every fight you are in there is a chance you could lose. If you lose you could end up hurting those you care about! SO WHAT MUST YOU NEVER DO?" Bunta attacked with the pipe aiming for Naruto's head.

"LOSE!" Naruto roared as the blue aura enveloped him and he swing at Bunta's pipe, cutting through the ivory handle as if it were paper. Naruto panted heavily and the aura faded.

"Remember brat," Bunta smirked. "True strength is never achieved if you only fight for yourself. Fighting for yourself is weakness, fighting for others is when you become strong. Keep the bokuto. When times get hard remember the Gama family has your back."

"Thanks," Naruto bowed to Bunta and left, waving goodbye to Kichi. _'That power… was that the same as when I fought Zastin and the panthers?' _

"Do you think he'll get the hint dad?" Kichi paused in his swings.

"He has to. That boy has been thrown head first into one of the most dangerous competitions in the galaxy." Bunta remarked. "If it were anyone else I would say they were screwed but Naruto has a habit of surprising me. Besides the boss has given us orders regarding Naruto anyway. I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD STOP SWINGING BOY!"

"HAI!" Kichi returned to swinging the sword.

* * *

><p>Lala smiled happily as she and Haruna walked around the town. She was wearing one of Kushina's old outfits consisting of a red cardigan and black dress. Haruna was wearing a plain beige dress and was watching Lala with a smile.<p>

"And this here is the shopping area," Haruna indicated as they approached a shopping centre.

"Ooh!" Lala smiled. "Maybe I should get a new dress to welcome Naruto home in tonight!"

"Pardon?" Haruna blinked. _'Welcome home?' _

"Well last night Naruto accepted my feelings!" Lala cheered.

"Oh." Haruna was shocked. "Er… I mean congratulations Deviluke-san."

"Please call me Lala!" Lala pouted cutely.

"O… Okay Lala-san," Haruna bowed her head slightly.

"Muu," Lala pursed her lips. "Close enough for now I guess." Her mood instantly improved, "What kind of dress do you think I should wear for him? Do you know what he likes?"

"Er…" Haruna paused. "I'm afraid I don't really know. Maybe something in orange as that is his favourite colour."

"Then let's look together! If we both like it then surely Naruto will as well!" Lala dragged Haruna into the store.

"Well look who it is," a familiar voice sounded from behind Lala and Haruna.

"Risa-chan!" Lala exclaimed happily.

"Well I wish everyone was that happy to see me," Risa laughed as she joined the two girls. "What are you two up to?"

"I was just showing Lala-San around," Haruna smiled.

"Yeah!" Lala nodded. "Haruna-chan was giving me a tour of the local area and I decided I needed to buy a new dress. I have money and everything!" Lala had in fact been given the money by Kushina. Admittedly Kushina had told her to use the money to get a taxi to go to the nearest space shuttle station and get a lift back home but Lala was 90% sure she was joking. Actually considering Kushina had been revving a chainsaw to 'rid the world of pink haired Succubi' maybe that was 75% sure. Lala is almost suicidally optimistic.

"Ooh, do you mind if I tag along?" Risa smiled. _'As Sun Tzu said to defeat your enemy you must know your enemy! Or something like that. I'm pretty sure somebody somewhere in time has said that.' _

"I have no objections," Haruna nodded.

"Sure! The more the merrier!" Lala happily wandered ahead, picking up dresses and holding them against her before putting them back and running to another dress and repeating. Risa and Haruna watched with amusement.

"She is like a little child in a candy store," Risa chuckled.

"Yes… she said that Uzumaki-san has returned her feelings." Haruna frowned slightly.

"Seriously?" Risa forced a smile onto her face. "Good for her. I have to admit I am surprised that he actually returned her feelings."

"Ah what are you talking about?" Lala seemed to appear next to the two girls causing them to jump in shock.

"We were just talking about Naruto," Risa smiled at Lala. "Haruna says you two are getting along quite well."

"Hai," Lala blushed. "Why the other night he was even talking about our marriage."

"What?" Risa cried out before clearing her throat, "I mean, oh in what way?"

"Papa has been sending people to break us up but Naruto said he would fight for our marriage." Lala started going through more dresses.

"Did Naruto say he wanted to marry you?" Risa asked.

"Of course not," Lala laughed. "I knew it wouldn't be that easy to win him over. But he is actually accepting that I want to marry him rather than just assuming that I am using him to get out of another marriage."

"Oh!" Risa let out a breath she didn't even realise she was holding, "So you are happy because Naruto is now taking your advances seriously."

"Hai," Lala smiled with her hands crossed over her heart, "Just the knowledge that Naruto knows that I genuinely love him is a massive obstacle overcome! Given the nature of our meeting he would always suspect I was just using him." Lala seemed fired up. "But now he has acknowledged my feelings I feel as if I could take over the world!"

"I see." Risa laughed out of relief and genuine amusement. "Well good luck."

"Good luck to you too." Lala smiled.

"Er… why would I need it?" Risa faltered.

"Oh… don't you have feelings for Naruto too?" Lala asked innocently.

"What? What makes you say that?" Risa blinked.

"Well you always get close to him when you can, you watch him a lot in class and you blushed when I just asked you if you liked him," Lala smiled warmly. "Don't worry, I won't tell him."

"I…" Risa was honestly shocked. "I don't know what to say."

"It's okay." Lala grabbed Risa's hand. "If your feelings are true I am sure that they will reach Naruto."

"I…" Risa looked away. "Should you really be supporting your friend to win the heart of the guy you like?"

"I don't see why not. It's the duty of a friend to support their friends isn't it?" Lala asked.

Haruna blinked at her words. She could see a grinning Naruto saying similar words to her not so long ago.

"You… are really weird," Risa laughed. "But in a good way."

"Thanks," Lala smiled. "Oh isn't that dress pretty!" Lala dashed to one side.

"I wonder… Is it fate that Naruto has met someone as kind as he is?" Haruna wondered aloud.

"What kind of person supports their friends' love lives at the cost of their own?" Risa asked with a sad smile.

Before Haruna could answer a familiar voice shook them to their cores.

"I trust you are not up to anything shameless Momioka-san," Yui walked towards the two. She was wearing a thick winter coat that covered most of her body. "Good morning Sarenji-san."

"Good morning," The two girls returned the greeting.

"I'm not up to anything at the moment," Risa grinned. "But the day is young I and I haven't run into Naruto today."

"Uzumaki-san?" Yui raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, when we get together we do all sorts of _naughty_ things," Risa emphasised the 'naughty' by lifting her skirt a little.

"Shameless!" Yui blushed and stepped away from Risa. "Even if we are not in school you should act more befitting of your gender and age!"

"Oh?" Risa tilted her head. "How is that? Wearing coats that hide your figure because you have no confidence in your sex appeal?" Risa grinned. "Like you?"

"I have confidence," Yui countered. "I just don't feel the need to go around showing everyone! Only the person I marry gets to see those parts of me!"

"And how will you ever get married if you don't show the guys a little something to get them eager?"

"Not all men are controlled by the baser instincts. My husband will be a pure hearted man who loves me for my personality." Yui retorted.

"Fat chance of that happening," Risa smirked.

Yui scowled. "I'll have you know that I have a boyfriend!"

"Oh really," Risa snorted. "And what's his name?"

"I fail to see how this is any of your business." Yui retorted.

"Hey Yui-chan," A tall guy wandered up with a grin. "There you are? These girl's your friends?"

"No way…" Risa faltered. "Is that your boyfriend?"

Before Yui could counter the boy simply laughed. "Nah, this here's my little sister. The name's Yuu Kotegawa. Pleased to meet you."

"So… do you know Yui's boyfriend?" Risa asked while Yui prayed to any gods that may have been watching to somehow save her dignity.

"Yeah, we've met a couple of times," Yuu lied flawlessly.

"I… don't believe it." Risa actually staggered backwards. "I always thought I would get a boyfriend long before Yui would!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yui replied hotly.

"Now, now girls," Yuu laughed. "If you want to have a cat fight can you do it later on when I have a camera to hand?" He dodged a furious swipe from Yui, "Yui and I have some errands to run."

"I will see you at school Sarenji-san," Yui smiled politely at Haruna, "Momioka-san," Yui glared at Risa who stuck her tongue out in return.

"See you girls," Yuu waved as the two walked away and out of the clothing store. "Don't worry. You big brother's got your back! But seriously you should just ask out the guy you keep doodling in your diary. That way I won't have to cover for you in front of your friends!"

"Stop reading my diary!" Yui turned crimson as they made their way down the street. Yui noticed a familiar figure jogging towards them.

"What was his name again…?" Yuu looked thoughtful.

"Naruto?!" Yui blinked as she saw recognised the familiar form approaching them.

"That's the… WHAH?!" Yuu cried out in pain as Yui stamped on his foot.

"You alright?" Naruto raised an eyebrow as he walked by, bokuto resting on his shoulder and his hood over his head. "I thought I heard you call my name and this guy yelled out in pain."

"Uzumaki-san!" Yui drew herself up to her full height. "What are you doing?"

"Walking around?" Naruto offered. Then it slowly dawned on him that with his current attire and the wooden katana resting on his shoulder he looked like he was delinquent up to no good. "I can explain."

"I'm waiting." Yui crossed her arms.

"I have just visited a dojo and he gave me this free bokuto as a reward for cutting through an ivory pipe with just this very sword." Naruto replied honestly.

"You need to work on your lies," Yui retorted. "Wait… forget that I said that. Today is not a school day so I cannot do anything. But please try and be a better person. If you keep along this path you will eventually end up getting hurt." _'I don't want to have to see you badly hurt again…' _

"Don't worry Yui-chan," Naruto laughed, "I'm not going to be beaten by some lowlife delinquents."

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui blushed.

"Ah young love," Yuu sighed happily.

"Pardon?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Brother!" Yui glared at Yuu who just laughed.

"Well I have to some errands to run but with all the delays there is no way Yui and I can do them all together and Yui's job requires an extra person to do the heavy lifting. If only there was a good hearted civilian who could help us in our time of need," Yuu posed dramatically.

"Your brother likes over acting doesn't he?" Naruto said to Yui before facing her brother. "Fine… I guess I can lend you guys a hand."

"Great!" Yuu handed a list to Naruto. "I'm off to meet my girlfriend. Have fun you two!" Yuu left so fast he actually left an afterimage.

"Did I just get tricked into doing his work?" Naruto asked.

"He is so irresponsible when it comes to his girlfriend." Yui scowled. "He should focus more on his studies and on bettering himself."

"Oh don't be so hard on him," Naruto chuckled. "When you find someone you love you'll realise why he acts the way he does."

"What makes you think I'm not in love with someone," Yui retorted before immediately regretting it.

"Oh? The Tyrant of the School Corridors has a crush," Naruto scratched his chin. "Heh, sorry I didn't realise you had someone you liked."

"It's okay… I do a good job of hiding my feelings I suppose," Yui gestured to the list in Naruto's hands. "I'll go finish these chores."

"It's okay," Naruto smiled. "After all isn't it more fun to do these sorts of things with someone else?"

"I suppose," Yui pulled up her collar to hide her rising blush. "I guess if I keep my eyes on you then you can't do anything immoral."

"I sometimes wonder how you see me," Naruto remarked dryly as the two walked down the street together.

"I hear tales about you all the time, always getting into trouble." Yui glanced at Naruto who was reading the list, "Don't you think about your future?"

"All the time," Naruto smiled.

"Then why do you not apply yourself more to your studies?" Yui asked.

"Even if I did so long as I look like this trouble will seek me out," Naruto pointed to his blonde hair.

"Couldn't you dye your hair black?" Yui suggested. "If you stood out less they would be less likely to start fights with you."

"I know you are trying to help me and have my best interests at heart, really I do," Naruto shook his head. "But my hair is the one thing that can link me back to my father. If I change its colour it is as if I am severing my link to him. I… haven't admitted this to anyone but I can barely remember anything about him. If I lose this last link… I may lose the last few memories of him that I have."

"I… I didn't know." Yui bowed her head. "I am sorry Uzumaki-san."

"Ah no worries," Naruto smiled. "Like I said. Nobody but I and I guess now you know that. It'll be our little secret ok?" He winked at Yui.

"Uzumaki-san," Yui was glad the collar of her coat hid her blush. The two continued their walk in silence. Yui felt happy just be in Naruto's presence and he was just happy to have gotten his fears about his father off of his chest. They arrived at the first destination and Naruto blinked stupidly.

"Is this right?" Naruto double checked the list. "I mean I thought the name sounded familiar but…"

"What kind of tasks has Onii-sama left us with?" Yui muttered.

They were stood in front of a maid café.

"This can't be right," Naruto shook his head. "Can it?"

"I guess… we will have to go inside and find out." Yui led the way into the café.

"Okaerinasaimase, goshujin-sama!" A group of girls dressed in maid's outfits bowed to them as they entered. It was quite a small café with about seven tables, one for each of the maid's stood before them.

"Er… Hi?" Naruto waved uncertainly.

"We are here at the request of Yuu Kotegawa," Yui introduced herself. "I am Yui, his younger sister. This is Naruto Uzumaki he…"

"Oh Uzumaki-sama!" One of the maids called out in surprise. "We meet again."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked while Yui silently seethed in the background.

'_So Naruto visits these kind of places does he! How immoral!' _

"Oh Hinata!" Naruto laughed. "I haven't seen you in ages. Gargh!" He suddenly flinched. "Sorry I didn't…"

"It is okay Uzumaki-sama."

"Take Naruto to a table," A middle aged woman walked towards them. She had long blonde hair in two pigtails and wore a green Kimono which emphasised her sizeable bust. "Well I guess you could look good as a maid."

"What?" Yui blinked.

"Didn't your brother tell you why you were here?" The blonde raised any eyebrow. "That Yuu brought his girlfriend here on a date then bailed when it came to pay the tab. He said his little sister would work off the debt for him."

"Huh?" Yui blinked stupidly. _'What kind of idiot takes his girlfriend to a maid café on a date? More importantly why did he dine and dash? He has plenty of money!' _

"Tsunade-baachan," Naruto crossed his arms. "Can't you cut her some slack?"

'_And why is Naruto on such personal terms with the owner?' _Yui growled internally.

"Well since you are offering," Tsunade grinned. "Maybe I could use a butler for the day. Alright ladies! Let's dress 'em up!"

"Wait, what?" Yui and Naruto spoke at the same time as they were forced into the back room and left with two uniforms in the changing room.

"Not this again," Naruto picked up one of the uniforms and walked into the changing rooms.

"So you have been here before?" Yui decided to ask whilst she picked up the uniform. It went against her morals to wear such a thing but leaving a debt unpaid was a worse crime to the moral fabric of society. That was the only reason she would wear it. It totally wasn't because she wanted to see if Naruto thought she was cute in a maid outfit. Not at all.

"I've never come as a customer," Naruto quickly answered. "Tsunade is my Grandmother on my adopted mother's side. She was the one who recommended moving here."

"I see," Yui answered. "And how do you know that Hinata?"

"She is the only blind maid in the city," Naruto remarked. "I've met her a few times around the city and helped her settle in."

"Oh…" Yui accepted and started to feel a little guilty for suspecting him of something he wasn't guilty for.

"Yeah, when she first arrived here she was always getting hassled so Tsunade hired me to act as a bouncer to deal with the more unruly customers. Fortunately Hinata is capable of looking after herself now and a few of the maids are ex-military."

"Seriously?" Yui blinked.

"Yeah," Naruto stepped out of his changing room adjusting the sleeves on his butler's outfit. Using a comb and hair gel that Tsunade had supplied he managed to get his hair to look more respectable. He turned to face Yui's changing room as she stepped tentatively out of the changing room.

"How do I look?" Yui asked shyly. The maid uniform's skirt was a little short for Yui's comfort but seeing Naruto's expression made it worth it.

"Wow…" Naruto blinked. "You look amazing."

"T…Thanks," Yui stuttered out her face aflame. "You look good too."

"Just get out here and start serving customers! You two can make out later!" Tsunade called from the dining area.

"Baa-chan!" Naruto yelled back before turning to Yui with a smile, "So shall we get this over with."

"As you wish," Yui bowed demurely. "Goshujin-sama."

Naruto blinked stupidly before shaking himself then smiled handsomely at Yui. "After you, Ojou-sama," Naruto offered his hand. Yui's face went crimson as she tried not to look at him.

They spent a good few hours helping out at the café. As most of the customers were males, Yui and the other maids were kept quite busy. Yui was surprisingly popular, her clumsiness and stuttering seemed to increase her appeal to the customers.

There were also a few girls who visited and were waited by Naruto who acted like a complete gentlemen when he was working. Yui couldn't help but sigh dreamily as she stood by the counter watching him.

"If he acted like this all the time he would be beating the girl's off with a stick," Tsunade chuckled as Yui suddenly realised she was being watched.

"I'm sorry," Yui bowed her head.

"Don't worry. You've more than paid off your brother's debt." Tsunade handed her a small envelope. "That's a little something to say thanks. You can keep the outfit, it looks good on you and I'm sure he agrees." Tsunade nodded towards Naruto. "I'm glad Naruto's found a girl who can look after him. God only knows that daughter of mine is doing a terrible job."

"It… we aren't like that!" Yui blushed crimson.

"Oh really?" Tsunade raised an eyebrow "And you have no interest in Naruto then?"

"Not at all," Yui shook her head furiously. "We are just go to the same school."

"Hmm…" Tsunade grinned. "Then I would advise you to sue your face for slander."

Yui merely tried to cover her intense blush.

While Tsunade was having fun embarrassing Yui there was a ringing as another customer entered.

"Okaerinasaimase, goshujin-sama!" The maids bowed to the new arrivals.

"See!" Kenichi grinned. "I told you the maids here were cute!"

"Why did you bring me here?" Rito sighed as he was lead to a table by Hinata who appeared completely unhindered by her lack of sight.

"Oh come on!" Kenichi waved all around him. "Can't you see the beautiful girls?"

"If Haruna-chan was wearing a maid's outfit…" Rito went crimson.

"Man," Kenichi sighed. "You need to not be all hung up on one girl. You should be more like the manly sage! If he couldn't win the heart of one girl (not that any woman can resist his manly advances mind you) he would not let it get him down! He would turn to his harem and seek comfort in their arms!"

"You keep talking about his harem but I've never even seen him with a girl besides Haruna-chan," Rito shook his head at his friend.

"Well… there is… er…" Kenichi scowled. "Oh yes! There is Lala and Yui at the very least!"

"**Is that so?" **A dark foreboding voice sent shivers down Kenichi's spine as he turned to see Yui with an evil aura surrounding her.

"Er… did I say Yui I meant… er… you! Because Yuuki is in Naruto's harem."

"Spreading false rumours is poison to our society's moral wellbeing!" Yui crossed her arms and began lecturing Kenichi who seemed to have a strange joyous expression on his face.

'_Is it just me?' _Rito thought, _'Or is Kenichi enjoying being yelled at a little too much here?' _

"Kotegawa-san," Rito coughed to get her attention, "Why are you working in a maid café?"

"OOH!" Kenichi blew steam from his nostrils, "I was so into being bullied by her I didn't even realise that she was wearing a maid's outfit!"

"Pervert!" Yui staggered away with a look of disgust. "I am here to repay a debt!"

"A debt?" Rito asked.

"My idiot big brother dined and dashed here." Yui sighed sadly. "I wish he would be a more upstanding citizen. I am here to clear his debt."

"May he dine and dash here regularly." Kenichi clapped his hands as if praying.

"I would lecture you but I have the feeling you would enjoy it," Yui scowled at Kenichi.

"Oh please… just a little yelling."

"No."

"Maybe… pull my hair?"

"You are sick and twisted!"

"Oooh yes!" Kenichi hugged himself with a cheesy grin.

"Oh hey guys," Naruto nodded as he walked by the table they were sat at.

"Masterful Action Sage!" Kenichi blinked in shock. "I see… it all makes sense now."

"What does?" Naruto glanced at Yui who just shook her head.

"Why there are so many beautiful women here." Kenichi's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "This is where you keep your harem!" He turned to Rito, "You almost made me doubt the master's greatness!"

"Moving on…" Naruto turned to Yui. "I've spoken to Tsunade and she says we can get out of here."

"Okay. I'll go get changed." Yui ran to the changing rooms.

"Oh," Kenichi looked disappointed. "I was enjoying her bullying me."

"Then I think I know the maid for you," Naruto sighed. "Tayuya-san we have a customer here that requires your… special talents."

A red haired maid walked up to the table and glanced at Kenichi with a look of disgust. "Tch, what the fuck do you think you are doing here you little pathetic shit stain?"

"Aaah!" Kenichi cried tears of happiness.

"I think I'm out of here," Rito started to edge away from his friend.

"Yeah me too," Naruto admitted, stopping only to pick up his clothes and Yui.

The three left the maid café, Yui back in her big coat but Naruto still wearing the butler's outfit.

"I was surprised to see you in there," Rito turned to Naruto. "Do you work there regularly?"

"No," Naruto shook his head. "I was just helping Yui out with some jobs, which reminds me," Naruto pulled the list out of his pocket. "We still have a few more jobs on this place."

"Let me see that," Yui took the list from his hands and sighed heavily. "Most of these places will be closed by now."

"Ah, sorry I couldn't help you," Naruto apologised.

"You were a massive help," Yui smiled warmly at Naruto. "Thank you for helping me. It was… fun hanging around with you."

"Really?" Naruto merely smiled as the two males walked Yui home in silence. Yui had a lot on her mind. It seemed that maybe she had been wrong with Naruto. He had been nothing but a gentlemen all day.

Naruto was merely happy that Yui seemed to be opening up a little to him. He didn't have many friends and the prospect of making a new friend made him feel warm inside.

Rito was feeling like a third wheel on a date.

"I guess this is good night then," Yui walked up to her door and turned to face the two boys. "Thank you very much for escorting me home Uzumaki-san, Yuuki-san."

"No worries," Naruto smiled warmly at Yui making her feel all tingly inside. "We should hang out more often."

"I… I would like that," Yui managed to force out before shutting the door and putting her hands on her face. The image of the Princely Naruto and his gentle smile was causing her heart to go into overdrive.

"Well… that went well I guess," Naruto scratched the back of his head as he and Rito started walking towards Rito's house.

"I didn't know you were so friendly with Kotegawa-san," Rito admitted. "She always seems to have it out for you at school."

"Yeah," Naruto sighed. "She has a tendency to believe the rumours she hears about me and always assumes the worst. Still she is a good person at heart and I know she thinks she is doing me a favour."

"By making jump out of a window on the second floor of a school?" Rito raised an eyebrow.

"It's exercise?" Naruto shrugged before the two started laughing. They arrived at Rito's house when suddenly a strange man burst out of it.

"RITO!" He grabbed the young boy by the shoulders and started shaking him. "IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" He paused as he saw Naruto. "You're not threatening my son are you? You look like a Yakuza dressed up in that suit."

"No dad!" Rito pried himself from his father's grasp. "This is my friend, Naruto Uzumaki."

"Pleased to meet you," Naruto nodded at the man. "I am assuming you are Rito's dad then?"

"That's right." The man nodded, "The name is Saibai Yuuki. Say you look a reliable sort."

"I thought I looked like a Yakuza," Naruto deadpanned.

"A reliable one though. Like the one who they put in charge of their gang's finances," Saibai nodded his head. "Can you draw?"

"A little," Naruto admitted. "I used to draw Manga when I was little because I didn't have many friends."

"Great!" Saibai clapped him on the shoulder. "You should help me out!"

"Er… doing what exactly?" Naruto asked.

"My dad is a Manga artist," Rito explained. "He _always_ leaves his work to the last minute which basically means he comes around here ordering me to help him out. You don't have to help him."

"I've always been curious how a manga artist works." Naruto admitted. "I can spare a bit of time to help you out."

"Great!" Saibai gave him a thumbs up. "Then let's go!" Saibai grabbed Naruto in one arm and Rito in the other before dragging him towards his studio.

Several Hours Later

"My hand…" Naruto groaned as he and Rito left the studio. "My wrist is absolute agony." The sun was now setting as the two made their way back to Rito's house.

"I was surprised that you are actually quite a good artist," Rito laughed. "Now that dad knows that he will constantly hound you for help."

"I figured that when he asked for my mobile number." Naruto admitted. "Still I got another contact on my phone though." Naruto looked happy.

"Oh?"

"I… It's kind of stupid I know but I like getting new mobile phone contacts." Naruto admitted.

"That's a thought," Rito looked at Naruto. "We don't have each other's numbers do we?"

"No," Naruto grinned like a madman. "Want to exchange numbers?"

"Sure. We are friends aren't we?" Rito got out his phone whilst Naruto tried not to sing. Three new contacts in one day! Maybe his social life was finally starting to get going!

"Oh so there you are," Mikan opened the door to her house, "Hello Uzumaki-san."

"Hey there Yuuki-chan," Naruto waved as he put his phone with Rito's number on it back in his picket. "Just call me Naruto, Uzumaki-san makes me feel old."

"Okay then Naruto," Mikan smiled. "I guess you can just call me Mikan. Thanks for helping my idiot brother and father. Can I ask why you are dressed up like that though?"

"I was just working as a butler." Naruto admitted.

"A butler huh?" Mikan raised an eyebrow. "You seem far too informal to pull of that act."

"Is that so _Ojou-sama?" _Naruto switched to butler mode causing Mikan to laugh.

"Man, I bet you are beating the girls off with a stick. I don't suppose you could teach my brother to do that? He might _actually _get a girlfriend then… but I'm not holding my breath."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "I imagine Rito would make a terrible butler. He'd end up tripping and spilling a drink on a customer's clothes making them go see through."

"That sounds like my brother," Mikan admitted exasperatedly.

"I am still here you know?" Rito sighed.

"We know," Naruto and Mikan replied in sync before laughing at Rito's dejected expression.

"Well I'd best be getting home." Naruto waved good bye to the Yuuki family. "I'll see you at school tomorrow Rito, I'll see you around I guess Mikan-chan."

"See you later!" The brother and sister waved him off before going back into their house.

"Those two seem to get along really well in a healthy sibling kind of way." Naruto sighed wistfully. "I guess I am the only one with a messed up family life. I wonder what it would be like if Kushina acted more like my mother."

Naruto scowled as he recalled a scene from a dream he had.

_A red haired woman leered at him. "Do mommy a favour and die."_

"No…" Naruto shook his head, "Maybe it's for the best that she doesn't." He muttered as he entered his house to a scene of absolute destruction. "Have we been robbed?!" He stepped on a broken piece of glass and suddenly a demonic figure charged into the room revving a chainsaw.

"DIE YOU PINK HAIRED SUCCUBI! I WILL oh hello Naruto it's you. I thought Lala had returned." Kushina stopped yelling and put down the chainsaw she was carrying.

"Do I want to know?" Naruto asked.

"I have to protect my Naru-chan from alien herpes," Kushina replied without any hint of shame.

"Don't you mean Harpies?" Naruto tried.

"I know what I said," Kushina smiled evilly. "I won't let my precious Naru-chan get anything from that space harlot! You should just gave sex with me! I'm STD free." Kushina winked at Naruto.

"It is days like this that make me wonder if I should be visiting a therapist." Naruto rubbed his temples ignoring the parts of libido that were screaming 'Hell yes!'

"Ooh…" Kushina smirked and somehow changed into a naughty nurse cosplay. "Do you want to play the sexy therapist and her sexy, sexy patient?"

"I feel that when you use that title you have missed a space out between the e and r of the therapist."

"I have no idea what you mean," Kushina replied huffily.

"I have to get some sleep." Naruto shook his head, "I am too tired to deal with this right now. If you want to play nurse then find someone else."

"Fine, maybe I will!" Kushina stormed out of the house.

Naruto paused for a second before running to the door and opening it. _'I didn't mean to hurt her feelings." _He took a deep breath to apologise, "I didn't…" Naruto started before Kushina pounced on him.

"I can't do it!" Kushina crushed Naruto's head between her breasts. "Only my Naru-chan gets to do those sorts of things to me!" She released her son and ran to the corner of the room that had been miraculously unharmed by Kushina's rage and sat down before the shrine. "I'm sorry Minato-kun… it's not you it's Naruto. He is just _so _much hotter than you. Yes he even beats you there. How do I know? It is a mother's duty to know such things. There's nothing wrong with it! Besides would you rather me let some intergalactic space tramp take our son's first? You would?! Well of course you would! I remember the strange alien cosplay fetish you had!" Kushina turned her back to the shrine. "Well no matter. Tonight I will take Naru-chan's first time!" She started to giggle perversely. If one were to notice it would almost looks as if the shrine was sweat dropping.

"Suddenly I get the feeling I should invest in a lock for my room." Naruto retreated from Kushina never turning his back to her until he was in his room then he turned and froze.

"Hi!" Lala waved. "Do you like my new dress?"

"Gargh." Naruto's brain had actually shut down. She was wearing a long black dressed with a long cut down the legs revealing her things. The dress also left little to the imagination when it came to her breasts. She had her hair curled up and she looked like some sort of glamorous actress looking at him with those loving eyes. He also noticed the bright orange hair clip of a fox in her hair. After managing to reboot his brain he managed to say, "It looks… wow."

"I'm glad you like it!" Lala bounced happily causing a very pleasant sway in her chest. _'I'm glad I asked Momo for help! It was worth the effort of inviting her to Earth!' _

He backed away. "I need to… get a snack." He headed to the kitchen to grab a snack and recollect his mental defences. Bad move.

"Oh Naru-chan," Kushina was wearing an apron and nothing else. "What do you want to eat? A sandwich, a desert or maybe… me?" She dropped the apron revealing her figure. Only a ribbon that would be wrapped around a present hid her most intimate areas from Naruto's view and it looked like that ribbon was awfully tight and could snap at any time. Naruto stood hoping it would before he realised it was his mother (_step mother actually _a new voice in his psyche commented) and he backed away trying to pull his eyes off of her beautiful figure.

"Cold shower." Naruto squeaked before racing towards the bathroom and threw his clothes to the floor before slipping on something and staggering into the already running shower.

'_Hey Naruto… this is your subconscious. I am going to point out two tiny facts to you. One… why was the shower running when you entered the bathroom and two just what is it that you slipped on?' _

Naruto looked down and saw a pair of girl's panties on his foot. _'So that's what I slipped on but… oh hell no.' _

"Oh my," an unfamiliar female voice sounded from behind him. Naruto slowly turned around and saw two girls looking at him. They both looked down at Naruto Junior before one of them covered her eyes.

"Filthy beast!" She yelled. "Are you here to assault us?!" She threw a bar of soap at Naruto who stood dumbfounded as it hit him on the face and bounced off.

"So you are Naruto?" The other smiled.

"Urgh…" Naruto tried not to look at their naked bodies. Keyword tried.

"Gah! Stop staring at me with those hungry eyes!" The one who called him a filthy beast tried to shield her body from his eyes.

"Gargh!" Naruto turned his back to the girls and put both hands on the wall before repeated head-butting the wall until his passed out.

"Momo, Nana are you two finished?" Lala walked in and saw Naruto sliding down the wall into blissful unconsciousness. "No fair!" Lala pouted. "You got to shower with Naruto!"

"SAY WHAT?" Kushina tore into the bathroom. "Oh gods… The Space Succubi are multiplying! I'll save you Naru-chan!" Kushina summoned a chainsaw in each hand. "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" She roared as she chased the three girls around the house.

That night only Naruto got any sleep (if you can count knocking yourself unconscious to suppress your libido sleep). By four o'clock in the morning a truce was called. This lasted exactly six minutes after which Kushina and Lala tried climbing into Naruto's bed. All hell broke loose shortly after.

Momo watched with a smile. It was good to see her Onee-sama so energetic. She had always been so sad and lonely, even when she played with her and Nana back home. She promised herself she would do what she could for Lala. Plus this Naruto had earned papa's interest and in turn her own. She decided she would take this opportunity to test Naruto's feelings for her Onee-sama. She definately wasn't just staying here to avoid doing her studies. Not at all.

There was one fatality this night and it was the chance of Naruto having a normal life.


	6. Chapter 6: It's a Devilukian Thing

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Just a quick note to any Ninja Pirate fans. The next chapter is done and is currently being beta read. It should be uploaded at some point this month.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: It's a Devilukian thing<p>

Naruto yawned as he made his way to school. He had woken up alone and got dressed only to find Lala and Kushina passed out downstairs. Judging by the state of the living room, Kushina had been chasing her around the house until she had passed out from exhaustion. Lala must have passed out shortly afterwards.

"Man you sound tired."

Naruto jumped out of his skin as he turned to face the speaker. "You! You were in the bathroom last night!"

"That's me! Momo Deviluke at your service," She curtsied with a cheeky smile. "I'm Lala's little sister."

"Er… Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto blushed. "Sorry about last night. I seem to have a habit of meeting devilukian princesses when I am in the shower."

"Oh don't apologise," Momo shook her head. "I should have locked the door last night."

"I wasn't aware that Lala had sisters."

"There is me and my twin sister Nana, she is the one I was in the bathroom with. Sorry about her cruel words."

"Well I guess I did deserve them," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Hardly," Momo shook her head. "I must admit you gave me quite the shock when you charged in there. Was there a reason?"

"Just Lala and my mother," Naruto shrugged, "It's nothing you need to worry about. Just teenage hormones playing up."

"I see," Momo stared into the distance. "Do you love Onee-sama?"

"I… I like her," Naruto sighed. "But to say I love her seems a little far-fetched."

"I see," Momo nodded to herself. "Well I suppose I will see you later Naruto-san. Thank you for looking after my sister."

"What a nice polite girl." Naruto smiled as he continued walking towards school. As usual Haruna met up with him and the two continued walking in silence.

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna glanced at her friend, "You seem… distracted today."

"Yeah," Naruto rubbed his forehead. "Lala had her younger sisters come over and I didn't make the best first impression."

"How so?"

"I kind of walking in on them in the shower," Naruto admitted. "I didn't even know they were visiting until I turned around and there they were."

"I see," Haruna chuckled.

"What?"

"I was just thinking, you seem more animated lately. I think Lala is having a positive effect on you."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Hmm." Naruto looked ahead.

"By the way," Haruna cleared her throat. "I went shopping yesterday with Lala. She said she was going to buy a dress to celebrate you acknowledging her feelings."

"Gargh," Naruto slapped himself as the image of Lala in the sexy dress threatened to provoke an unwanted biological reaction. "Er… yeah she did. It was… a nice dress. I think she is starting to grow on me."

"I see," Haruna stared ahead.

"Something wrong?" Naruto was snapped out of his thoughts on Lala.

"Oh nothing," Haruna smiled distantly. "By the way… where does Lala live? She mentioned that she would be waiting for you in her new dress so I was wondering if she had access to your house or if you just visited her regularly."

"She… kind of lives with me. In our guest room." Naruto rubbed the back of his head not adding the mental '_but she sleeps in my bed most of the time.' _

"Oh!" Haruna blinked, "I assumed she lived close to you but I never thought she lived with you."

"Didn't I tell you that I had a guest at my house a few days ago?"

"The one you thought had left," Haruna nodded, "I see so that was Lala-san."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded.

"She must be happy." Haruna stared at the sky. "Being able to spend so much time with someone you love…"

"I guess," Naruto smiled. "She always seems so full of life. I just wish I could do something for her. She gives me her love and so far all I really have done is give her a place to stay."

"She was right," Haruna faced Naruto. "You believe she actually loves you."

"She has done nothing to prove otherwise," Naruto responded.

"But you said you haven't known her that long so how can you be sure she loves you?"

"Hang on a second. Just a few days ago you were hoping that I loved this mystery guest. Now you are acting like this. What gives?"

"I…" Haruna shook her head. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Your concern is noted," Naruto replied. "But I am a big boy now. I can take responsibility for my own actions."

"I didn't mean to offend you," Haruna apologised.

"It's okay," Naruto sighed. "I know you are just looking out for me but don't worry." Naruto laughed. "I always land on my feet. No matter what happens I will be okay."

Naruto and Haruna descended into a thoughtful silence as they approached the gates of the school and saw that a crowd had gathered.

"What is going on here?" Naruto muttered as they approached.

"You cannot just come in here and start harassing students!" Yui's voice sounded out over the murmur of the crowd.

"I would not expect one such as you to understand about love!" An unidentified male voice retorted. "I am here to win back the love of my beloved Lala! I do not have time to deal with you. Just reveal to me Naruto Uzumaki's location and I will leave the premises!"

"Well this doesn't sound good," Naruto sighed heavily. "I'll see you in class Sarenji-San. I'd best help Yui-chan out."

"Yui-chan?" Haruna blinked. "I didn't realise the two of you were on such good terms."

"Believe it or not, she is actually a nice person sometimes," Naruto whispered dramatically earning a giggle from Haruna.

"Just try not to get into trouble," Haruna responded as she watched him make his way through the crowd.

"It's like you don't even know me!" Naruto mock pouted before grinning and making his way through the crowd. As he reached the front it was quite clear Yui was reaching the end of her temper and the strange boy was refusing to move.

"I know Naruto Uzumaki is a student here. I will not leave until I have proved my manliness." The boy declared.

"May I ask who you are?" Naruto walked towards the boy.

"I am Ren Elise Jewelria and Lala's future husband." Ren declared proudly.

"I see," Naruto nodded.

"Do you know where I can find this Naruto?" Ren asked.

"I may have an idea," Naruto grinned. "Why I believe I saw him at the end of this street just a matter of minutes ago."

"Why thank you!" Ren shook Naruto's hand. "What does he look like?"

"Oh," Naruto smiled evilly. "He is bald and wears glasses and is fat and seems to exude an aura of perversion."

"Then I shall free Lala from his evil clutches!" Ren declared and raced in the direction that Naruto was pointing.

"Uzumaki-san," Yui nodded at Naruto. "Thank you for your assistance."

"No need to thank me," Naruto smirked. "I saw the principal down that way."

"I see," Yui scowled as she spotted Lala entering the school grounds. "Hey! Deviluke-san. You should inform any suitors of yours that… are you okay you look exhausted? "

"Didn't get any sleep," Lala mumbled as she walked past them. "…Couldn't sleep in Naruto's bed."

"What?" Yui blinked. _'She was in Naruto's bed and couldn't sleep because Naruto kept her awake with his… his… _Yui was unable to finish the thought without blushing crimson and completely misinterpreting Lala's sleepy grumbling.

"Pardon?" Haruna's eyes went wide. _'Can she not sleep unless she's in Naruto's bed? But she has been so lively the past few days which means… her and Naruto are sharing a bed!' _Haruna's interpretation was much closer to home.

"UZUMAKI-SAN!" Yui span around glaring at Naruto. _'To think I actually let him fool me yesterday into believing he was a nice person! I'll bet he was having impure thoughts about me in that maid's outfit… why does that make me feel happy? HE'S CORRUPTING ME!' _

"I didn't do it!" Naruto replied automatically before high tailing it away, Yui rapidly pursuing him.

"YOUR LECHEROUS WAYS PREVENTED LALA FOR SLEEPING AND YOU ARE CORRUPTING ME!"

"WHAT? I AM INNOCENT! MY MOTHER AND LALA WERE LOCKED IN A DEATH BATTLE LAST NIGHT AND THAT'S WHY SHE COULDN'T SLEEP!"

"YOUR LIES AREN'T FOOLING ANYBODY!"

Needless to say, there were quite a few new rumours about Naruto and Yui's relationship started that day and how he was corrupting her.

* * *

><p>Kushina smiled as she made her way out of the shopping centre with carrier bags full of food on her arms. Since Naruto <em>had <em>reacted to her last night that meant she had a chance of beating Lala to taking Naruto's first time. Admittedly the fact that her house had apparently become an unofficial Devilukian Embassy was a little unnerving but at least the two sisters had helped repair the house after the mess that was made last night.

Kushina scowled as she recalled the Devilukian twins. Nana seemed innocent enough even if all the young girl had done was call Naruto an animal and a filthy, perverted beast. Momo though… she worried Kushina.

Momo seemed to have an innocent personality but Kushina could sense a darkness inside her. She wondered why the twins were actually here. Lala had said she had asked them for help in winning Naruto's affections but Kushina couldn't help but worry they had alternative motives. After all if they really wanted to help her couldn't they do that over a telephone or whatever technology that have? Why were they so eager to take refuge in her and Naruto's love nest? No… their den of debauchery. Kushina started drooling imagining all the things that they would do. _'Maybe I should do the sexy nurse cosplay tonight. Or maybe the sexy kunoichi… or the monster girl collection of outfits I have! Maybe I should go for a kitsune Youkai or maybe a sexy neko. Oh what games me and Naru-chan will play!' _

So deep in her thoughts Kushina completely failed to notice the small group that were following her.

Sporting bandages and carrying baseball bats, the crew of Sharp Foot Soma tracked their target. After being completely humiliated the first time they thought Naruto then getting blown up as they tried to get their revenge they had come to the conclusion they would get their revenge against Naruto by attacking his precious people. The first target they had selected was Kushina.

They had been tailing her for an hour waiting for her to go to somewhere isolated.

"Damn," Soma growled as they tailed her. "Why won't this woman go somewhere isolated?"

"Er… Boss," One of the minions tapped him on the shoulder.

"What is it?" Soma span around and froze.

Charging towards them was a fat bald man who was wearing nothing but his underwear being chased by a white haired boy.

"STAY STILL UZUMAKI!" Ren yelled. "I WILL CRUSH YOU!"

"This is good too!" The Principal remarked as he dodged Ren's furious attacks.

The two charged over the panthers leaving them in a trodden pile on the floor.

"Damn it," Soma growled as he staggered to his feet. "I will have my revenge against Naruto Uzumaki!"

"**Oh… is that so?" **Kushina grinned evilly. **"You must be the corpses that have been causing my Naru-chan trouble." **She cracked her knuckles menacingly.

There was a pained cry that sounded out around the entire town.

* * *

><p>Naruto lay on the roof staring at the sky with a happy smile. Lala laid next to him and had quickly drifted off to sleep and rolled over in order to snuggle into his side. Part of him wanted to wake her up in case someone else walked up onto the roof but she looked so cute that Naruto decided he was willing to risk someone seeing them in order to let her catch up on her much needed rest. He lifted a stray strand of hair from her face and couldn't help feeling happy when she smiled and snuggled closer to him.<p>

There was a sudden blood curtling scream but Lala's response was just to snuggle closer to Naruto, who made no move to stop her.

Naruto was glad that Lala was in his life. Sure she made his life a little more hectic but at this point Naruto had accepted the fact he would never have an ordinary life. He seemed to be a weirdness magnet.

"UZUMAKI!"

"Speak of the devil," Naruto groaned as Ren stormed up onto the roof. Luckily he and Lala were out of view but it wouldn't be hard to find him should Ren start searching for him.

"I know you are up here!" Ren growled. "You must think you are so funny sending me after that pervert! Well I got the truth out of him! I know you are in fact a blonde sexual deviant who has his way with many women who cannot help but strip naked around you and you are the envy of men everywhere!"

'_Just who does the principal think I am?" _Naruto thought. _'If is stay quiet maybe he will leave. I don't want to disturb Lala's sleep.'_

"Fine then," Ren declared. "If that's the case then I guess I win."

'_What exactly do you win?' _Naruto thought to himself.

"I am the manlier of the two of us."

"THAT IS NOT TRUE!" Kenichi appeared at the stairs next to Ren. "The Mighty Manly Action Sage is far superior to you!"

'_Great another loud one,' _Naruto watched as Lala stirred in her sleep but didn't wake up.

"What?"

"You heard me. Why the Manliest Sage is probably in the gym storage area with Lala right now!"

"The bastard!" Ren yelled. "I will prove my manliness to Lala and take her back home with me!"

"I cannot allow you to interfere with the Manliest Action Sage!" Kenichi declared. "I will stall you long enough for him to finish his conquest of Lala!"

"Never!" Ren ran past Kenichi who watched him run by.

"I will keep him occupied master," Kenichi winked in Naruto's general direction before charging after Ren.

'_Kenichi… Thank you.' _He mentally saluted Kenichi and returned his attention to Lala. She was smiling happily.

"I wonder what you are dreaming of." He smiled softly and returned his attention to the sky. Then he froze as he saw a black dot come racing towards him. It got larger and larger until Naruto realised her was staring at spaceship that was roughly the same size as a bungalow. Before he could react a beam of light struck him and teleported him away, leaving his clothes behind which Lala proceeded to snuggle into, enjoying Naruto's scent.

Unlike Lala who was having pleasant dreams about her and Naruto's future children, Naruto was having a far more stressful time. He was currently stood naked in some sort of sandy room with a single beam of light shining on him and in the centre of the room.

"Welcome, Uzumaki-san," A dry female voice called out.

"Hello," Naruto replied. "Could I have some clothes please? I appear to have… lost mine."

"Very well. While the cheap portable teleportation devices that we buy from Deviluke are effective… they do seem to have problems with clothing." There was a bundle of brown robes thrown at him. Naruto pulled them on ignoring the itchy feeling.

"Man, now I look a Jedi or something," He muttered under his breath. "So… who are you?"

"My name is Gaia, Voice of the Clans of the planet Suna." She stepped into centre light. She looked slightly shorter than Naruto but had vivid red hair as well as thick black makeup under her eyes and a tattoo on her forehead that looked like the Japanese character for 'love'. Her skin looked rough as if it were made of sand paper but besides that she could pass for human.

"Nice to meet you," Naruto looked around. "Where am I?"

"You are on board my ship," Gaia remarked. "My sister and brother tell me you can summon water from the sky."

"I'll be completely honest," Naruto glanced around. "That is just how the weather is on Earth. We have rain fairly regularly on most parts of the Earth.

"I see," Gaia seemed in awe of the concept. "To have such a surplus of water must be a welcome relief."

"I guess we are just used to it." Naruto shrugged.

"I will not lie, I was hoping it was a power." Gaia shook her head. "Then it appears you will best serve my people by dying at the hands of my brother. Your blood will provide the Sands of Suna with the nourishment to save my people."

"Ah," Naruto frowned. "No chance of talking you out of that then?"

"No," Gaia shook her head. "I will do what I must for my people. Unfortunately If I kill you that would invalidate the agreement between Gid-sama and I. My brother will come for you shortly. When he finds you, may you die with honour." Gaia clicked her fingers and Naruto found himself back on the roof, once again naked.

"Well… that happened," Naruto was too deep in thought to register the sound of the door to the roof top opening, "And what does she mean an agreement with Gid? Did he choose Kankuro personally to try and kill me?"

"Who is up here? It is nearly time for classes," Yui paused as she saw Naruto naked stood over a sleeping Lala.

"I honestly have a good explanation for this," Naruto laughed uneasily.

"And that is?" Yui asked in a voice strangely devoid of emotion.

"I was abducted by aliens that think I have power to summon rain to their desert planet but their teleporter only transfers living material and after learning I couldn't help them they sent me back." Naruto replied honestly.

"I am going to give you time to get dressed." Yui stated emotionlessly.

"Why thank y…"

"So that when I am chasing you," Yui interrupted in the same cold tone. "People won't get the wrong idea."

"… Thanks." Naruto sighed.

Lala merely rolled over in her sleep with a happy sigh.

* * *

><p>Naruto suddenly woke up with a start. Yui had chased him all over the school yelling at him for indecent behaviour and exposing himself resulting in an very tired Naruto. He had hoped to sleep through the lecture on the reactive properties of group one metals where teacher was trying to keep them interested by dropping small blocks into some water. Big wow, it fizzled a little bit. Now there would be no way he could get back to sleep and judging by the clock there was still half an hour to go before the end of the day. How he wished for a distraction...<p>

"UZUMAKI!" Ren kicked the door to the classroom open. "Ah… Lala-sama! We are united at long last. I remain ever your devoted slave. Come with me and I will take you away from this place. Back to the home we once shared, to the place where our love first blossomed and I swore to become the man that you would one day marry. I come with your father's blessings!"

Naruto froze. _'Is this guy really that close to Lala?' _He scowled at the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach as he waited for Lala's response.

"Er… who are you?" Lala asked.

There was a dead silence in the class as Ren staggered backwards looking heartbroken. A silence that was broken by a strange noise, like someone trying not to laugh and failing.

"Uzumaki-san?" Haruna noticed that Naruto's shoulders were shaking.

"I'm sorry," Naruto wheezed out. "But after all that drama… she doesn't even know who he is!" Naruto let out a hearty laugh before muttering, "I don't know what I was so worried about."

"I see," Ren glared at Naruto. "You have brainwashed my fair Lala!"

"Listen," Naruto grinned, "I don't know what your issue is but I am trying to have a chemistry lesson here."

"Uzumaki-san you fell asleep for most of the lesson," The teacher remarked dryly.

"I said trying," Naruto admitted. "I may have not been entirely successful but I was at least trying. That's got to count hasn't it?"

"Yes," The teacher deadpanned. "You get an A for effort."

"Woohoo! My first A on a report card." Naruto cheered.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Ren growled. "I challenge you for Lala's hand in marriage."

"Denied," Naruto crossed his arms. "Lala's love isn't some sort of prize to be gambled away."

"Naruto," Lala beamed at Naruto and several girls whispered about how romantic he was being.

"What?" Ren looked shocked.

"If you truly loved Lala you would respect her decision and let her live how she wants." Naruto walked up to Ren and put a hand on his shoulder. "That is what it means to be a man. To feel true love is to let them go if that is what they want."

"Quick!" Kenichi yelled. "Pass me a pencil and paper. THIS MUST BE RECORDED! The Mighty Sage is passing down masculine wisdom onto us!" There was the scratching of pencils as the entire male population of the class minus Naruto and Ren started writing down Naruto's words.

"If only they were that eager to write lecture notes huh?" Risa remarked to the teacher, "Wait… are you writing that down as well?!"

"It's a good piece of advice that might help me score with someone," The teacher admitted without any sign of remorse. "Plus Uzumaki-san has a harem. He knows what it means to be a man."

"I see," Ren fought back tears. "You speak wisely! I will be the better man and leave her to her own life. Thus winning my bet with her that she would marry me if I became a better man and thus she must return home with me!"

"You are completely missing the point," Naruto sighed.

"So should I stop trying to make you fall in love with me?" Lala looked upset. "Would that be the right thing to do? Would that be what I should do if I truly love you?"

"You are not a man," Kenichi earned himself another metaphorical medal from Naruto, "Your love is pure and undistracted unlike a man's. That is why a man must let the woman follow her path, for he can never truly know if his love is true or just his libido! Women are pure beings and as thus have no such problems in identifying true love!"

"What he said," Naruto agreed.

"QUICK MY PENCIL BROKE!" Kenichi wailed, "How can I record this sagely advice!"

"Er… you were the one who just said it," Naruto deadpanned. "And isn't that a mechanical pencil. If it breaks you can just extend it further."

"But it was just words until you validated it with your acknowledgement!" Kenichi wailed. "And I am to overcome with emotion to carry out complicated tasks like operating a mechanical pencil!"

"I can't remember the last time we actually learnt anything in a lesson," Risa idly commented to Haruna who nodded with a smile.

"Enough!" Ren glared at Naruto. "I see you are trying to confuse me with words! Well it will not work! I swear that I will prove my manliness to you now!"

"Take 'em off!" Mio cried out.

"Pardon?" Ren paused.

"Aren't you going to 'flourish your sword'?" The Yaoi fanatic drooled. "And challenge Naruto to a 'Sword Fight' to prove who is the manliest?"

"A good suggestion," Ren nodded.

"You are completely missing the subtext of what she was saying," Naruto responded with a sigh.

"But I am completely in favour of seeing Naruto's 'sword'!" Risa raised a hand.

"You mean the bokuto that he owns?" Lala looked puzzled.

"You are so innocent Lala," Risa laughed. "I was talking about his manhood. You know. His 'thing'."

"Oh," Lala smiled, "I know what you mean. I've seen it but I don't understand how you would have a fight with it."

"Well I've got some reading material for you-urk!" Mio was dragged back as Risa pulled her by the collar.

"That aside," Risa blinked, "You have seen Naruto naked?"

"Oh yes," Lala smiled. "When we first met we were in a shower together."

"WWWHHHAATTT?!" The class cried out.

"I thought you said you first met when Naruto defeated the thugs who were forcing you to marry someone you didn't want to?!" Risa blinked, "How'd a shower get involved?"

"Well…" Lala blushed. Fortunately before she could go into Naruto's unintentional groping Ren found his voice.

"I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS!" He roared furiously before conjuring a sword from thin air. "Prepare to meet your maker!"

"What?" Naruto blinked and the class murmured about where the sword had come from.

"There is only one true test of manliness!" Ren declared. "A fight to the death!"

"Now don't you think you are going too far?" Naruto asked.

"Well you can always surrender and give up your claim to Lala." Ren stated.

"My 'claim'?" Naruto growled. "You speak as if Lala is an item! So long as I draw breath people like you will never have a say in Lala's future. She chooses her own path!"

"Naruto…" Lala seemed on the verge of tears as she clasped her hands together and looked at Naruto lovingly.

"Then die for my and Lala's happiness!" Ren lunged at Naruto who grabbed the sword in a glowing blue hand. Whisker marks appeared on his face.

"So long as there is breath in my body," Naruto growled, "I will protect Lala's happiness. So long as I can move, I will make sure she is always happy." He turned to Lala. "Do you want to be with this guy?"

"No," Lala beamed, "I love you Naruto!"

"There you have it," Naruto turned to hit Ren but stopped as the man was blubbering. "Er… Really?" His aura faded. "I kind of feel bad for you now."

"Oh I remember you!" Lala clapped her hands as Ren started crying. "Cry baby Ren! I used to dress you up as a girl back home!"

"I'm not a cry baby anymore! I'm a real man now!" Ren said between tears.

"Er…" Naruto felt sorry for Ren. He imagined how he'd have felt if he'd been in Ren's shoes and it was Rito and Haruna rather than him and Lala. Deciding to give the guy a break he said, "Only a real man could show his true feelings like that."

"So you accept that I am manlier than you?" Ren asked with a hopeful look on his face.

"No," Naruto smirked. "But maybe in time you will be."

"I see…" Ren clenched his fist. "In order to become a true man… I will study under you sensei!" Ren bowed to Naruto. "Until I am worthy of your love, I will not bother you anymore." Ren bowed to Lala. "I apologise for interrupting your class." Ren bowed to the teacher and the rest of the students. "Till we meet again!" He left the classroom.

"Getting back to the lecture," The teacher started.

"Wait Ren, can't we drag this out a little longer?" Naruto yelled. "Ren? Please?"

"Back to your seat Uzumaki-san." The teacher cleared his throat.

Naruto did so. If only there was another distraction… He glanced at the door to the classroom hoping to see some killer drones or a weird alien assassin.

Nothing happened.

"Figures," Naruto muttered as he laid his head on the desk.

* * *

><p>Soma dragged himself to the door of Uzumaki's house. While they weren't able to defeat his mother (and in fact had been severely thrashed by the red headed Demoness) they had come up with a plan to get revenge on Naruto without exposing themselves to danger. They would rob his house. According to their data the house had three residents, Naruto and Lala who were at school and Kushina who was trying to find somewhere to bury the minions that Soma had sacrificed in order to help the others to escape. This meant the house was empty and thus should pose no problem to the brave few panthers that remained.<p>

It should be said at this point that Soma and his crew are basically the punching bags of this story. Of course the house wasn't empty.

The Devilukian twins were sat watching TV and idly wasting time.

"How long until Chichi-ue sends someone to collect us?" Nana asked her sister who was staring into space.

"He's probably already sent a request to Zastin," Momo replied.

"I don't like this Naruto," Nana declared. "He walked in on us in the shower! Did you see his eyes?!"

"Yes… they were like a hungry beasts…" Momo drooled slightly. "I'll bet Naruto has ravished Onee-sama and she can't leave him knowing no man could ever satisfy her again!"

"Your mask is slipping," Nana deadpanned.

"Keh," Momo collected herself. "Well it was you who wanted to leave our studies and do something entertaining."

"Gah! Trying to act like the good one! How underhanded," Nana glared at her twin before smirking in a smug fashion. "But I can understand it."

"Oh?" Momo looked at Nana.

"After all," Nana laughed, "I am the superior twin! You must be so jealous of me!"

"**IS THAT SO?" **Momo's face turned evil. "**You are the 'superior' one?" **She grabbed Nana's tail causing the younger girl to gasp. "**Let's see just **_**how **_**superior you are!" **Momo smirked as she began to stroke and lick Nana's tail.

"N…No fair… my... Tail's off… limits…" Nana moaned.

"**Just admit that I am the greater twin." **Momo smirked

"Never!" Nana desperately grasped Momo's tail prompting a gasp from the plant loving twin.

"Ah!" Momo gasped. "Let…. Go…"

"You… first…" Nana replied.

The two managed to break apart and stood panting, glaring at each other.

"That was dirty," Momo remarked.

"You started it," Nana growled.

"**And now I am ending it," **Her dark expression returned as she pulled a phone like device out of nowhere. "**Oops. Looks like I accidentally summoned Shibarisuki-san in face up attack position." **The Uzumaki living room soon found itself destroyed as a tree that looked fresh out of a horror movie appeared which proceeded to wrap its vines around Nana's leg and lifted her up into the air.

"Aaah!" She flailed around trying to stop some of the tentacles that were getting a little too friendly for her taste before pulling out her own phone. "Let's see how you like this! Giga Wild Boar, Gii-chan! Use Take Down!"

"GIIIIIII!" A giant bore that was larger than a polar bear appeared and charged the giant Halloween tree demolishing the Uzumaki house as the two alien creatures began to fight.

"What the hell is going on here?" Soma blinked as the two monsters paused and turned their attention towards his crew.

"Bro…" One of the panthers started to speak before he was whisked up into the air by a vine. "I NEED AN ADULT!" The unfortunate panther screamed.

"WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING ?" Soma ran away tears streaming down his face as 'Gii-chan' charged after him. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS NEIGHBOURHOOD?!"

"Oops." Momo looked at the ruins that was once Naruto's house and turned to Nana. "This is your fault I hope you realise."

"What?" Nana blinked.

"It was your 'Gii-chan' who destroyed the house." Momo replied honestly. "And I think it chased after some humans."

"Well it was your tree creature that ruined the living room," Nana pouted. "And I'm pretty sure it is getting too touchy feely with the human it has wrapped in his vines."

"I THINK I AM DEVELOPING A NEW FETISH!" The unlucky panther yelled in ecstasy.

"… All humans are perverts," Nana glared.

"Haven't you ever thought of doing something ecchi with someone?" Momo asked.

"Bah! You should only do s-stuff like t-that when you are m-m-married!" Nana squeaked out.

"How cute…" Momo patted Nana on her head. "It is plain to see who the mature one of us is."

"STOP BRINGING YOUR BOOBS INTO THIS!" Nana fumed before grapping Momo's tail and starting the fight all over again.

* * *

><p>Naruto groaned as he left the classroom with Lala.<p>

"So about this Ren guy," Naruto looked at Lala, "You really didn't remember him?"

"He was always crying back home," Lala admitted. "I didn't recognise him without his tears."

"… And yet you still dressed him up in women's clothes?" Naruto started to feel a little bad for Ren.

"He looks really cute in them," Lala looked thoughtful, "And he always agreed to do it so I didn't really understand why he cried."

"Probably didn't want to do it but it was the only way he could think of getting your attention," Naruto remarked. "And what's this of a promise to marry him?"

"Well…" Lala looked embarrassed, "I have no recollection of ever making such an important promise. Not that I have to worry about it."

"How so?" Naruto turned to face Lala.

"Because you won't let him take me away." Lala beamed happily at him.

"You sound awfully confident." Naruto frowned.

"Of course I am!" Lala laughed. "After all didn't you say you were going to fight Papa because he was interfering in our marriage? If you are not scared of the strongest living being in the universe then how is a cry baby like Ren ever going to defeat you?"

"Just because I am willing to fight him doesn't mean I am physically capable of defeating him." Naruto shook his head. "I am only human after all."

"You managed to catch his sword strike," Lala pointed out. "You were able to use that glowing blue power again although no-one else seemed to notice," She looked thoughtful, "Maybe only Devilukians can see the glowing aura though. Ren didn't seem to react to it and none of the other students did either."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled softly. "I think I know what I have to do to draw on its power."

"And what's that?" Lala asked happily.

"It's a secret," Naruto grumbled. The last thing he needed Lala to know was that it was the fact he wanted to protect her that allowed him to use that power. It looked like what Bunta had said was true. Strength only came when you were fighting for someone else.

"Muu…" Lala pouted cutely. "I was hoping you'd say something like… 'My love for you gave me this power!'"

"My love for you?" Naruto shook his head. "Life tends not to be so romantic. Besides I like you but I don't love you at least not yet." Naruto grinned at her.

"But I won't give up making you love me." Lala proclaimed.

Naruto was about to reply when he recalled Lala's words to him not so long ago.

"_Does it hurt when you think of her not loving you back?" _

He froze.

"Naruto?" Lala looked worried.

"It's nothing," Naruto laughed weakly. _'Do I actually love her? I mean just look at how I felt when I thought that Ren was taking her away. Is that love?' _Naruto glanced at Lala who was happily walking beside him. She noticed his look and smiled at him. He smiled back before looking forward. _'I… can't possibly be falling in love with her can I? My feelings for Haruna shouldn't be so easily replaced…" _He frowned at the thought. _'Even now it still hurts when I think of Haruna… so how can I feel the same about Lala?'_

"Are you okay?" Lala looked concerned.

"I don't know," Naruto admitted. "I feel a little strange."

"Are you ill?" Lala looked worried. "Quick to the nurse's office!"

"I doubt she is in," Naruto shook his head and Lala pulled him to go with her. Naruto tried to resist but he remembered something very important just a moment too late. Lala was a Devilukian. Devilukians were _really _strong. He was human. Humans were much, much weaker. When she pulled, things stayed pulled. In this case Naruto's arm was pulled out of its socket and Lala and Naruto looked at the now dislocated arm.

"… I suppose now I have to go to the nurse's office." Naruto replied dryly.

"Sorry," Lala looked horrified and lead the way to the nurses' office constantly apologising.

When they entered Mikado took one look at his arm and told him to lie down on the bed, asking Lala to wait outside. She removed his shirt despite Naruto's protests in order to 'Get a good look at Naruto. And maybe the injury as well if she had time.'

"My, my." Mikado poked the arm. "That is well and truly dislocated. How'd you do that?"

"… I fell down some stairs?" Naruto offered.

"Here's some advice," Mikado smiled as she grabbed Naruto's arm. "If a Devilukian woman tells you to do something you do it."

"Wait... How do you know…?" Naruto's question was cut short by her putting his arm back in its socket.

"And done," Mikado winked as she walked to one side. "I have some other checks to make if that's okay."

"That hurt! Aren't you supposed to give me some sort of warning?" Naruto groaned. "And you said Devilukian!"

"That's right," Mikado smiled. "Let's just say there are quite a few aliens around these parts and they needed a doctor so I moved her to help them. I am an alien by the way," She showed him her pointed ears before concealing them in her hair again.

"Oh…" Naruto wasn't sure what else to say. "That's nice."

"That's it?" Mikado laughed, "I was expecting at least an annoyed 'How many of you damn aliens are there?' or maybe even a 'You as well Mikado-sensei?'"

"I feel like I could make a very bad pun about your figure but I think I'll let it pass."

"Oh?" Mikado raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

"I figured you were from outer space because your body is out of the world." Naruto said in a complete deadpan.

"You know if you'd have said that in a flirty way I might have let you touch my breasts." Mikado adjusted her cleavage.

"How have you not been fired from this job for sexual harassment? Oh wait. I just remembered who the principal is." Naruto sighed as he moved his arm around.

"It will be sore for a while," Mikado warned. "Now let me have a look at you."

Naruto stood up and tried not to blush as Mikado walked around him eyeing him up like a piece of steak.

"Nice muscle definition," She remarked.

"Thanks," Naruto looked around uneasily. "Is this really necessary?"

"You interest me Uzumaki," Mikado replied. "The number of times I have seen you in here with bad injuries yet seem to recover almost instantly. It's as if you are super human."

"Well I can do some sort of transformation apparently." Naruto replied. "I have a weird blue glowing aura that I use when I fight apparently."

"An aura?" Mikado blinked. "A human can't have an aura."

"Well… what is this then?" Naruto focused on his precious people and felt the invigorating energy rush through him.

"What are these?" Mikado whispered whilst gentling running her finger across his chest. While she couldn't see any aura she could see strange tattoos suddenly appear on Naruto's stomach and arms.

"What are what?" Naruto asked.

"You have strange markings on your stomach and arms." Mikado pulled out a sheet of paper and began sketching them. "I am not entirely sure what they are. They appear to be some sort of limitation program."

"Limitation program?" Naruto blinked.

"Basically you have nano-bots in your body doing something," Mikado muttered. "There markings on your chest are like a circuit board telling the nano-bots what to do. I've never seen such a complicated design as the one on your stomach. The ones on your arms are interesting but I think I could hazard a guess as to their purpose." She ran a hand through Naruto's hair, "Interesting… you appear to have one on your head as well. It is hidden under your hair. I would have to shave your head to get a good look at that."

Naruto glanced at a mirror with a scowl. His eyes seemed bluer than normal and he seemed to have six whisker like markings on his face but he couldn't see what Mikado was talking about.

"You won't be able to see them," Mikado advised. "These programs were designed to be invisible to humans. Don't worry I have no intention of shaving your head. Besides a program like that is probably either some sort of memory modifier or brain control."

"Memory modifier?" Naruto scowled. "Could it be causing me to forget things?"

"Possibly," Mikado shrugged. "I can't say for certain. I focused more on healing people. I know very little about nano-bot modification."

"You said you could hazard a guess to the markings on my arms?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Mikado nodded. "They appear to be strength limiters that tie into the seal on your chest. Should the seal falter the seals on your arms should drain all your strength. If I am reading the program correctly the seals on your arms could make a Devilukian about as strong as the average human. Someone really is scared of what you might do."

"Who though?"

Mikado chewed the end of her pen. "Isn't that the question? The program on your chest looks vaguely Devilukian but the other programs are just generic ones."

"Could Lala have put them on me?" Naruto asked, aware of her genius.

"Unlikely," Mikado shook her head. "Unless she met you nine years ago."

"What?" Naruto blinked.

"Those programs have been on you at least nine years judging by the degradation." Mikado remarked.

"Nine years?" Naruto scowled. "I didn't even know about aliens that long ago!"

"Well they clearly knew about you," Mikado looked thoughtful. "Did anything happen nine years ago?"

"I think my dad died…" Naruto scowled. "Or was that eleven years ago?"

"You can't remember?" Mikado raised an eyebrow.

"I think…eleven years ago me and my mum was robbed?" Naruto scowled as his head started to hurt. "Dad had died before then. Two years later my dad was murdered when… no that can't be right."

"Naruto?" Mikado grabbed him. "Stop trying to remember! The program on your head is responding!"

"But… how can he have murdered two years after he died?!" Naruto grabbed his head as the pain became unbearable.

"NARUTO!" Mikado slapped him to no avail. "Stop thinking about it! The program on your head is reacting strangely!"

"I…" A small trickle of blood dropped from his nose and he passed out.

_Naruto stared tears in his eyes as his father lay in the broken ruins of their house, a gaping hole in his chest. He tried to stem the blood flow with his bloody hands but failed. _

"_Daddy!" Naruto's eyes widened as his father smiled weakly, blood dribbling from his mouth._

"_This… this isn't your fault…" Minato coughed weakly. _

"_Now do mommy a favour and die." A cheerful voice that sounded smooth like chocolate whispered in his ear and then he felt a shooting pain in his chest and… _

"ARGH!" Naruto shot up panting and looking around. "What… where?" He glanced out of the window and saw that the sun was setting. "Right… the nurse's office." He rubbed his head and saw Lala sat on a chair next to him looking at him worriedly, although as soon as he turned to look at her she broke eye contact.

"Lala?" Naruto frowned.

"I'm sorry." Lala's voice was hoarse. "I hurt you."

"Oh that?" Naruto scowled as he tried to recall what he was thinking about before he saw Lala. _'Can't have been important.' _He decided with a shrug. "It doesn't matter."

"I didn't think…" Lala sobbed softly. "I never really thought things through but humans are much, _much _weaker than Devilukians and amongst Devilukians my strength is impressive. I suppose I am a monster to you… I completely upturned your life and never gave you a choice in the matter. It may only be a dislocated arm now but what if we have an argument and I lash out? What if a really strong assassin comes and kills you… I couldn't live in a world where you died…"

"Lala…" Naruto reached out to comfort her but she batted his hand away. "Where's this come from?"

"Please don't," Lala wiped some the tears from her face. "If you are kind to me… that will just make this harder." She pulled a strange gun from nowhere. "This is the memory-eraser I invented. After I use this you won't even remember me. I'll make everyone forget about me. This way you won't get hurt again. I'll make everything right again." She pointed the gun at Naruto. "I'll never forget you, my one true love." She pulled the trigger and Naruto fell back into the bed.

"Farewell," Lala put the gun away. "I'll leave with Ren and you can have your life back. It was fun while it lasted," Lala started to walk away.

"Idiot!" Naruto roared.

"What?" Lala pulled out the gun, "Why didn't it…"

"You say that you never gave me a choice and then pull this stunt?!" Naruto grit his teeth and got out of the bed. He felt a strange draft but that wasn't important right now. "Why not give me a choice now? ASK ME!"

"N…Naruto…" Lala whispered. "D… Do you…"

"Spit it out!" Naruto ordered

"Do you want me to leave you?" Lala yelled through her tears. _'If he says yes… I don't think I could carry on…' _

"HELL NO!" Naruto roared and grabbed her in a bear hug, feeling her breasts against his naked chest. "So what if my life is in danger? I laugh in the face of danger! So what if I can't be with Haruna? You being here has had no impact on that so why should you leaving change things there? I will get stronger. I will defeat _any _assassin that comes after me and when it is all over… well we'll just have to see won't we?" Naruto raised her chin so she was looking him in the eyes. "After all, didn't you say you were going to make me love you? Didn't you say we were going to get married? Didn't you say that _no matter what I said _you would make me love you?!" Naruto grinned at her, "Well I didn't have you down as a quitter!"

"But you might get hurt…" Lala started.

"If I get hurt I can heal!" Naruto replied dismissively. "But if you think that removing my memories of you will make my life better, all you'll be doing is giving a wound that won't heal that I don't fully understand! Don't you understand? You are a precious person to me!"

"Naruto…" Lala's eye widened.

"So do me a favour," Naruto whispered. "Don't cry from sadness. It hurts me to see you cry."

"I…" Lala sobbed.

"Promise me," Naruto held out his pinkie finger. "Promise you'll never do something as stupid as wiping my memories and leaving me."

"I promise," She completed the pinkie promise, "I promise I will never leave you. I will stand by you forever."

"Good," Naruto released Lala from the hug. "Because between you and me, I think you may be making some progress."

"Really?" Lala looked as if her birthday, Christmas (or the Devilukian equivalent) and any other big holidays had all come at once.

"Maybe," Naruto smiled. "But you've still got a long way to…"

He was silenced by Lala kissing him. It wasn't a deep kiss nor was it a long one. Just a quick peck on the lips but both Naruto and Lala felt as if a surge of electricity had gone through them when their lips connected.

"Lala…" Naruto stared into her eyes.

"Naruto..." Lala muttered.

"That was... wow." Naruto chuckled.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help myself," Lala blushed.

"Don't apologise…" Naruto rubbed the back of his head. The two stood in a comfortable silence when suddenly the door was ripped open.

"**No… don't apologise," **a demonic voice cut killed the romantic mood. "**JUST DIE YOU PINK HAIRED ALIEN SUCCUBI!" **

"Mother?" Naruto blinked as he saw a glaring Kushina cracking her knuckles. Momo and Nana were there also. Momo staring at him strangely and Nana covering her eyes with her hands and blushing red.

"Oh my," Momo smiled. "I see you and Onee-sama are getting along well."

"You saw the kiss?" Naruto blinked.

"**You…kissed…" **Kushina staggered as if she'd been punched.

"If you hadn't seen that then why would you think…?"

"You're kind of naked," Momo informed him.

"MIKADO-SENSEI!" He yelled as he tried to cover his goods. He had been so caught up in his emotions that he hadn't realised.

"GIVE YOUR MOMMY A NAKED KISS TOO!" Kushina roared as she chased after a naked Naruto leaving a blushing Lala with her sisters.

"Is the wild beast gone?" Nana asked.

"Yes," Momo nodded. "I see you are making progress Onee-sama."

"Hai," Lala smiled warmly. "I am lucky to have found my true love! I hope you girls are as lucky."

"Yes," Momo replied distantly. She had arrived long before Nana and Kushina and had witnessed pretty much the entire conversation and Naruto had defied her expectations. The passion behind his words to Lala had awoken something in Momo. She wanted someone to speak to her with such passion as he held her close against his chest, his passionate eyes staring into the depths of her soul and accepting her for being her before ravishing her body and introducing her to pleasures she had never even dreamed of. She twiddled her hair thoughtfully. "Say Onee-sama… does he know that he will become the heir to the empire if he marries you?"

"I have mentioned it a few times."

"And does he know what responsibilities he will have?"

"I think so," Lala nodded. "Why?"

"No reason," Momo glanced in the direction Naruto had run off in. "No reason at all. I think I should get to know our future brother-in-law a little better."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Lala agreed.

"It does?" Nana glanced at her two sisters. "But won't papa send some to take us home?"

"Maybe," Momo smiled, "But I am sure that Uzumaki-san would be willing to talk to Papa for us. After all I heard he was able to convince Papa for Lala's sake."

"Really?" Nana scoffed, "That beast was able to convince Papa?"

"Yes... That _beast _of a man," Momo smiled as she began to work out the details in her head. This could be _very _interesting.

"He is really something special." Lala smiled. "There are quite a few Earth women who like him too though..." Lala looked sad. "And Naruto doesn't want to hurt them."

"He does know that polygamy is accepted and in the case of the emperor encouraged right?"

"He believes in monogamy," Lala sighed, "Oh well let's go home."

"Okay Ane-ue," Nana followed Lala unaware of the expression on Momo's face.

"He believes in monogamy huh," Momo twirled her hair around her finger, "Challenge accepted."

"Why did I get a shiver down my spine just now?" Naruto wondered as he ran around the school grounds, his mother in close pursuit.

"STOP RUNNING AND JUST HAVE SEX WITH YOUR STEP-MOTHER DAMMIT!" Kushina growled as she gained ground on him only to be tripped up by a new contestant. A female who had been cleaning her classroom diligently when she heard someone running around the school after hours. And because the world loves screwing with Naruto there was only ever going to be one person who that was.

"UZUMAKI! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AROUND NAKED?! AND WHO IS THIS IMMORAL WOMAN CHASING YOU?" Yui Kotegawa growled. _'Only I get to chase Naruto!' _She chased after Naruto leaping over the fallen Kushina, who merely yelled expletives and resumed her own chase of the blonde haired protagonist.

"How can this get any worse?" Naruto bemoaned.

"GIIIIII!"

"…WHERE THE HELL DID THIS GIANT BOAR COME FROM?!" Naruto roared with tears in his eyes. "Why does the world keep messing with me?"

"I feel your pain bro." Soma pried open the boars mouth and nodded at his brother in suffering before getting swallowed by the boar again.


	7. Chapter 7: Behold Excalibur

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: Well the poll isn't helping me decide with Haruna in or out of the Harem at all. She has exactly 50% of the votes as of the time I wrote this A/N.

Nothing much to add here. Some plot development and Naruto encounters a few of the Love Ru canon antagonists.

Poll Results

Total Voters: 266

1) Yui Kotegawa ** 233** [7%]

2) Kushina Uzumaki **231** [7%]

3) Lala Satalin Deviluke **229** [7%]

4) Momo Belia Deviluke **226** [7%]

5) Golden Darkness (Yami) **209** [6%]

6) Risa Momioka** 207** [6%]

7) Mikan Yuuki **198** [6%]

8) Ryouko Mikado **191** [6%]

9) Nana Astar Deviluke **186** [5%]

10) Kyouko Kirisaki **152** [4%]

11) Rin Kujou **142** [4%]

12) Saki Tenjouin **141** [4%]

13) Run Elsie Jewelria (Ren's female side) **140** [4%]

14) Naruko Uzumaki (Fem Naruto) **125** [3%]

15) Haruna Sarenji **125** [3%]

16) Riko Yuuki (Fem Rito) **104** [3%]

17)Oshizu **104** [3%]

18) Mio Sawada **96** [3%]

19 Aya Fujisaki **90** [2%]

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or To Love Ru. This is a non-profit tribute/parody. If people paid me to write this the updates would probably be more regular. But then the copywrite police would kick my arse.

* * *

><p>Chapter 7: Behold Excalibur!<p>

Naruto yawned as he walked to school, Lala hanging off of his arm and beaming. Last night had been exhausting. After finally convincing his mother and Yui to stop chasing him he had finally gotten dressed and made his way back home, only to find his house was completely destroyed and Lala's sisters looking especially guilty. While the Devilukians repaired the Uzumaki house Zastin had offered the sleeping quarters of his ship to Naruto and Kushina. The military style single beds meant that neither his mother nor Lala could climb into his bed (Not for lack of trying though). As such Naruto managed to wake up feeling refreshed for the first time in a while.

Lala shared his good mood, still riding on the emotional high from yesterday. His mother however claimed she was low on 'Son' power and needed intense amounts of physical contact to recharge her batteries. The last Naruto had seen of her she was fighting Zastin's minions who were trying to stop her using a high powered laser to cut through the security door Naruto had requested on the shower whilst he was showering.

"Good morning Uzumaki-san, Lala-san," Haruna smiled politely at the two.

"Sarenji-san," Naruto waved cheerfully with his free arm.

"Haruna-chan!" Lala released Naruto and ran up to her. "Good morning!"

"It is isn't it," Haruna smiled at Lala's easy going nature. "You seem happy this morning."

"Oh…" Lala blushed, "Well last night… Naruto and I…"

"What?" Haruna tilted her head.

"We kissed!" Lala let out a strange high pitched squeal.

"You… kissed?" Haruna blinked stupidly. "I… really?" She turned to her childhood friend.

"Well I suppose it would be more accurate to say she kissed me." Naruto confirmed.

"I see." Haruna smiled strangely. "Good for you."

"Thanks," Lala hugged Naruto's arm and walked beside him again.

"You two certainly look like a happy couple now."

"We do?" Naruto blinked. "But we aren't a couple… are we?"

"Muuu." Lala pouted cutely, "You take a girl's first kiss but don't take responsibility?"

"It was a kiss," Naruto shook his head, "It wasn't as if I got you pregnant! Besides you kissed me."

"Uzumaki-san," Haruna scolded Naruto, "A girl's first kiss is very important!"

"It is?" Naruto blinked.

"Hai," Lala nodded, crossing her arms. "I can only have one first kiss you know?"

"I guess that is true…" Naruto scowled. "But surely you kissed your dad or mom before?"

"They don't count," Lala shook her head.

"Somehow I feel if you asked my mother she'd say they do count," Naruto muttered under his breath.

The group travelled in silence to the school. Naruto was deep in thought trying to work out just what his relationship was with Lala. Haruna was wondering what to make of the change in Naruto and Lala's relationship and Lala was simply enjoying Naruto not trying to make her let go of his arm. The group were largely unaware of the many sets of eyes watching them and gossiping. One such pair of eyes belonged to a certain star pitcher (and closet pervert) of Sainan High.

As they entered the school Naruto caught a baseball that had been thrown at him with impressive accuracy.

"Wow!" Lala applauded.

"Uzumaki-san, are you alright?" Haruna asked.

"Fine," Naruto smiled. "You two head on to class. I have to return this ball to its owner." The girls nodded and Lala lead the way, chatting loudly to Haruna. Naruto narrowed his eyes and locked onto the culprit.

"Motemitsu-teme," Naruto growled as he threw the ball in the air and caught it.

"Uzumaki," Motemitsu smirked cockily. "How did a second rate thug like you get a girl like that?"

"OOOH! Just like Motemitsu-sempai! Not hiding his jealousy at being unable to get a girlfriend!" his fellow baseball players remarked.

"It's called a personality," Naruto retorted, "Maybe you should try and develop one."

"AAAH! As expected of the Manly Sage!" The baseball minions remarked, "Not backing down in the interests of his harem!"

"Wait what?" Naruto blinked. "Have you guys been talking to Kenichi or something?"

"We are eagerly awaiting volume 6 of 'Manly Quotes of the Manly Action Sage."

"… Kenichi is actually turning what I say into books?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "It's one thing to quote me it is another thing to be me."

"SUCH SAGELY ADVICE!"

"Anyway…" Naruto decided to ignore Motemitsu's minions. "Why do you care about Lala anyway?"

"Tch," Motemitsu scoffed, "You should just let that cute transfer student date me."

"If she had any interest in you I'd let her date you." Naruto remarked as he spun the baseball on his finger. "Okay that's a blatant lie. I would never be cruel enough to let any girl date you." He threw the ball with a little bit of his aura power at Motemitsu who caught it and tried to hide his flinch as the pain of the ball hitting him.

"Alright then I challenge you to a contest!" Motemitsu declared as he threw a baseball bat to Naruto. "If you can hit my super special high speed blitzing pitch then I will accept defeat but if I win you will hand Lala over to me."

"OOOH! He is indeed Motemitsu-sempai! Such a one sided deal!"

"Denied," Naruto shook his head as he caught the bat. "I don't gamble with the feelings of the people I care about!"

"It isn't as if you love the girl is it?"

"Love her… well I guess I might…" Naruto was deep in thought.

"And if you cannot hit this pitch Lala-chan is all mine!" Motemitsu pitched towards the distracted Naruto who hit it back on reflex. The ball shot straight back at the pitcher and smashed into his face knocking him clean out.

"As expected of Motemitsu-sempai… complete washout." His minions left him on the floor and went to class.

"I mean would it be so bad if I did love her?" Naruto rested the bat on his shoulder. "I mean she loves me right? And Sarenji said she'd prefer us to be friends… GARGH! Why do I still feel as if I am betraying her?!"

"UZUMAKI-SAN!"

"… Yui-chan," Naruto sighed and slowly turned to face a glaring Yui.

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui blushed before returning to her previous rage. "Why are you going around beating up students?"

"I'm not." Naruto paused to take in the fact he was holding a baseball bat and there was an unconscious student out cold on the floor. "That was self-inflicted. He threw a ball at me when I was distracted and I hit the ball back at him. Hitting him was completely accidental."

"Like I'd believe such an obvious lie!" Yui scowled. "As punishment you will be cleaning out the PE equipment storage room after school!"

"Do you even have the power to do that?" Naruto asked. "Actually you are a cute girl. You could probably get the principal to give you unlimited power."

"C…Cute?" Yui turned crimson. "Y… You can't distract me with flattery!" Yui tried not to sound too happy about Naruto's unintentional compliment.

"Huh?" Naruto put a hand on her forehead. "You're burning up Yui-chan. Do you need to see the nurse?"

"PE storage after school!" Yui squeaked before retreating.

"Huh," Naruto frowned. "It's almost as if… no that's not possible." Naruto shook his head. "I'm not the kind of guy who has multiple women interested in him." He started walking to his classroom. "If so then maybe Haruna-chan would…" Naruto shook his head quickly. "No point thinking about what will never be."

* * *

><p>"Wow," Kushina whistled as she walked around the newly built house. Despite looking like the average house on the outside, once you were inside it was much, much larger. It was practically a mansion all style as a traditional Japanese castle. There were all sorts of Devilukian gadgets everywhere. Minato's shrine was now located on a hovering table. Kushina had noticed that Naruto's room was now home to a massive bed that was probably the size of his old room and that Lala didn't have her own room. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the two devil spawn were on their sister's side (If somewhat unwillingly in the case of Nana) and were just another obstacle placed between her and her precious Naru-chan but the harder the battle the sweeter the victory.<p>

"I'm glad you like it," Momo smiled. "This entire house holds the most hi-tech defences so if any of the assassins try and kill Naruto he should be safe so long as he is in here."

"Assassins?" Kushina froze.

"Oh yeah," Nana nodded. "There are many who want to marry Ane-ue and the only way to do that now is to remove the perverted beast from the picture."

"So let me get this straight," Kushina was wearing a completely fake smile. "Every instant my little Naru-chan is out of this house he is potentially in danger from some alien assassin who is physically stronger and technologically more advanced that we humans?"

"Yeah," Nana nodded.

"And this is all your sister's fault?" Kushina's eye was twitching.

"It was hardly Onee-sama's fault," Momo shook her head. "It is our father's fault more than anyone else."

"Then my course is clear," Kushina cracked her knuckles. "I must protect my Naru-chan at all times! How can I rest knowing that his capacity to make babies with me is in jeopardy?"

"… Have you ever considered that your actions are a little indecent?" Momo asked.

Nana gave a snort.

"**Did I say something funny?" **Momo's death glare caused Nana to freeze up.

"There is nothing indecent about love." Kushina smiled. "I love him with all my heart and all my soul. If something were to happen to him I'd… I wouldn't be able to carry on without him."

"That's kind of romantic," Nana admitted.

"The thought of Naruto bending me over and completely ravishing me is the only thing that gets me through some days." Kushina added. "Other days it is the thought of him trying me up and doing this and that… ooh and more of that…" Kushina started to drool.

"…All earthlings are perverts," Nana declared with disgust. "AND WHY ARE YOU BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE NEE-CHAN!"

"I accidentally face palmed my nose," Momo smiled.

"LIKE HELL I'M GOING TO BELIEVE THAT!"

* * *

><p>There was a cry of surprise as the male student found that the football at his feet as suddenly missing as Naruto easily took the ball and passed it down field to Rito, who managed to get the ball cleanly and narrowly missed scoring.<p>

Watching the males of the class play football (or soccer if you prefer) were the girls of the class, at least the girls that weren't running laps. Currently Lala was cheering Naruto on whilst Haruna, Risa and Mio simply sat and watched them run around.

"That's good," Mio nodded. "Yuuto is a good pairing they work well together."

"Yuuto?" Lala blinked.

"She means Naruto and Yuuki in a homosexual pairing," Risa sighed. "Mio has started doing this since her Yaoi fetish was exposed."

"But wouldn't they be good together?" Mio argued. "Just picture it…"

_Mio's Imagination._

"_Naruto… be gentle," Rito looked away shyly trying to cover his slender form. _

"_I can't make that promise… You __**will **__be sore by the time I'm through with you. There'll be pain..." Naruto lifted Rito's face to his own. His muscular body a direct contrast to Rito's frailer body. "But it's a good pain." They got closer to each other…_

_And cut away to a flower that loses its petals amongst Rito's moans._

_End Imagination _

"Substitute Rito for me and you have my dreams most nights," Risa muttered under her breath.

"Yuuki-kun and Naruto-kun aren't like that!" Haruna squeaked.

"Naruto-kun?" Lala tilted her head as Haruna blushed at her mistake.

"Ooh?" Mio's eyes glistened. "I see how it is…"

_Mio's Imagination_

"_I'm sorry," Haruna turned her back to the naked forms of Naruto and Rito. "I can't choose one of you." _

"_That's okay," Naruto hugged her from behind his firm manhood pressed against her lower cheeks sending a pleasant flush through her body. "For the sake of my most precious person… I'm willing to share." _

"_I love you too much to not have you… even if it means sharing." Rito hugged her from the front as Naruto started nibbling on her ear. _

"_Please…" Haruna's voice was husky. "Take me… both of you at the same time…." _

_End Imagination_

"Mio!" Risa chastised. "You've broken Haruna-chan!" Haruna had frozen and gone white.

"Naruto wouldn't share with another man!" Lala protested. "It would be more like Naruto with multiple women!" She confidently stated.

"Lala…" Risa put a hand on her shoulders. "That image is going to cost me half an hour in the showers after class."

"What?" Lala looked confused.

"Never mind," Risa smiled.

* * *

><p>The Devilukian High Security Prison was where you were sent to die if for some reason or another you couldn't be killed outright. Whether it be for political reasons or because you were genuinely indestructible, should you get on the wrong side of the Devilukian Empire your last destination would be a fortified cell. It was full of the most high tech defence systems and there had never been a successful escape. It was a floating fortress the size of Earth and was guarded by a fleet of Devilukian Cruisers. Attempting a jail break was a suicidal course of action.<p>

That didn't mean people didn't try and the guards were happy to have a minor distraction from their thankless task of keeping the worst scum of the universe sealed away. In fact today another attempt was being made although this one was having more success than the usual attempts. He had already got aboard the main fortress and made his way deep into the underbelly of the prison complex. This intruder was currently on his way to one of the cells in the deepest part of the space fortress. The large cloaked figure made his way down a steel corridor with his entire body covered by a thick black cloak that blocked the scanners and minimalized his heat signature. It also had quite a few hidden gadgets that had cost a small planet to obtain. Or at least they would have cost that if the intruder was the kind of person to pay for the stuff he needed rather than kill its current owner and claim them for himself.

Several cameras watched the cloaked figures every move as he strolled down the corridor, sensing his movement but not his actual presence. Automated turrets followed him waiting for him to do anything aggressive yet the figure strolled down without a care in the world. He walked up to the end of the corridor whistling a happy tune. The corridor lead itself into a large spherical room with a single pathway that walked through the middle of the spherical room.

At the end of the walkway there was a massive door that looked like the entrance to the world's largest safe. Lining the walls were a few heavy laser weapons designed to take down capital class ships (as if one could ever fit down the corridor the intruder had just taken), there were innumerable smaller laser turrets capable of reducing the largest of armies to vaporised ashes which was overkill considering the walkway and corridor would mean only a group of five could fit through and that would be shoulder to shoulder with very little room for any evasive manoeuvres. There were also several heavy missile emplacements. All of which were tracking his every step. For a laugh he decided to dance, amusing himself as he got the turrets to bob their guns in time to a beat only he could hear. He continued walking towards the gate and found a checkpoint with two bored looking guards who suddenly sprung to attention as he approached them.

"HALT!" Two heavily armoured guards crossed halberds with blades of glowing green energy. Their tails gave away their Devilukian species.

"Okay," The cloaked figure stopped.

"We have no records of any prisoner visits for this cell." One of the guards stated.

"This prisoner is not allowed any visits." The other scowled at the intruder. "How did you get past the other gateways?"

"I explained my situation," The intruder smiled.

"Gatepost Sigma this is Gatepost Omega. Report!" The guard on the left talked into a headset. "Sigma Report!"

"I'm afraid they won't answer you!" The intruder laughed playfully.

"All turrets reduce this intruder to ashes!" The other guard roared… "Turrets?"

"So sorry," The intruder laughed in a sing-song voice. "I'm afraid that your turrets won't listen to you."

"Who the hell are you?" The guards pointed their halberds at the intruder.

"I am mistress's faithful servant." The figure clicked his fingers and the turrets pointed at the guards. "Good night!"

In a violent crescendo of multi-coloured lasers reduced the two guards to the component atoms in a blink of an eye.

"What terrible guards…" The intruder laughed, "They fell to pieces in a crisis!" The intruder laughed at his own terrible joke. "Now…" He clicked his fingers and the anti-capital ship lasers started to cut through the heavy duty gateway. "To free the mistress!" The intruder cackled madly as the heavy duty door started to slowly melt away.

* * *

><p>"Nothing like a game of football to get the manly energies flowing!" Kenichi declared as Naruto, Rito and Kenichi headed back to their classroom.<p>

"Really? I didn't see you do anything but stare at the girl's track lesson," Naruto replied dryly.

"Precisely," Kenichi nodded seriously. "Seeing girl's in their springtime of their youth fills me with manly passion."

"For some reason I am filled with a strange sense of despair when you say that." Naruto mused.

"But didn't the girl's look good in their outfits?" Kenichi challenged.

"Well…" Rito rubbed the back of his head. "I can't say I noticed much."

"Well I…" Naruto scowled as his phone started to ring. "Who could be calling me at this time?" Glancing at his phone he saw it was from Haruna's phone. "Haruna is calling me… Hello?" He answered the phone.

"_Well hello there Uzumaki-kun," _An unfamiliar voice responded.

"Who are you and what are you doing with Sarenji's phone?" Naruto's eyes narrowed prompting a look of horror on Rito's face.

"_All your questions will be answered if you come to the PE storage room!" _The line went dead.

"Damn it," Naruto scowled, "You two head to class! I'll go deal with this."

"If Haruna-chan's in trouble I can't stand by and do nothing!" Rito challenged.

"Not to be cruel but what good would you be?" Naruto shook his head.

"Even if I am just a distraction I could still help," Rito's eyes were burning with determination.

"… Fine but you have to follow my orders to the letter," Naruto relented earning a nod from Rito.

"Rito…" Kenichi handed Rito a tape recorder. "Please record any words of wisdom the great Sage imparts onto us during combat!"

"Er… right," Rito and Naruto raced off, Naruto leading the way. When they arrived at the PE storage Naruto slowly opened up the door and walked in, closely followed by Rito. The first thing they saw was Haruna tied up.

"Sarenji!" Naruto called to her but she was out cold. "Damn it." He grabbed Rito who wanted to rush to free the girl. "It looks like a trap Rito."

"It appears you are not the mindless thug that your classmates seemed to believe." The voice from the phone sounded from behind Naruto, causing the two males to spin around.

"Sasuga!" Rito narrowed his eyes.

"Who?" Naruto scowled.

"He is a tennis ace." Rito warned.

"… Tennis ace? Well excuse me if I don't wet myself. At least a baseball ace would have a bat. What's he going to do? Smash his racket over my head? Throw a tennis ball at me?" Naruto cleared out one of his ears. "So why did you do this eh?"

"I was just thinking that Haruna-chan hear is almost as appealing as Lala-chan."

"Seriously?" Naruto muttered under his breath. "Then tell me why you called me here?"

"Why?" Sasuga smirked. "Because if you don't want any harm to befall Haruna then you'll do as I say!"

"Oh really?" Naruto narrowed his arms.

"Really," Sasuga pressed a button and the ropes that were binding Haruna started to move, ripping her clothing open and leaving her in a bra and panties. "Maybe I should just get her to bare it all!"

"Bastard," Naruto growled as Rito tried to cover his eyes. "Fine… what do you want me to do?"

"Give up your claim to Lala Deviluke!"

"This is all about you getting a chance to date Lala?!" Naruto grit his teeth.

"Lala is just a bonus to my main goal," Sasuga started to change shape until Naruto was stood staring at some sort of snake like humanoid. His head looked like a certain type of snake, possibly a cobra although Naruto wasn't very good with identifying the different types of snakes. "My main goal is to be the ruler of the entire galaxy!"

"An… an alien?!" Rito blinked stupidly.

"That's right," The alien laughed, "I am Ghi Bree and if you want this girl returned unharmed you will renounce your claim to the throne of the Devilukian Empire!"

"Even if I did do you really think that Lala would fall in love with you?" Naruto smirked at Ghi Bree.

"You are misunderstanding, Lala and I are getting married. I've already decided so!" Ghi Bree remarked. "She has a beautiful figure even if she does have a childish mind set. No matter. I can always train her into a more satisfying personality."

"… I don't like killing." Naruto replied in a cold voice, "Which is unfortunate for you." Naruto's eyes were burning with a quiet fury. "Because when I am finished with you, _you are going to begging for death!" _

"What…" Ghi Bree felt paralyzed from the sheer intensity of Naruto's glare before managing to regain control of his body. "Well… how do you feel now?!" Ghi Bree grew in size but it did nothing to stop Naruto slow walk towards him. "Fine I will use my full power!" Ghi Bree grew larger and more muscular but Naruto didn't even hesitate.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Naruto roared and punched Ghi Bree in the face, sending the alien hurtling across the storage room and knocking him out, after which he returned to his usual much smaller form. "Seriously? A one hit KO?! Gah this isn't satisfying at all." Naruto sighed.

"Naruto… what did he mean about becoming an emperor?" Rito asked.

"Don't you think we should check on Haruna-chan before you start asking questions?" Naruto remarked dryly.

"Right," Rito nodded before blushing as he saw Haruna almost naked again.

"Oh for crying out loud Rito!" Naruto groaned. "If you can't even look at her like this how are you ever going to have a physical relationship with the girl?"

"P…Physical relationship?!" Rito squeaked before passing out.

"Seriously?!" Naruto turned to the unconscious Haruna, "You chose this guy over me? God alone knows what you see in him." He took his School jacket on and draped it over Haruna's body before breaking the bindings on her and lowering her to the floor. "It's about this time Yui usually walks in on me." Naruto glanced at the doorway. "Huh… maybe my luck is changing." He walked over to Rito and slapped him awake.

"Huh… what?" Rito blinked.

"I've covered Sarenji-san up." Naruto sighed. "Take her back to the nurse's office and ask Nurse Mikado to check her over. I'll take that thing," Naruto nodded at the K.O.'Ed alien, "Maybe she knows what the hell he is."

"Er… right." Rito carried Haruna bridal style.

"Well isn't this suspicious," Mikado remarked as they entered her office. "Two young men and a young girl with her clothes torn. What has been going on?"

"Blame this thing," Naruto lifted Ghi Bee up by his leg.

"…A Balkean?" Mikado frowned as she took the alien from Naruto. "They are physically weak but try and compensate by using a perfect mimicry ability."

"He took Haruna hostage." Naruto explained. "To get to me. He also mimicked a school student Satsuma."

"Sasuga," Rito corrected.

"Whatever," Naruto shrugged.

"I see," Mikado nodded. "Well I'll give her a quick check up if you two want to wait outside."

Naruto and Rito simply nodded and stood out of the nurse's office.

"So about this whole alien thing," Rito looked at Naruto.

"Lala is an alien princess as heir to the most powerful empire in the galaxy." Naruto replied. "Her dad doesn't like the fact she has fallen in love with me and is apparently sending assassins to try and kill me with the reward being Lala's hand in marriage."

"I…see." Rito laughed weakly.

"What… you believe me?"

"I don't have any reason not to." Rito shrugged honestly, "Although even after seeing that thing it's hard to believe that aliens are real, never mind that I actually know one. Well I suppose if anyone can handle it, it's you." Rito smiled at him.

"You think so?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Rito nodded confidently. "You are strong spiritually and physically. And the look on your face when that Ghi Bree said his plans for Lala shows me you care for her a lot. If you have love everything else will work out."

"Heh," Naruto let out a pleasant laugh, "You know something Rito? You're a good person."

"Thanks," Rito laughed.

"Just kiss already!" Mio exclaimed.

"What?" Naruto blinked. "How long have you been there?"

"We are looking for Haruna-chan," Risa yanked Mio back. "Someone said they saw you two with her."

"She passed out due to anaemia," Naruto responded without missing a beat.

"I see," Risa smiled although Naruto sensed something off about the smile. "Well no point hanging around." She turned and quickly left.

"What… what was that about?" Naruto scowled. "Rito I'm sure you can look after Sarenji-san for me. I'll go check what's up with Risa."

"Alright," Rito nodded as Naruto ran off after Risa.

Risa headed up to the roof of the school and leaned on the railings looking out. _'I wonder if Naruto would stand like a guard dog if I were the one who was in the nurse's office. Probably not. That treatment is reserved for Haruna-chan and maybe Lala. I can't believe Lala took his first kiss. Why does her forward nature seem to work but Naruto doesn't seem affected by my own? I'm getting left behind in the race for his heart but I need an opportunity to gain his affection!' _

She was shook out of her thoughts by a can of grape juice being waved in front of her face.

"If I remember rightly, grape's your favourite." Naruto smiled as Risa took the can.

"I'm surprised you remembered." Risa smiled as she took a sip from the can.

"How could I forget?" Naruto smiled. "I remembered when you spilt some down your dress and declared that it was tentacle grape because it was touching you up." The two laughed at the childhood memory, "Something on your mind?" Naruto leaned on the railing next to her.

"Just… thinking," Risa stared at the sky. "You and Lala seem to be getting close."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled softly. "She is a genuinely nice girl and she is always so happy. I want her to keep smiling like that."

"That's just like you," Risa sighed softly. "You always try and keep everyone happy. Even now you are probably talking to me to cheer me up."

"Of course," Naruto nodded, "It's a friend's duty to help out their friends isn't it?"

"Yeah… friends." Risa watched people start to leave the school with a melancholy expression. "You… you still like Haruna don't you?"

"Where'd that come from?" Naruto asked.

"I… I know you confessed to her and she turned you down." Risa looked at Naruto.

"I probably always will." Naruto stared out at the people leaving school. "She was my first true friend. If not for her I wouldn't have made half the friends I have now. She was the first person to see past my hair and build to see me for me."

"I see… then what is happening with Lala?"

"In what way?"

"Do you love her?"

"… What I am about to say doesn't leave this roof," Naruto glanced at Risa who nodded. "I… I think I do. But I feel terrible about it. Every time I think of Haruna I feel like I'm betraying her!"

"I see." Risa sighed heavily. "Well don't you think you are overthinking it?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked.

"She turned you down, therefore you're not betraying her. It's that simple." Risa smiled. "And if she doesn't like it she shouldn't have turned you down right?"

"When you say it like that I feel kind of stupid," Naruto laughed. "Here I was supposed to be cheering you up and you helped me instead. Thanks."

"It was my pleasure," Risa smiled, "But if you must repay me how about you and me make sweet, sweet love on this roof."

"Maybe later." Naruto shook his head.

"Naruto…"

"Yeah?"

"Can I hug you?"

"Er… sure." Naruto didn't see the harm.

"Thanks," Risa snuggled into his chest making sure to feel up as much of Naruto as she felt she could get away with.

"Judging by your groping I'm guessing you feel better." Naruto chuckled

"By not stopping me you are giving me permission! It's been too long since we cuddled like this. It makes me feel great." She looked up at his lips and tried to gather the courage to kiss him.

"Erm… Your breasts are kind of rubbing against my chest," Naruto blushed and tried to control his body's natural response to having a young, sexy girl pressed against his chest while her hands roamed his body. It didn't help all that the school shirts were kind of thin and it was very cold up on the roof.

'_Oh here goes nothing!' _Risa closed her eyes and went to kiss him before chickening out and running away, face beet read.

"Risa?" Naruto blinked as she ran away. He swore. _'I was hoping she didn't realise my body was reacting to her presence. Curse you male libido, it's going to be so awkward tomorrow!' _

Risa left the roof then stopped against a wall with her heart thudding. _'I was so close! Damn it! And to think I judge Rito for failing to confess to Haruna. I'm no better.' _She punched the wall before heading back towards the nurse's office.

* * *

><p>Momo scowled slightly as she watched the interaction between Naruto and Risa on her phone via one of the many drones she had investigating the people Lala seemed concerned about. Lala said he had other people interested in him but she assumed it would be a one way crush. Naruto's interaction with Risa meant that Naruto cared for her. He wouldn't want to hurt any of their feelings so if one of them confessed it would cause him problems if he had to choose.<p>

Changing the camera feed she saw Yui pacing around outside the PE storage room, glancing at her watch and muttering about tardiness being the main reason for the decline in the social backbone of their nation. Another camera showed Haruna still unconscious in the hospital bed with Mikado running tests on her. She also had camera's tailing Lala (who was currently walking home with a group of girls and chatting about nothing of importance) and Nana (who was walking around the local neighbourhood and talking to the animals she encountered). The only woman who she hadn't got a drone following was Kushina, because she had some sort of instinctive ability to tell when someone was spying on her and she was able to find and destroy the drones with little to no effort.

Momo's eyes narrowed. If she was to help her Onee-sama marry Naruto she had to find a way to either get the other girls to lose interest in Naruto or to get them to come together as a harem. Twiddling her hair she tried to figure out a way to make it so.

"Maybe… if I awaken the lust I can practically smell on Naruto that he keeps restrained with his iron will he will either capture all of their hearts or repel them so that only Lala remains." Momo grinned as she pulled out her phone. "Let's see if Naruto can hold himself back after being exposed to the spores of the desire mushroom. Just being in the presence of it was said to make holy men who had sworn off of the pleasures of the flesh into sex addicts who spent the rest of their lives searching for the perfect orgasm! Naruto's will is strong but by the time I am finished he will be putty in Onee-sama's hands. And with so much pent up lust Lala would need some help in dealing with him… and I will be ready to help." Momo drooled as erotic images involving her Lala and Naruto started cropping up. "I can't wait!"

* * *

><p>"You're late Uzumaki-san," Yui crossed her arms as Naruto walked into the PE storage room.<p>

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto agreed distantly. "I was held up by Risa-chan."

"Momioka-san?" Yui expression darkened. "And what did she do to hold you up?"

"Nothing much, you know you shouldn't give her such a hard time. She's a good person if you get to know her."

"I see." Yui turned her back on Naruto and started sweeping. "I have been hearing interesting rumours around school."

"Is that so?" Naruto lifted some of the heavier equipment and started to put it back where it should be.

"It appears that Deviluke-san is saying you and her kissed."

"She kissed me," Naruto corrected.

"Without your consent?" Yui hoped she didn't sound too hopeful.

"While I didn't tell her she could I suppose I didn't really stop her from doing so." Naruto admitted.

"I see," Yui scowled. "So if she asked, you would have let her."

"I…" Naruto paused. "I don't know. I mean a kiss is supposed to be spontaneous right? It's an act of passion you don't just plan for it."

"That's true I suppose," Yui glanced at Naruto. _'I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. NO! Bad Yui focus on your school duties!' _

The two tidied up in an awkward silence before leaving and shutting the PE Storage.

"Strange," Naruto remarked. "I was half expecting us both to get locked in there."

"Why would you expect that?"

"Just being Genre-savvy." Naruto replied evasively. "I suppose I best head home."

"Yes…" Yui frowned. _'Come on Yui. Find a reason to spend more time with him.'_ "Er… would you like to go to the café just outside of school with me?"

"Pardon?" Naruto asked.

"Not as a date or anything!" Yui broke eye contact, "I just figured that you helped me out here and with my chores that time so maybe I could reward you. Just this once though!" Yui glanced at Naruto who was looking at her strangely.

"I already told you, you don't have to reward me for helping out a friend." Naruto shook his head.

"But I owe you for that so it is a moral obligation for me to repay that debt!" Yui responded.

"I… You're not going to let this drop are you?" Naruto laughed weakly, "Fine then, if it makes you happy I will go to a cafe with you."

"Great!" Yui beamed before catching herself. "Now I don't have to feel as if I owe you."

"… Is being in my debt really so bad?" Naruto asked.

"With your reputation who knows what depraved favour you would ask of me…." Yui blushed as her mind went places that were definitely not very moral or proper.

"Man you really have a low opinion of me huh?" Naruto sighed.

"Almost every time I see you, you are in some sort of trouble." Yui scowled as they made their way towards a small café. "Not to mention the number of times I've seen you naked." Yui suddenly blushed as she recalled Naruto's physique.

"Believe it or not those events weren't my fault." Naruto sighed knowing how unbelievable it sounded.

"Funnily enough, I believe you." Yui smiled at Naruto. "When we talk like this I feel that I am seeing the real you. You are kind and considerate and well… not at all like the rumours say."

"Thanks," Naruto laughed. "And you aren't as bad as the rumours say either."

"… What rumours?" Yui asked uncertainly.

"Oh you know," Naruto replied vaguely. "How you are a tyrant and a cold unfeeling disciplinarian."

"I see… if you don't see me as that, how do you see me?" Yui asked.

"Well that's simple." Naruto laughed. "I see you as you, Yui-chan."

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui looked away cheeks aflame. "And just who am I?"

"A kind hearted girl who wants to help everyone but doesn't know how to go about it." Naruto replied honestly.

"Do… do you like kind hearted girls?" Yui asked.

"No," Naruto said in a complete dead pan, "I only like girls who are evil and want to kill me."

"Idiot," Yui smiled as she hit Naruto lightly on the arm.

"Of course I like kind girls," Naruto put his hands in his pockets. "If I didn't like talking to you I wouldn't. Life's too short to have to deal with things you don't want to!"

"And yet you go to school every day," Yui replied.

"Well… you can't avoid_ everything _that you don't like. Besides I get to talk to my friends at school so it's not all bad."

"Am I… one of your friends?" Yui asked uncertainly.

"Yui-chan," Naruto shook his head. "I'm hurt you even had to ask."

"…Is that a yes?"

"Yes. It's a yes." Naruto chuckled.

"I see." Yui smiled to herself as the two entered the café and sat down at a table next to the window.

"Can I get drinks for the lovely couple?" A waiter asked them.

"We aren't a couple!" Yui blushed.

"That's a shame," The waiter smiled softly, "You two look good together. I apologise if I have caused any discomfort."

"No worries," Naruto smiled. "I can't take offence to people thinking Yui-chan's my girlfriend."

"Don't address me so familiarly." Yui chastised fully aware that Naruto would continue to call her Yui-chan but still she said it. It was like their thing. A little interaction that was hers and his alone. It made her feel warm inside when she thought of it like that.

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto laughed. "I'll just have a hot chocolate."

"Me too," Yui nodded as the waiter took their order then left. Looking around Yui froze. The café was full of couples. _'No wonder the waiter made that mistake! The whole café is full of young couples!' _

"Must be some sort of couples' event," Naruto remarked as he too noticed their fellow customers.

"Indeed it is sir," The waiter who took their order returned to their table. "Today our couple's love-love deserts are half price."

"Love-love deserts?" Naruto asked.

"Like our ice cream sundaes to share," The waiter presented a menu to Naruto who looked at it.

"Wow… there all sound delicious," He glanced at Yui. "Do you want to go halves on one of these deserts?"

"I already said I would pay. I am repaying my debt to you," Yui blushed.

"That wasn't a no." Naruto pointed out and handed the menu to Yui.

"What do you like?" Yui asked glancing at the options on the page.

"I'm fine with anything," Naruto grinned. "So long as it is sweet I'm fine. I have a bit of a sweet tooth."

"Really?" Yui smiled. "I would imagine you to eat a lot of meat."

"Well you don't get muscles like these on rice alone," Naruto posed with a cheesy grin earning a giggle from Yui. "I do eat a fair bit of meat but when it comes to treats it has to be something sweet."

"I see," Yui turned to the waiter. "Can I have this one?"

"Ah yes," The waiter jotted something down, "The Blissful confession."

"What's that?" Naruto asked.

"It's just the name of the desert that looked nice!" Yui blushed. "The name has nothing to do with anything!"

"It's an ice cream sundae for two with bits of strawberry shortcake in it," The waiter explained. "I will return with your drinks shortly."

"Thanks," Naruto focused on Yui. "So… Last time we spoke you asked me about my plan's for the future but I never got chance to ask you about yours so… what are your plans for the future?"

"I… I want to go to a good university and I want to be a police woman," Yui smiled. "To be able to protect people and lead by example."

"That's just like you," Naruto smiled softly. "Ah thanks," He nodded to the waiter as he brought them their drinks.

"Thank you," Yui nodded as the waiter walked off, "How about you?"

"Me?" Naruto looked embarrassed. "It's stupid."

"Go on, you didn't laugh at my goal."

"Well… I want to be an author. Back when I first moved here after my father passed away I had no friends and everyone was scared of me. I was alone and starting acting out to try and gain attention. It was around then I was given a manga by my grandfather on my father's side. It wasn't popular but I loved it. I saw myself in the hero, a young boy all alone who faced trials and tribulations but never once did he give up. He fought on and eventually he earned the respect of those around him. He made friends and even fell in love and got married." Naruto stared off into the distance. "It gave me the courage to follow my heart and to not let a temporary setback get me down. If I could help even just one person like the author of that manga helped me… I would consider myself a successful author, regardless of the sales of my book." Naruto smiled sadly. "Go on, feel free to laugh."

"I think it is a beautiful dream," Yui said softly. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"I don't know what it is about you but I always seem to spill my secrets around you." Naruto laughed as their sundae arrived.

The two ate in relative silence. Yui just enjoying the moment whereas Naruto was enjoying the sundae. They finished up and left the café and Naruto walked Yui home.

"Thanks," Yui paused and then looked embarrassed. "Is it… Is it okay if I call you Naruto-san?"

"Just call me Naruto," Naruto shook his head. "There's no need to use honorifics for me."

"Okay then," Yui gulped. "Thank you very much for walking me home Naruto… -san."

"Close enough," Naruto laughed and turned to leave. "I'll see you at school. Maybe we should do this again sometime."

"Yes…" Yui watched him go and shut the door.

"You look happy!" Yuu glanced at his little sister. "Have a good date?"

"It wasn't a date!" Yui argued.

"Is that so… Who was with you?"

"Well… just Naruto. I was repaying him for helping me with the chores that you left us with!"

"Yeah, yeah I've apologised for that already," Yuu shook his head. "And where did you go?"

"…To a café."

"So there was just the two of you, at a café." Yuu stated. "What did you do?"

"Talked about our plans for the future."

"Really? What did you eat?"

"We shared a sundae."

"Shared a sundae?" Yuu nodded sagely. "That was definitely a date."

"But…" Yui paused. "Are you sure?"

"Trust your big brother. Whether you see it as a date or not, I can guarantee your male friend did."

"Naruto doesn't see me like that," Yui shook her head.

"He told you to call you his name without honorifics. He calls you Yui-chan all the time. Face it, he likes you and you like him. What's the problem?"

A certain pink haired classmate crossed Yui's mind.

"Just tell him your feelings already," The phone suddenly rang and Yuu apparently teleported to it. "Ah! I've been waiting for your call!" He covered the mouth piece, "Could you go to your room. I want to talk to my girlfriend in private ok?"

Yui nodded deep in thought and walked to her room. _'Does Naruto see me like that? I mean he does tend to call me cute… Yet he is close to that Lala girl. What is their relationship?' _

* * *

><p>Haruna moaned as she slowly woke up.<p>

"Welcome back to the world of the living," Mikado joked.

"What… what happened?" Haruna looked around.

"You suffered from Anaemia and passed out." Mikado smiled.

"Oh… I see." Haruna looked around. "Where is Uzumaki-san?"

"He went home I think," Mikado shrugged. "Yuuki-kun is stood outside with Risa and Mio waiting for me to let them in."

"He… went home?" Haruna blinked.

"Well it is getting late," Mikado pointed out.

"I…" Haruna nodded. "Yes, you are right."

"Something on your mind?"

"It's just… Uzumaki-san used to stay by my side whenever I was ill. I guess we are growing apart now. After all he has Lala in his life." Haruna smiled softly. "I'm happy for him."

"People grow distant over time," Mikado smiled. "Besides Momioka-chan said he had to help Kotegawa-chan clean up the PE storage as punishment for something."

"Kotegawa-san is always blaming Uzumaki-san for things that aren't his fault," Haruna frowned slightly. "But Uzumaki-san just accepts it with a smile."

"He's used to being wrongfully accused for things," Mikado smiled. "His blonde hair and muscular build make him look like a delinquent. He's used to being wrongly accused and just takes it all in his stride now."

"But that's not fair for him," Haruna got out of the hospital bed she was laid in. "He is a nice person and deserves to be treated better."

"I get the feeling his life is starting to turn for the better," Mikado smiled. "After all he seems to have quite the following when it comes to you girls."

"What do you mean?" Haruna looked shocked.

"Well if the rumour mill is true then he has Lala as a girlfriend. Yui Kotegawa is also very eager to be in his presence it would seem. And you appear to be quite attached to him."

"It's not like that," Haruna shook her head. "We are close friends."

"Yet the fact he is happy without you seems to be upsetting you."

"It's not that!" Haruna frowned. "I just… miss when he'd always be there for me."

"Why don't you tell him that?" Mikado asked. "Make time in both your schedules to just hang out?"

"I… don't have the right to ask that of him." Haruna shook her head.

"Is that so?" Mikado checked Haruna's temperature by placing her palm on Haruna's head. "And why don't you have the right to ask your best friend to make time to catch up with you?"

"Because… I did something to him that I can never forgive myself for." Haruna bowed her head sadly. "I hurt his feelings."

"You don't seem the kind of person to do that," Mikado raised an eyebrow. "What did you do?"

"I rejected his confession." Haruna spoke softly. "I broke his heart. And do you know what the worst thing is…"

"What?"

"He doesn't hate me for it. He could never hate me for it." Haruna whispered. "If I told him to come he would come running without a moment's hesitation. Because that is the kind of person Naruto Uzumaki is. It would be better if he hated me. If he refused to talk to me yet he pretends he never confessed just because it makes things easier for me. For an entire year he pretended it never happened and carried on with his big smile and cheerful ways while inside I could tell he was hurting. But I didn't say anything because… because I am a selfish person. I didn't want to lose my best friend so I turned a blind eye to his pain and pretended everything was fine. But now it looks like I'm losing him anyway. I should be happy for him. I mean Lala is nice and she genuinely seems to love him but the closer she gets to him the further away I seem to get."

"Maybe you should find someone to fill the void?" Mikado requested. "If Naruto is in a relationship and happy don't you think you should give it a try? Isn't there someone you like?"

"Well… there is one person."

"Then tell him how you feel!"

"But what if he turns me down?"

"… Then you will understand how Naruto felt." Mikado replied honestly.

"I…" Haruna lowered her head.

"Would you listen to me, I'm just a school nurse yet here I am acting like some sort of agony aunt. You are a teenager. I'm sure everything seems so important right now but in a couple of years I'll bet you will look back and wonder what you were so worried about. If it's meant to be it will be," Mikado shooed Haruna away. "You are fine just be careful okay?"

"Okay," Haruna smiled, "And thank you Mikado-sensei."

"Just doing my job," Mikado smiled as the girl left.

* * *

><p>Naruto collapsed on his bed with a tired yawn. It looked like Momo and Nana had been busy fixing the house and had somehow bent reality to make the house much larger on the inside. Clearly the Devilukians were so powerful even the laws of physics just let them do as they pleased. Naruto had found out from Lala that this technology was still quite advanced by Devilukian standards. Lala had devised it one day and had explained it to Momo and Nana. While they didn't fully understand (they weren't geniuses of Lala's calibre) they knew enough to replicate the effect.<p>

"You look tired," Momo opened his door. She was wearing a fairly modest earth dress.

"I am exhausted," Naruto peered at Momo. "I had to deal with a weird alien called Ghi Bree and he attacked Haruna and… OH CRAP!" Naruto shot up. "I completely forgot about Haruna." He felt incredibly guilty about leaving his oldest friend in the nurse's office.

"I'm sure she is fine," Momo smiled, "After all you left her in capable hands right?"

"Yeah… you're right. Wait a second how do you know that?"

"Because that's the kind of person you are," Momo replied without missing a beat. "I know you wouldn't leave someone alone like that." _'I don't think you'd like to know about the cloaked drones I rented to spy on you and your friends' _

"I'm glad you think so highly of me," Naruto smiled. "Shame Nana seems to have such a low opinion of me."

"I'm sure she'll come around one day. You look like you need a long relaxing soak in a bath. Do you want me to wash your back?" Momo offered.

"Ah… no thanks." Naruto smiled weakly. "My mother would probably destroy this house if she found out that I let someone who wasn't her shower with me."

"I'm afraid we didn't build a shower," Momo led Naruto through the remodelled house and showed him to the bathing area. "However we did install several large baths." Momo stopped as they arrived in a corridor with several wooden doors, "Your mother is currently using bath 6 so please use bath nine. If you change your mind just give me a call and I'll be glad to wash your back."

"Thanks for the offer but I'll be fine." Naruto smiled. _'What a nice girl.' _

"Okay, enjoy your bath!" Momo smiled. _'A bath that's laced with spores of the aptly named Desire Mushrooms. A quick soak in that tub and your inner beast will awaken!' _Momo drooled slightly. _'Good job I am wearing this cheap dress. I have a feeling it won't survive Naruto's rampage.' _

Naruto smiled as he entered the bathing room but froze as he saw his mother's clothes in a basket. Leaving the room he checked the door and found that the number on the door had a screw missing and had fallen upside down making what should have been room nine, room six. "I'm sure me and my mother swapping baths won't be a problem," He muttered and entered bath six. Leaving his clothes in a basket before walking into what looked like an Olympic swimming pool. There was a thick steam in the air which filled Naruto with a strange sense of vitality as he dived into the large bath and swam around before leaning against the edge of the bath and relaxing. The hot water soothed his aching muscles and he let out a happy sigh as he floated on the surface.

Outside Momo was preparing herself for the fully awakened Naruto. She drooled slightly as she imagined the scenes of debauchery that would take place. She was so lost in her own imagination she didn't realise Lala was there until she called out.

"Momo!" Lala called as she headed towards the bath area. "Where's Naruto?"

"He's just gotten in the bath." Momo smiled. "Why don't you join him Onee-sama?" _'I don't care whether I'm first or thirty-first. So long as I get my fair share.' _

"I'm sure Naruto wouldn't want me to," Lala pouted. "He seems to prefer bathing by himself."

"I have a feeling he might change his mind." Momo smiled innocently. "After all you two kissed right? Doesn't that mean you are a couple? He is in bath nine."

"You're right!" Lala beamed. "Naruto, I'm coming to join you!" She tossed her clothes aside as she entered bath six, her Naruto homing senses allowing her to choose the right room straight away.

"Lala?!" Naruto quickly span around so he wasn't facing her. "What are you doing here?"

"Well obviously I'm joining you in the bath!" She laughed. "I mean you said that you were falling in love with me."

"I said that you were making progress in making me fall in love with you," Naruto sighed. "I don't really think we are at the naked bathing level of our relationship." He felt two soft mounds press into his back as Lala embraced him from behind. _'Think of something unsexy! The principal naked… oh god I think I just killed my libido permanently. _

"Oh come on," Lala whined. "I used to bathe with other people all the time! It's nothing special. It's more fun when you bathe with other people."

"Fine…" Naruto sighed. "So long as you cover yourself with a towel I guess I'll allow it."

"Yay!" Lala cheered before dashing out of the bath and returning moments later, a towel covering her chest and hips. She passed him a towel that he used to cover himself with. "Better?"

"Better," Naruto nodded and Lala started swimming in the tub. "You know Devilukian engineering never ceases to amaze me. This bathroom is probably bigger than the house."

"Once you know how to borrow space from other dimensions building things that are larger on the inside isn't too difficult. Of course there are dangers to randomly borrowing space out of other realms of existence but we only summoned Cthulhu by accident once."

"… Suddenly I feel a lot less safe." Naruto shivered.

"Don't worry!" Lala swam over to him with a smile. "If anything from another dimension attacks I'll protect you!"

"Lala your towel!" Naruto blushed and looked away as Lala reclaimed the towel that had dropped off of her chest.

"Sorry," Lala sat next to Naruto.

"It's okay," Naruto smiled at her, "No harm done. It's not that I don't want to see you naked it's just… I don't want to rush things you know? I want to fully fall in love with you before we go any further than kissing."

"So… you wouldn't mind kissing me now?" Lala asked hopefully. "You are fine with kissing? Just nothing more?"

"Well you have been good at school so I guess a quick kiss would be a good reward," Naruto reasoned.

"Really?!" Lala beamed.

"Really," Naruto put a hand on the side of Lala's face and slowly approached her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "Is that…" He was silenced by Lala wrapping her arms around his head and drawing him in for a deeper kiss. Her tongue probed his teeth as if asking for permission to enter and Naruto allowed it, their tongues duelling for a brief moment before Naruto broke this kiss, a thin trail of saliva joining the two. "That was… wow."

"Ehehe," Lala broke the trail with her hand. "Sorry I kind of got carried away."

"It's… wow." Naruto blinked. His mind was reeling from the kiss. He wanted another but managed to control himself although he was aware by a painful throbbing in his groin that he was probably going to end up with a severe case of blue balls but he refused to allow his libido to rule him.

Watching the scene via the cloaked drone following Naruto, Momo smiled. Her plan was coming together. But what was strange is how much resilience Naruto was showing to the desire fruit's spores. Devilukians were immune to it but Naruto should have Lala pinned against the wall and be ravaging her furiously. Lala's moans of pleasure should have been music to her ears.

"I don't understand," Momo muttered as Nana entered their room.

"Don't understand what?" Nana asked. "Oh before I forget, I kind of ran out of screws on the doors for the bathing rooms."

"…What?"

"Yeah I only had one left when I got to bath nine. Still not sure why you wanted me to use screws considering that they are a primitive earth technology. I'm assuming you were planning to make some of them spin around as an excuse to get people to join the perverted beast in the bath or have him walk in on someone."

"Is it possible that the nine could spin and be a six?"

"Yes but I'm sure that won't be a problem."

"…You may have just doomed us all."

"What do you…?" Nana was cut off by a demonic roar.

"**GAARGH! IN THE NAME OF SLANEESH I MUST HAVE SEX WITH MY NARU-CHAN!" **Kushina's roar of primal lust shook the entire house.

"This is not good," Momo twiddled her hair. "Kushina was already a bundle of lust tied together with a Naruto complex. With her lust heightened by the Desire spores she has become the legendary pervert only appears once every thousand years. She is… A Super Sex Fiend!"

"A super sex fiend?!" Nana blinked.

The walls to their room exploded and Kushina walked in, her hair pointing upwards in sharp spikes.

"Quick Nana! What do the Sex-energy counters saying about her lust level?"

"The S-counters?" Nana put some glasses on and looked at Kushina causing the glasses to explode. "It's over nine thousand!"

"Well now we have gotten that reference out of the way… what should we do?" Momo turned to Nana.

"Wait? Why do _I _have to fix your mess?"

"Weren't you saying earlier how you were the superior twin?" Momo called over her shoulder as she ran away.

"GET BACK HERE NEE-CHAN!" Nana yelled after her fleeing sister.

* * *

><p>The cloaked intruder scowled at the cards before him, before glancing around to make sure no one was watching and he swapped some cards around with a smug smile. So what if he was cheating? He wasn't going to lose a game of Solitaire so long as he could help it!<p>

Glancing back to the safe door he was distressed to see that despite a full four hours barrage the door was still standing and the capital ship lasers had burnt themselves out. Fortunately he had complete control of this areas security so until someone came to relieve the disintegrated guards he wouldn't have to worry about getting discovered. He had another six hours before the shift change.

Sighing theatrically, the intruder gestured with his hands and the smaller lasers began their barrage of brightly colour high energy death to try and melt down the door. Seriously if his mistress found out the degree of protection her cell had she would be insufferably smug about if for at least a year!

Flipping over one of the cards that was face down he found himself staring at a joker. A quick gesture of his hands and the playing cards were atomised and he sat watching the light show that was slowly but surely wearing away at the cell door. _'Game cancelled due to a freak laser shower. I didn't lose.' _The intruder thought childishly.

Maybe if he was lucky mistress would punish him for saving her.

He could but hope.

* * *

><p>Once again in control of his body, Naruto was washing Lala's back. He was in awe of how smooth and soft her skin was. She giggled occasionally as he scrubbed her back.<p>

"So you said that you used to bathe in groups all the time back on Deviluke?" Naruto asked.

"Hai!" Lala nodded. "I used to bathe with all my maids! I had around fifty at one point."

"I see." Naruto laughed. "I suppose that explains why you aren't shy of people seeing your body. What was life like on Deviluke?"

"For the most part it isn't that different from earth life. I had to visit an academy for princesses which was kind of like a school but they taught us things like how to dress and the correct way to address royalty. Of course I was royalty of the highest degree so those lesson were never really required. Oh and we weren't allowed to play sports which is why Earth schools are a hundred times better!" Lala smiled as she felt Naruto's hands was her lower back.

"I'm glad you are enjoying life here," Naruto remarked. "I ran into another assassin today… Ghi Bree I think his name was."

"Man I hated that guy." Lala pouted, "I doubt he proved much of a challenge for you," She started humming softly as Naruto rinsed her back with cold water.

"Not really although he did hold Haruna hostage."

"Is she okay?"

"I think so," Naruto lathered his hands and grabbed Lala's tail to wash it and was rewarded with an orgasmic moan which caused the majority of the blood to be diverted from his brain to Naruto junior and caused Naruto to freeze.

"Na…ru…to…" Lala panted. She sounded so damn erotic Naruto felt his libido rise again. She looked at his with a misty look in her eyes.

"What…" Naruto swallowed in a desperate attempt to get his body back under control, "Is it?"

"My tail…" Lala moaned as Naruto looked at the appendage. "Sensitive…"

"I see…" Naruto finally gathered enough brain power to let go of her tail.

"That felt good," Lala moaned. "Please… clean it more."

"Lala…" Naruto gulped as he stroked her tail earning another erotic moan. "Is your tail an erogenous area?"

Before Lala could answer the wall to the bathroom exploded and a glowing Kushina charged in. Nana and Momo were clinging on to her in a desperate attempt to stop her.

"Run Naruto! She is the legendary Sex fiend!" Momo warned.

"What?" Naruto stood up and turned to face them before freezing at the sight of his fully naked mother. The combined stimulation of Lala's moans and his mother's figure caused his mind to go into an emergency mode.

_Naruto's Mind_

The armies were gathered and preparing for combat. One group of Naruto's gathered underneath a banner with a picture of Lala on it in a love heart, all wearing pink basic armour. The leader Naruto wearing pink samurai armour. This was the Naruto's developing feelings for Lala and it hosted a formidable force.

Beside them stood an army wearing similar outfits only blue and their banner showed a picture of Haruna. What was once a grand army of unimaginable size had found itself dwindling of late, but it still had a formidable host.

Across the barren wasteland stood their opponents. An army wearing blood red armour and carrying a banner devoted to Kushina. While this was the smallest of the three armies it had reinforcements. An uncountable number of naked Naruto's all grinning lecherously. The manifestation of Naruto's sex drive.

"FOR LALA!" The pink army charged.

"FOR HARUNA!" The Blue army joined the fray.

"FOR WINCEST!" The Red army charged.

"DEATH TO THE CHERRY!" Their naked allies roared.

The fight was truly epic with people crashing into each other and the cries of the fallen mixed with the jeers of the victors when suddenly a new army appeared all wearing heavy armour. Naruto's self-control had arrived and without a word charged into the disorganised mass of combat.

_End Naruto's Mind_

While a battle of epic proportions raged inside Naruto's mind, the real Naruto was still frozen staring stupidly.

"No…" Lala moaned at the loss of pleasure and grabbed Naruto to pull him back to her. Unfortunately she only grabbed his towel and pulled it off revealing a fully risen Naruto junior to the three females. There was dead silence followed by Momo and Kushina hurtling backwards with a nose bleed that had the same force as a high pressure jet washer. Nana merely stood there pointing. Her mouth opening and closing without making a sound before she fell over backwards muttering nonsense.

"Amazing…" Momo managed to stagger to her feet, stemming her bleeding nose. "Excalibur… the only weakness of the Legendary Sex Fiend."

"… I call it Naruto Junior," Was Naruto's stunned response.


	8. Chapter 8: All your First

To Love 'Ruto

A/N: I suppose I should say now that most of the background and biology of the aliens in this I have made up. They may not be canon but in this story they are. Basically if you read something and think 'That's not Canon' it is in this story. That is the privileges of a fan fiction author after all. This is our telling of how we think the story could have gone. (Or in this case just mash together two different anime and sit back and watch as they either explode or produce something amazing. I'm hoping the latter in this case.)

Fun fact this chapter's storyline was supposed to be in the last double release. It got knocked back for various reasons.

Some more backstory and a few new characters in this chapter. Also the formation of the HLLL.

Disclaimer: #404 Disclaimer Not Found. Please view previous pages.

* * *

><p>Chapter 8: All your firsts are belong to us<p>

Lala woke with a cute yawn and rolled over, hoping to snuggle up to Naruto. When she didn't roll into anything she decided to roll again until she either fell off the bed or rolled into something.

"…Morning Lala," Kushina grumbled as the pink alien cuddled up to her.

"You're not Naruto," Lala pouted.

"You're not the only one disappointed." Kushina deadpanned. "For a second I dared to hope Naruto had rolled over in his sleep to hug me. Way to destroy my dreams."

"Where is he?" Lala asked.

"It's Naru-chan's birthday today." Kushina groggily got out of bed.

"Really?!" Lala beamed. "I never knew!"

"He doesn't really talk about it," Kushina frowned. "After all it was on his birthday when his father had his accident."

"What happened?" Lala asked.

"I…," Kushina scowled as her head began to ache. "It's not important," She quickly dropped the line of thought, "The fact is though that Naruto never really celebrates his birthday. He tends to spend the day in a sombre mood."

"That's not right," Lala looked on the verge of tears, "Your birthday should be a happy occasion! I'll have to do something to cheer him up!"

"I have some suggestions." Came a third voice.

"Momo?" Lala looked under the bed. "What are you doing there?"

"Well… last night I heard someone sneaking into the house," Momo crept out from under the bed. "I of course went to ask Naruto to investigate when I realised that the intruder was following me so I leapt under Naruto's bed in order to carry out a surprise attack. But Naruto woke up and saw the intruder and simply sighed saying "Not you again old man," to which the intruder laughed and dragged Naruto away who didn't seem to fight so I figured I wouldn't wake you two up." Momo replied, _'Actually I was planning on joining you in bed when someone opened the door and I instinctively dove under the bed to hide.' _

"Really?" Kushina narrowed her eyes before sighing. She didn't trust Momo but seeing as it was Naruto's birthday her story could have some truth to it. "That'll be his grandfather on his dad's side."

"I wish I could have introduced myself to him," Lala pouted.

"So would he if he knew what you looked like," Kushina got out of bed and yawned before brightening up. "I have my job interview today!"

"I was going to ask how you and Naruto were able to live in such a nice place when none of you worked," Momo admitted.

"Naruto's grandfather pays for it," Kushina replied as she started getting dressed before turning to the two aliens. "Do you mind? This isn't a free show for anyone but Naru-chan."

"Don't you find it odd Kushina has her clothes stored in her son's room?" Momo asked as the two aliens left, Peke quickly dressing the naked Lala.

"Not really," Lala smiled. After grabbing something to eat she left the house and cheerfully walked towards school. It felt strange without Naruto walking with her but if Kushina wasn't worried about Naruto's disappearance then why should she? Besides according to Momo, Naruto knew the man responsible and didn't put up a fight. She instantly brightened as she saw a familiar face on the street.

"Haruna-chan!" Lala ran towards her waving.

"Good morning!" Haruna waved as Lala walked up to her. "No Uzumaki-san with you this morning?"

"No," Lala looked upset. "I woke up this morning and he had vanished without a trace. Kushina-chan didn't seem too worried. All she said is that it was probably his grandfather"

"I see," Haruna sighed. "It is his birthday and his grandfather shows up randomly to 'kidnap' him." She shook her head with a slight smile.

"What?" Lala blinked.

"Uzumaki-san's grandfather has a tendency to kidnap him periodically to take him on 'training journeys'." Haruna smiled. "I remember last year. Naruto and I were walking to school when this jeep pulled up, his grandfather leapt out and knocked him unconscious before throwing him in the jeep and driving away. The year before that he rode in on a helicopter with a team of special forces agents who fired tranquiliser darts at Naruto before airlifting him away."

"Training journeys?" Lala repeated, her eye's beaming. "Does he learn super-secret special techniques?"

"No one knows," Haruna shook her head. "He will probably show up around dinner time looking extremely exhausted and dishevelled. He refuses to speak of whatever happens on his training journeys."

"I'll bet it is something exciting!" Lala declared. "But there's something I want to ask you!"

"Oh, what's that?"

"I was wondering if you could help me plan a party for Naruto!"

"A party?" Haruna shook her head, "Naruto doesn't celebrate his birthday."

"Muu…" Lala scowled childishly. "A birthday should be a happy occasion!"

"But for Naruto it is also the anniversary of his father's death." Haruna glanced at the pink haired alien, "Risa and I tried throwing him a party once."

"And?"

"He pretended to have fun for our sakes but I could tell his mind was elsewhere."

"There has to be something we could do!" Lala asked.

"Well it is approaching Halloween," Haruna looked thoughtful.

"A test of courage is required to show which of us is the manliest! And it is also somewhat topical being nearly Halloween." Ren declared.

"Oh! Its cry baby Ren!" Lala beamed. "How long have you been there?"

"I'm not a cry baby anymore!" Ren clenched a fist. "I have completed the first step in my quest to be the manliest man ever. I have completed all twelve volumes of 'Manly Action Sage's Manly Quotes!' and have been training my body as well as my mind." Ren paused, "And I've been here for a good few minutes but you didn't seem to notice me."

"Oh… sorry about that," Lala didn't sound sorry at all, "But what is a test of courage?"

"It is a manly endeavour where people face their fears and prove that they are manly!"

"That doesn't really answer my question," Lala tilted her head.

"Basically you walk in a dark area where people try and scare you using costumes." Ren simplified.

"Sounds fun!" Lala beamed

"Oh well… I guess if you like those sort of things," Haruna turned pale as she looked away.

"You draw lots to see who you go with and everyone goes in groups of two." Ren clenched his fists. "I hope I get to go with you in order to prove to you my manliness!"

"I wonder if Naruto would be interested in that sort of thing." Lala asked completely ignoring Ren.

"I don't think…" Haruna started before another loud voice interrupted.

"Of course the Action Sage would be up for the challenge!" Kenichi declared. "I couldn't help but overhear you and as his number one apprentice/fan I have no doubt the masterful hero of all men would love to prove his courage to you all!"

"I really don't think that's," Haruna tried before being cut off again.

"Great!" Lala clapped her hands. "We need to start planning now!"

"Agreed!" Ren and Kenichi nodded vigorously.

"But Uzumaki-san is almost as bad as I am when it comes to the supernatural," Haruna tried to warn Lala but she was so hyped about her plan that she didn't hear Haruna.

* * *

><p>"Done," Naruto sighed heavily and dropped the pen cradling his aching arm. He was sat at a desk surrounded by several manuscripts. "Though I don't know why you can't get anyone else to do this. You do know today is a school day right Jiraiya Ero-jij?"<p>

"I know… it pains me to have to take you away from that place… with its girls wearing those short skirts. It's practically entrapment I tell you!" Jiraiya proclaimed. Despite the fact he was nearing seventy, the old man was still full of energy and actually had quite a young face (for his age at least). Only his white hair showed his age. He was wearing a kabuki outfit (because why not) and even had his face painted for the part. Sometimes Naruto didn't ask questions for fear of the answers he would get. "But first things first, let me see my art!"

"Usually I would claim it was mine since I drew it but I have no desire to be linked to these… drawings." Naruto shivered. "Yui-chan would definitely kill me."

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya grinned widely. "So you've gotten yourself a girlfriend? I thought I saw someone else in your bed when I collected you!"

"That was Lala," Naruto shook his head.

"… You have two girlfriends? Do they know about each other?"

"They're not my girlfriends," Naruto claimed.

"Yet you are scared of what this Yui thinks and you share a bed with Lala yet you aren't seeing either of them?" Jiraiya replied bluntly. "Have you done anything with the one you sleep with?"

"I suppose we have kissed but…" Naruto stared.

"Meh," Jiraiya snorted, "As if kissing means anything nowadays. I meant did you do anything _erotic_?" Jiraiya asked wiggling his eyebrows obscenely.

"Well…" Naruto recalled how Lala had reacted when Naruto had touched her tail and blushed.

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya beamed. "My grandson has become a man! I thought your drawing of the naked women were looking more lifelike!"

"We haven't done anything like that!" Naruto defended himself. "She just likes to sleep in the nude."

"She…sleeps in the nude… in the same bed as you… and YOU HAVEN'T TAPPED THAT ASS? Do you have no interest in women?"

"Of course I do," Naruto replied, "It's just I don't want to just sleep with her if we aren't right for each other."

"Here's how you tell if she is right for you." Jiraiya stated. "Get naked and have sex. If she wants another go later on then you are all set!" He grinned lecherously and gave Naruto a thumbs up before collecting the rest of the manuscripts. "Still I can't complain you've done a good job here."

"You couldn't complain anyway," Naruto remarked. "I'm slave labour!"

"Details, details," Jiraiya waved him off. "So any birthday plans today?"

"Not really," Naruto shrugged. "I don't really feel right celebrating."

"You know your old man wouldn't want you to remember him like this," Jiraiya smiled softly. "He would want you to honour his memory by living life to the full. Meeting new and exotic women and maybe even getting lucky with them!"

"I don't have any desire to be a man whore." Naruto remarked. "Besides Lala-chan is exotic enough."

"In what way?" Jiraiya asked as he arranged the manuscripts.

"You wouldn't believe me," Naruto shook his head.

"That's the same thing your father said when he met his first love." Jiraiya smiled fondly. "Turns out he was right. I didn't believe him."

"What did he say?"

"He said she was an alien," Jiraiya chuckled.

"Oh really," Naruto sweat dropped, "That is really unbelievable."

"Funny thing is he wasn't lying."

"What?"

"Oh haven't I told you the story of your father and mother before?" Jiraiya blinked.

"My mother was an alien?!"

"… I'll take that as a no." Jiraiya laughed loudly. "Well… surprise! Your mother was an alien!"

"You don't just drop a bombshell like that and laugh it off!" Naruto blinked, "What race was my mother?"

"Can't seem to remember," Jiraiya smiled. "She was a pretty thing as well. Looked a little like Kushina-chan. Her space ship was shot down in orbit over Earth and she was badly injured. Your old man found her and hid her from the local authorities. They must have gotten pretty close because a year later you were born and then she vanished. Your dad missed her terribly but I can't say I did. Something about her was just off."

"He never said anything." Naruto muttered.

"Of course he didn't" Jiraiya laughed. "Who'd have believed him if he did? If I hadn't seen her return to space after fixing her ship I wouldn't have believed it either."

"… I'm half alien?" Naruto muttered.

"Nope," Jiraiya shook his head. "I don't fully understand if but ever since your seventh birthday you have been purely human. The doctor's exams before then all showed strange abnormalities that shouldn't have been present in a human but after the incident you had all the readings of a perfectly healthy human."

"My seventh birthday?" Naruto blinked.

"Yeah when your house had that gas explosion," Jiraiya prompted Naruto's memory. "You and Minato were playing in the field when the house exploded injuring you and Kushina-chan but killing Minato. That's what the police told me anyway."

"I… thought dad was dead before then…" His head started to throb. "Before we were robbed."

"No," Jiraiya frowned. "You old man died a year after those robbers broke into your house. It was you and your dad who managed to chase them away."

"Why…" Naruto groaned as he clutched his head. "Why can't I remember clearly what happened?"

"You were young and it was quite traumatic," Jiraiya smiled softly. "Don't read too much into it. Let's think about happier times eh? In fact I know what we should do!"

"Really?" Naruto dropped his line of thought and noted the headache fading. _'So that seal Mikado saw on my head only triggers when I try and remember my dad and the details of his death. If it really was just a gas explosion then why the need to place those seals on me?'_

"Yeah," Jiraiya grinned. "Let's visit the hot springs!"

* * *

><p>Devilukian security was not that impressive, the masked intruder thought as he watched the lasers slowly melt their way through the security door. He had been sat here for at least a week and no-one had come to investigate the fact most of the guards weren't reporting in. If he were Gid he'd be having some serious words with his officers about now.<p>

The intruder grinned behind his mask as at last the heavy steel door fell away… to reveal another impossibly large door.

"…Seriously?" The intruder sighed and gestured with his hands making the lasers start firing again. Mistress was going to unbearably smug when she found out.

* * *

><p>"Don't you love Hot springs?" Jiraiya sighed happily as he soaked in the hot spring.<p>

"I should have known," Naruto groaned as he tried to avoid staring at the other inhabitants of the spring.

"Mixed bathing is the best," Jiraiya gave a little giggle.

Naruto merely stared at the sky. The spring owner had told them that they had to wear swim trunks whilst in the hot spring as the women had to wear swimsuits although some of them were wearing outfits that were probably more erotic than if they had been completely naked.

"Ah… You realise you can look right?" Jiraiya offered. "Looking isn't cheating."

"Yeah, it's almost hurtful the way you won't look at me." A sultry voice whispered in his ear.

"Hello Mitarashi-san," Naruto sighed heavily. As one of Jiraiya's models Anko was no stranger to baring it all and in poses that were… indecent to say the least. She was quite a flirty person and was a female Jiraiya in her over the top admiration of the female form. She was a proud bisexual and was currently in a relationship but that wouldn't stop her messing with Naruto's mind although she respected her partner too much to actually cheat on her.

"Aww… so cold. But that just turns me on." Anko purred as she sat down next to Naruto wearing what could charitably be called a swim suit. Naruto personally thought to was just several strategically placed straps. "So did I hear correctly? You got yourself a girl?"

"He's got two at least!" Jiraiya proudly proclaimed.

"Do they know about each other?" Anko asked.

"They are not my girlfriends," Naruto shook his head. "Well… I guess one of them is… maybe."

"You don't know?" Anko asked. "That sounds like something you really should know."

"Well…" Naruto frowned. "I know she likes me like that and I guess I am starting to like her like that too but nothing has actually been said."

"Have you been on a date together?" Anko asked.

"Well I don't think so but we have kissed." Naruto shook his head.

"By kiss do you mean a quick peck on the lips or full on tongue duelling?" Anko asked.

"Both," Naruto admitted.

"That sounds like a relationship to me," Anko stated bluntly. "Do you like her?"

"…Yeah but I also like someone else."

"Ahh, this would be the second girl then?"

"Actually the second girl is just a friend."

"There's three girls?" Jiraiya cut in, "They're increasing!"

"You a regular playboy aren't you kiddo," Anko laughed as she slapped Naruto on his back.

"It's not like that," Naruto sighed heavily. "Lala likes me but Yui and Haruna only see me as a friend."

"And which is the one you like?" Anko asked.

"I confessed to Haruna just over a year ago." Naruto remarked.

"I'm guessing she turned you down," Anko crossed her arms. "Did you do anything to try and change her mind?"

"Well not really," Naruto shook his head. "I didn't want to risk pushing her away as she is my best friend."

"So… I don't get the issue," Anko remarked dryly. "If you haven't made any attempts to change your relationship then it seems to me that you don't actually want to change it."

"It's not that I don't want to it's just that…" Naruto sighed. "I know I can't change her mind because she loves someone else."

"Then why are you being such a little bitch?" Anko asked. "If she doesn't love you but there is another girl then why don't you go after the second girl?"

"It's…" Naruto sighed. "Lala deserves more than being my second choice."

"You said she loves you right?" Anko pointed out.

"Well… she certainly seems to." Naruto nodded.

"Then here's what you do," Anko stated. "You go up to her and tell her that you love her but you will always have feelings for Haruna. How she reacts determines where you relationship goes from there."

"I see," Naruto closed his eyes.

"Odds are if she really loves you she'll say something like 'I don't care so long as I am with you' so then you start dating and before you know it the thought of being with anyone else will seem strange and hey presto. Everyone's happy. Except maybe the first girl but let's be honest. Who gives a damn about her? She had her chance for happiness. And with all the freaky sex you'll be having she won't even cross your mind until you walk into her and then you'll be like 'What did I ever see in her?' and walk on with a smile."

"Speaking from experience there?" Jiraiya asked.

"Tch," Anko looked around embarrassed. "Maybe. Anyway it was nice catching up with you blondie. I'd best get home, Kure-chan is cooking tonight and she gets pissed if I'm late for dinner."

Jiraiya mimicked a whip crack at Anko who scowled at him.

"At least I'm getting some you old perv." Anko stuck her tongue out and sauntered away.

"Gargh," Jiraiya groaned as if he'd been shot. "That was a low blow."

"True though," Naruto pointed out.

"Alright, laugh at the old man," Jiraiya pouted. "We can't all have harems falling into our laps."

"I don't have a harem," Naruto remarked.

"Yeah, yeah," Jiraiya got out of the bath, closely followed by Naruto. "Still doesn't a hot spring just ease your spirit? Make most of your troubles just melt away."

"Yeah," Naruto smiled thinking on Anko's words. "I think I know what I have to do now."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the school, there were murmurs as the female PE class welcomed their new teacher.<p>

"Isn't that...?" Haruna started

"Hai!" Lala beamed.

"Alright then," Kushina Uzumaki observed her charges with an evil grin. It was surprisingly easy to get the perverted principal to hire her as a teacher. Unfortunately she couldn't teach a class on Naru-chan's daily routine and other various facts about his life so Kushina had to choose a subject that required less effort on the academic side of things. She decided to be a PE teacher (No offense intended to any PE teachers out there… Honest.) This way she would always be on hand should any assassins try and harm her beloved Naruto. Plus she could scope out the competition and… encourage them to change the target of their affections. She ordered the girls to stretch out and surveyed her potential threats.

First there was of course Lala. The girl was unnaturally flexible and those damn breasts were a threat to her own! Lala was younger and she had the whole innocent persona that seemed to be able to bypass Naruto's natural defences and she was making progress on stealing his heart. The shameless pink harpy even slept with her beloved Naruto in the nude! As much as it pained Kushina, she realised she was losing to the alien princess. She needed a plan and quick.

Second of the girls that she had heard Naruto mention was of course Haruna Sarenji. The girl that Kushina never really cared about. She was so… boring. Just an everyday school girl. She was polite and she owned a pet dog. Her figure was so-so, nothing Kushina had to worry about there. She was however Naruto's closest friend and she suspected that Naruto held a torch for the quiet girl. Still he didn't seem to want to act on those feelings so clearly there was some obstacle there and for that Kushina was grateful.

The third girl that Kushina noticed was Risa Momioka. The girl's first instinct on seeing her was to grope her breasts. Only Naruto got to do that! From there Kushina realised that was just how the girl behaved. She had overheard Risa complaining that she hadn't been able to grope Naruto at all today which got the red haired teacher seeing red. Risa was still unaware why she was being made to run laps.

"Kushina-chan!" Lala beamed after Kushina told them to pair up and carry on stretching.

"That's Uzumaki-sensei," Kushina sighed. "What is it Lala?"

"When did you become a teacher here?" Lala asked innocently.

"Let's see…" Kushina checked her watch. "An hour ago."

"I didn't know you were qualified to teach."

"Of course I'm qualified to teach!" Kushina laughed nervously. "Do you think the principal would let just anyone teach here?"

The girl's just have her a look.

"Tch," Kushina scowled. "Fine the principal said he would let me teach under one condition."

"And what was that?"

"That I made you all do stretched while he hid in the bushes and watched."

There was an eerie silence as the girls turned towards the bushes surrounding the track course. One bush got up and started to run away before the girls chased his down and began kicking the living day lights out of the poorly hidden principal.

"I regret nothing!" The principal declared.

* * *

><p>Naruto whistled a tune as he walked down the street. The bath had left him feeling energised and ready for anything. He would confess to Lala tonight and… well he would see what happened afterwards. Worst case scenario Lala rejects him. He'd survived that before he could survive it again. Though that was unlikely right? After all Lala did already confess to him so really all he was doing was returning her feelings! She had no reason to reject him! Right?<p>

Unfortunately Naruto was unable to convince himself and the more he thought about it the more he remembered the pain of his failed confession to Haruna. He wandered on auto pilot, finding himself at the fountain where he had first tapped into his aura. The fountain looked completely untouched, despite the fact he had been thrown at it with some force. It was as if his fight had never happened at all.

"So we meet again at last!"

Naruto turned to face a small group of thugs wearing tracksuits and bandanas. One carried a baseball bat and stood in front of the others and looked vaguely familiar to Naruto.

"I Soma of the Panthers shall deliver unto you my vengeance!"

"You look familiar… have we met before?" Naruto asked.

"Don't you know who I am?" Soma asked.

"Can't be someone important if I can't remember you." Naruto sighed. "Okay then, a bit of light exercise will do me the world of good." He activated his aura as the thugs charged all together. It was as if they were moving in slow motion in Naruto's eyes. He smirked as he easily evaded their attacks.

"Stand still damn it!" Soma roared and tried his special kicks, which Naruto caught without any pain and used him as a bat to defeat the other minions. "Damn it…" Soma groaned.

"So… are you going to stop attacking me now?" Naruto remarked, somewhat disappointed with the ease that he had defeated the panther hit squad.

"Never!" Soma declared before passing out.

"NARUTO UZUMAKI!"

"What now?" Naruto rested the unconscious Soma on his shoulder as if he was a baseball bat and watched as a robot landed in front of him. It stood a good ten feet tall and had six arms, each ending in a different weapon. Its robotic head looked like that of a Sunese, that is to say it had patches under its eyes and a sandpaper like skin. It wore what looked like a cat hood and brandished its weapons as it looked at Naruto.

"I AM KANKURO OF SUNA AND I… HANG ON A SECOND…"

Naruto blinked as the robot started making a funny noise.

"There, that's better." Kankuro's robotic voice sounded pleased. "Always did have a problem with the volume settings on this thing. Now where was I? Oh yes. I am here to take your life!"

"How about no?" Naruto offered feeling his aura surging around him.

"Allow me to make a counter offer!" Kankuro cackled as two Gatling guns sprung from the robots shoulders.

"Still a no!" Naruto tossed the unconscious Soma clear of the battle where he soared straight into a sauna and into the middle of the Anti-Perverts Mixed Martial Arts alliance.

"So you want another beating huh?" The girls rolled up their sleeves and began the brutal slaughter of Soma. Although as he was already unconscious he didn't feel the effects immediately. Back to our main character though…

"You have no say in the matter!" Kankuro declared. "My home planet depends on me winning this battle!"

"Can I doom another planet…?" Naruto felt his resolve slip.

"Naruto-dono!" Zastin walked up to him with a strange floating crystal. "Gid-sama wishes to speak to you."

"I'm in the middle of something Zastin," Naruto jerked his head at the giant robot.

"It's okay, I can wait for you to answer a phone call," Kankuro's robot crossed two of its arms.

"Er… thanks," Naruto turned to the crystal.

"I see you have met the first of your opponents!" Gid's voice came from the crystal.

"Second," Naruto interrupted. "I beat Ghi Bree."

"… And you seriously consider that an achievement?" Gid's voice asked.

"Not really," Naruto admitted.

"Besides I didn't send Ghi Bree." Gid remarked. "I happen to think you are unworthy of my daughter."

"And I happen to think you are an unworthy parent but I guess we're just going to have to learn to deal with each other." Naruto retorted.

"Indeed," Gid's voice never seemed to change from the deep booming voice it usually was. It made it hard to tell his emotions. "As such I have decided on a little… test shall we say?"

"These assassins are the tests I'm guessing."

"Indeed. In order to pass the tests, all you have to do is survive and not let anyone else marry Lala. Should you fail I will destroy your planet. Succeed and you will marry Lala and become my Heir."

"… So basically I have to win against everything you send at me or you'll destroy my entire planet and everyone on it?"

"So long as Lala doesn't marry anyone but you, your planet is safe."

"Can't I just marry Lala now?" Naruto asked.

"If you are trying to save your planet that won't work. I only count the official Devilukian imperial wedding ceremony, which is impossible to carry out without me. So if you wish to marry her on Earth feel free but it won't stop the assassins."

"Just when I think you couldn't be a bigger jack ass you go and one up yourself." Naruto growled.

"If that's the case why don't you come to my palace and fight me? If you are so sure of your strength." Gid challenged.

"As soon as I am strong enough I am going to hunt you down and give you the ass kicking you deserve!" Naruto growled at the comms device.

"Then you will have to deal with my assassins until then. Oh just a side note as I believe that my other daughters are with you. They too will have potential suitors coming for them. I doubt you have any interest in them as they are... flawed."

"You talk about your own daughters that way?" Naruto growled. "Your days are numbered. So long as I draw breath I don't care if you are their father. You don't talk about you own children like that!"

"Even if it's true?" Gid laughed. "Well no matter. I am sure you will notice their flaws soon enough and then you'll be glad when someone takes them away. They are not a part of this test although should one of their suitors defeat you then the Earth is forfeit."

"If they don't want to marry your so called suitors then they won't!" Naruto growled at the device.

"Being as flawed as they are it was hard to find them any suitors at all. Would you really have them life as old crones for the rest of their life."

"I will do everything in my power to defend them. Lala, Momo, Nana... as long as I stand I will protect them all!"

"Why?" Gid asked. "Why waste your energy on protecting Momo and Nana? Why risk your planets safety by fighting unnecessary battles?"

"I don't believe the end justifies the means," Naruto replied. "Maybe I could save the Earth if I abandoned them but in my heart I would know that I failed. So what if they have some sort of flaw? Momo and Nana are cute girls who should find love and have children and do whatever the hell it is they want! And if you think your threats will stop me from doing everything I can to protect them then… you are mistaken! So just shut the hell up and send your assassins! I'll kick all of their asses and then it's your turn you hear me?" Naruto crushed the comms device with his aura augmented strength. "… I really have got to stop letting my mouth run haven't I?" He muttered under his breath as his aura faded away.

"Naruto-dono," Zastin smiled. "It is your brave heart that makes me glad to know you."

"You really don't care?" Another voice sounded from behind him. Naruto turned to see a wide eyed Momo and Nana stood behind him. "You don't care that we are… flawed?" Momo asked.

"I didn't realise you were there," Naruto blinked before smiling. "I don't care what flaws you think you have. As far as I'm concerned you are perfect just the way you are." He grinned cheekily. "It's your dad who has the flaws."

"Naruto…" Momo blinked. She suddenly saw it. As Naruto stood there with that smile, telling her that everything would be alright… that he accepted her for her. She saw it. She saw why Lala wanted to marry Naruto, to spend every moment of her life with him. And Momo agreed. She stepped forward to run into his arms. Someone else bet her to it.

"Waah!" Nana sobbed into Naruto's chest as he rubbed her head with a soft smile.

"It's alright." Naruto glanced at Momo and held out his other arm who gratefully ran into his other side and joined her twin embracing Naruto.

"Naruto Uzumaki," Momo whispered as she fought the tears in her eyes. "I never thought I would ever say these words."

"Momo?"

She looked at Naruto with eyes that were eerily similar to the ones Lala looked at him with. Eyes full of nothing but love and admiration. Naruto felt guilty just being the target of that look. He felt as if he was betraying Lala just by being looked at like that by someone other than her.

"I love you." She smiled at him and kissed him. It was just a peck on the lips but Naruto felt incredibly guilty as Momo snuggled into him again.

"Perverted beast," Nana tugged at his shirt causing him to look down at her. "It's not like I like you or anything," She looked uneasy before glaring at Naruto. "But I love you okay?" She jumped up and kissed Naruto as well.

"Naruto-dono…" Zastin walked towards him.

"HELL NO!" He glared at the knight. "That's enough kissing for one day!"

"Er?" Zastin blinked stupidly. "I was just going to ask if you were going to fight Kankuro."

"Oh…" Naruto smiled. "I kind of forgot about him."

"You… you bastard!" Kankuro roared. "I can't get a single date and now you have three Devilukian princesses?! Damn you Harem Lord!"

"Harem Lord?" Naruto blinked stupidly.

"And I have to kill you after such a heart wrenching moment damn it!" Kankuro bemoaned.

"No you don't." Naruto whispered softly.

"I don't? But if you surrender then your planet gets destroyed."

"But if you surrender…"

"My planet dies because no one will solve its crisis," Kankuro responded.

"No it won't," Naruto grinned widely as he stepped away from the twins. "Because I am going to become the emperor of the galaxy.

"Naruto…" Momo smiled softly.

"It's the only way I can keep everyone happy." Naruto clenched his fists. "Otherwise Gid will just make his daughter's lives a misery! So I'll go and kick his ass then I'll make him save your planet."

"But… how can I trust you?" Kankuro asked.

"Because Naruto Uzumaki is a man of his word," Naruto responded.

"If you can't defeat me how will you ever defeat Gid?"

"So we fight either way then," Naruto sighed. "Oh well. Let's do this!" Naruto called upon his aura and blinked stupidly. He felt far stronger than usual when using his aura and two small blue orbs were orbiting him. "That's new." He flicked one of the orbs lazily and it screamed towards the robot and detonated destroying the arms on the left of the robot. "… Okay. I did that." He looked at the one remaining orb and grabbed it. The ball flickered before turning into a humming blade of energy. He swung it a few times before shaking his head.

"So this is the power of Naruto Uzumaki," Momo muttered to herself. "He… he can do it. He can become emperor!"

"What is it?" Nana asked.

"Kind of disappointed it doesn't make a vwoom noise like a lightsaber." Naruto remarked.

The one remaining Gatling gun started spinning up as Naruto charged the robot, glowing blade of energy in his hand. The bullets screamed by Naruto as he closed the gap and slashed at the arms before skidding to a halt behind the robot.

"You were already dead," Naruto stated as the robot behind him exploded. "I've always wanted to do that." He smirked as her approached the wreckage of the robot out of which a singed Kankuro clambered out. He was wearing a black hooded outfit and glanced at Naruto. He had the same black markings under his eyes that his people shared as well as what looked like an excessive amount of make up on.

"So…" Kankuro staggered out of the robot and fell to his knees before Naruto. "Are you going to kill me?"

"I already told you," Naruto sighed, "I am going to save your people."

"Really?" Kankuro blinked.

"Yeah," He handed Kankuro a tissue, "A piece of advice, I would hold back on the make-up if I was looking for a girlfriend.."

"IT'S WARPAINT DAMN IT!"

"Whatever." Naruto walked away closely followed by Nana and Momo.

"He is incredible isn't he?" Zastin offered a hand to Kankuro. "He will go far but one man can only do so much, even with three Devilukian princesses behind him. If Naruto-dono is to challenge Gid-sama he needs more that his own strength."

"Are you telling me to ask my sister to rebel against Gid?" Kankuro's eyes narrowed.

"Of course not," Zastin shook his head. "But if he is to be Galactic Empire he will need powerful allies."

"I'll pass on your message on." Kankuro stared at the leaving Naruto. "Do you think he can do it?"

"Gid-sama certainly thinks so." Were Zastin's final words before he too left the park strolling calmly… until he heard an excited bark and a small dog came out of nowhere and started chasing him. It kind of killed the bad ass look he was going for.

Fortunately Naruto and the twins were unaware of this as they walked home.

Naruto scowled as he activated and deactivated his aura.

"Is something wrong?" Momo asked.

"Yeah," Naruto scowled. "Those two orbs that appeared when I entered the aura mode aren't there anymore."

"Maybe there is some sort of charge time?" Momo suggested.

"Yeah I guess," Naruto dropped the aura before stopping and facing the two girls. "I just want to say… while I appreciate your feelings I doubt I'll be able to return them."

"How did you feel about Lala when you first met her?" Momo asked.

"Well I guess I thought she was cute but that's about it." Naruto admitted.

"And how do you feel about her now?" Momo tilted her head.

"I… I love her." Naruto admitted.

"You've already said you find us cute," Momo smiled. "So I'm not worried. I will win your heart just as Onee-sama has."

"I can't cheat on Lala," Naruto shook his head. "Not after all she has given me."

Nana and Momo looked at each other before giving Naruto a funny look. "What do you mean by cheating?"

"I mean seeing you behind Lala's back."

"Why would we have to?" Momo frowned.

"Eh?"

"You are going to be the emperor right?" Momo smiled seductively as she sauntered up to Naruto.

"Er… I kind of was just running my mouth but it would solve a lot of problems."

"Indeed," Momo nodded. "Including your love life."

"How do you mean?" Naruto blinked.

"Hasn't Lala told you?" Momo smirked. "As emperor you'd be expected to take multiple wives and concubines."

"I… didn't know that," Naruto admitted.

"So you see you wouldn't be cheating." Momo wrapped her arms around his neck. "If you become emperor…" she whispered into his ears. "We'd be all yours and it is completely legal and moral."

"But not all at the same time!" Nana's face was so red it looked likely to explode. "I know what you are thinking you perverted beast!"

"I…" Naruto blinked stupidly. "I mean Lala said she was willing to share me but I never actually…"

"Don't worry." Momo smiled. "I understand this will take some getting used to but I promise you when I win your heart… You won't regret it."

"What?" Naruto blinked stupidly as each of the twins took one of his arms and walked home holding it. "Don't I get a say in this?"

"In a manner of speaking," Momo smiled at Naruto. "But I will win your heart. Onee-sama may take your first but so long as I get my fair share of your love… I'm happy."

'_She shares her older sister's determination at least,' _Naruto thought.

"You can't say all those things and not take responsibility!" Nana declared. "Someone has to tame you, filthy beast."

"I would much rather uncage the lust within," Momo licked her lips.

"I… I think you two are going to be like the devils on my shoulders aren't you?" Naruto sighed before his phone vibrated. "Huh, Lala wants to meet me at the school," He glanced at the sky. "It's getting dark I wonder what she could want."

"Naruto," Momo asked. "Do you genuinely love Lala?"

"I… I really think I do." Naruto nodded.

"Then tell her," Momo smiled. '_The faster Lala and Naruto get intimate the faster I get to have a little bit of Naruto time.'_

"Ane-ue loves you. It would make her day to have you confess to her," Nana nodded.

"Thanks you two. I will." Naruto headed towards school.

The two watched him go before Nana sighed. "Stupid perverted beast."

"Yes… but he's _our _perverted beast." Momo smirked. "And we are going to…" Momo whispered something into his ears.

"B…But!" Nana went read again. "That's not until after marriage!"

"Fufufu…" Momo grinned evilly. "How cute you are. What with your childish figure…"

"Gargh," Nana scowled. "Naruto said he would accept my flaws. At least mine are visible."

"He… he will accept mine right?" Momo's hand rested on her stomach.

"Yeah," Nana nodded. "I know he will."

"…Thanks." Momo smiled as the twins went home.

* * *

><p>When Naruto arrived at the school he found Lala stood waiting for him.<p>

"What's happening?" Naruto asked as he approached.

"Naruto-kun! Happy birthday!" Lala ran up to him and froze. "Your t-shirt is damp!"

"Ah," Naruto smiled weakly, "I'll explain later. Actually I'm glad I ran into you alone. I've got something to tell you."

"Uzumaki!" A familiar voice yelled.

"God damn it," Naruto sighed as Ren ran up.

"What did you want to tell me?" Lala asked.

"I'll tell you later," Naruto smiled before turning towards Ren with a frown. "So how can I help you?"

"Today I shall prove once and for all I am the greater man!" Ren grinned maliciously. "Today we shall take a test of courage!"

"I see," Naruto scratched his head. "And what exactly does that entail?"

"We go into the school in pairs and each visit several 'horror spots' and whoever gets scared first is the loser!" Ren declared.

"Right," Naruto frowned. "How do we decide our pairings? I only see three people."

"Uzumaki-san!" Haruna smiled as she and Rito walked up to the group. "Happy birthday."

"Happy birthday," Rito smiled. "Mikan said she would make you a cake as a thank you for keeping me out of trouble."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled softly. "Tell her I am looking forward to tasting it."

"I will." Rito nodded.

"N… Naruto-san," Yui joined the group, struggling to call Naruto by his given name.

"Oh you're here too Yui-chan?" Naruto smiled.

"Don't address me so familiarly!" Yui blushed. "I have to make sure that nothing untoward happens on this excursion!" She paused. "And Happy Birthday N… Naruto-san."

"Thanks," Naruto smiled.

"So we are all gathered here then. Risa said she couldn't come but would have a present for you tomorrow and Mio… I kind of forgot to ask. Kenichi said he wasn't manly enough to take part in a challenge devised to prove the Manly Sage's manliness and everyone else had other plans. " Lala clapped her hands as she looked at the six gathered friends. Before pulling out a set of straws keeping the bottoms hidden in her palm. "Each straw has a coloured end! You join up with someone who has the same straw as you. Simple right?"

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "So is there any particular order to drawing?"

"Well as the birthday boy I think Naruto-san should go first." Yui offered.

"Well if no one has any objections," Naruto pulled out a straw with a yellow bottom. "Yellow."

"Okay!" Lala smiled. She had marked them with special Devilukian markers that glowed only to Devilukian eyes. However before she could draw her straw Ren jumped in and pulled out a straw.

"Yellow!" Ren declared before scowling at Naruto. "I would have preferred to be with Lala-chan but I guess this works to! I shall show you the face of manliness."

"Do you want to draw again?" Lala tried.

"The law of the straws is absolute," Naruto shook his head. "I don't like it any more than you do Lala."

"Scared I will show you up?" Ren challenged.

"I just know I'll have to carry you when you pass out from fear," Naruto retorted.

"Well… who's next?" Lala managed to stay cheerful. It wasn't as if leaving Ren alone with Naruto would cause her problems down the line. If only she knew.

"Red," Rito glanced at his straw.

"Blue," Yui held up hers.

"Red," Haruna pulled out a straw.

"Guess that leaves blue for me," Lala smiled as she pulled out the last straw. So the teams are Haruna-Rito, Naruto-Ren and me and Yui! Let's begin everyone!" Lala cheered as the groups split up and entered the abandoned school.

Hidden in the shadows, a heavily bandaged Soma growled. He had woken up outside a sauna feeling sore all over. Once again his direct attack on Naruto had failed. It was time for plan B… again. He would avoid going after Naruto's mother and house this time though. Of all the targets it looked like the two girls would be the easiest. Soma grinned. Revenge would be his and the panther's honour would be restored.

* * *

><p>Lala calmly walked through the dark hallways, followed by a slightly nervous Yui.<p>

"Hello!" Lala called out, "Any ghosts here?"

"Deviluke-san," Yui looked around. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course Yui-chan!" Lala beamed.

"Would it kill you to address me properly?" Yui frowned. "You should address me as Kotegawa-san."

"Muu but that sounds so unfriendly," Lala pouted.

"… Fine anyway I wish to ask you just what is your relationship with Naruto-san?"

"My relationship?" Lala blinked. "I love him."

"And does he love you?" Yui asked.

"He says he is growing fond of me." Lala smiled.

"But you are not in a relationship with him?" Yui asked.

"I… I guess not. I don't know." Lala frowned. "We never really talk about it."

"I see." Yui smiled.

"You look happy." Lala tilted her head.

"Just thinking about a date I went on." Yui replied. "At least I think it's a date…"

"What did you do?" Lala asked.

"We went to a café and talked about things," Yui was evasive. "We shared a desert."

"I wish Naruto would take me on a date," Lala pouted slightly missing Yui's flinch.

"So it definitely was a date," Yui smiled softly. "Then maybe he does feel the same way." She muttered under her breath and placed a hand on her heart.

"Ooh!" Lala clapped her hands. "Who did you go on the date with? Maybe you and your boyfriend can double date with Naruto and me."

"I don't think that would be possible," Yui stared off into the distance.

"Oh, did the date not go so well?" Lala asked.

"It went brilliant," Yui shook her head.

"He didn't enjoy it?"

"I… I think he did. He said we should do it more often." Yui shook her head. "But I don't know if he thought it was a date."

"How can you not know if something is a date?" Lala looked confused. "Are you related to the boy?"

"No!" Yui shook her head.

"Are you embarrassed of Naruto and me?" Lala looked like a kicked puppy. "Is that why you don't want to double date?"

"It's…" Yui glanced at Lala and sighed. "I can't lie to you. It was with Naruto."

"… What?" Lala blinked. "Naruto went on a date with you?"

"Yes." Yui nodded. "I didn't know what your relationship was so I didn't think…"

"Naruto had his first date with someone." Lala walked away as if in a trance. She felt strangely hollow. While she had said that she was willing to share Naruto the fact that someone else had beaten her to such a prolific landmark in a couple's love life hurt her. She felt an unfamiliar dark feeling in her stomach.

Suddenly a figure leapt out from the shadows.

"I am here to avenge the panth-argh!" Soma yelled out as Lala punched him through a wall and carried on walking.

"Er… Deviluke-san?" Yui followed the slowly walking Lala who continued walking as if under a spell.

* * *

><p>'What good luck!' Rito thought to himself as he and Haruna patrolled the school's halls. A chance to be alone with Haruna-chan under such circumstances was a god given gift. At least it would be if either of the two could find any words.<p>

"So..." Both of them tried speaking at the same time and quickly blushed.

"You wanted to say something?" Rito asked.

"What is it you wanted to say?" Haruna asked at the same time.

"Oh nothing," They both said together.

'_Damn it!' _Rito mentally cried. _'I am so close to Haruna-chan! If only I could think of something to talk about.' _

'_Yuuki-kun,' _Haruna glanced at the orange haired boy, _'Why is it so hard to talk to you? I wish Uzumaki-san were here he could start a conversation for us. Ah but then it would just be awkward when he became like a third wheel. Besides Uzumaki-san probably wishes he was with Lala and not me.' _Haruna frowned a little.

"Are you alright?" Rito asked.

"Huh?" Haruna was snapped out of her thoughts.

"It's just, you didn't look very happy." Rito smiled, "Did you want to be paired up with someone else?"

"Oh no! That's not it!" Haruna shook her head. "I'm just thinking about Uzumaki-san and Lala-chan. They probably wanted to go together."

"Ah yes," Rito smiled at the thought of his friend. "He definitely seems to be getting along well with her."

"They live together you know," Haruna smiled softly. "It must be nice spending so much time with someone you love."

"I wish I could spend most of my time with y… with the girl I like," Rito mentally cursed his cowardice.

"Oh!" Haruna looked interested. "Is there someone that you like?"

"Well…" Rito started going red and taking deep breaths. "Sarenji-chan I… I like you!" He closed his eyes and waited for the response. When there wasn't one he saw Haruna staring behind him frozen in fear, he turned around to see a bloody body slowly walking towards him.

"Revenge…" The semi-conscious Soma moaned.

"Aaah!" Haruna screamed and swung at the beaten panther using the first thing to hand, Rito. After pummelling Soma into a crumbled heap she dropped Rito and ran down the corridor in hysterics.

"Was that a no?" A dazed Rito asked as he staggered to his feet with a sad expression before sighing and following her with a heavy heart.

Soma let out a pitiful moan. Why was everyone who Naruto knew so freakishly strong?

* * *

><p>Naruto looked around the dark school corridors trying not to show his unease. He had <em>always <em>hated the supernatural. He hated the idea of a foe he couldn't fight back against. Add to that he had assassins after him and this school was full of potential ambush sites and he was understandably a little stressed. Oh and he was still trying to figure out what he would say to Lala. 'I love you but I also still have feelings for Haruna. Oh and your sisters are also trying to make me fall in love with them and one has decided that I should become emperor so we can all get married and live happily ever after.' Yeah… that would be a fun conversation to have.

Ren looked around cautiously. He had been hoping that Naruto had refused to take part so he would win by default. Truth of the matter is he was not a big fan of the supernatural. Ever since Lala had locked him in her closet once after she had been playing dress up he had developed a fear of dark places. Her closet was so large it had its own ecosystem. Let's just say that the creatures in there were very interested in seeing what Ren tasted like.

"This is stupid," Naruto looked around the darkened hallways. "There is no such thing as ghosts." He repeated under his breath like a mantra.

"You sound scared!" Ren tried to hope he didn't sound frightened. He failed.

"Not as much as you though," Naruto countered.

"Revenge…" A groaning voice sounded down the corridor.

"I'm sure that's just the wind," Naruto laughed weakly.

"Revenge… Uzumaki…"

"Or maybe some of the others are just playing a practical joke." Naruto tried.

"Revenge…for… the.. Panthers…"

"… Hang on a second I'm pretty sure that I haven't killed any of them." Naruto remarked his fear abating somewhat.

Soma dragged his badly beaten form down the hallway. He was a mass of bruises and bleeding injuries. He was pretty sure he had broken his left leg and was dragging it along the floor groaning in pain. He looked from his one good eye and saw Naruto and some strange boy stood next to him.

"Z…Zombie?!" Ren stammered.

"Calm yourself down," Naruto sighed. "Zombie's aren't real. Although this guy does look kind of familiar. Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"…Revenge…" Soma tried to speak but his voice hurt.

"It wants revenge for the fact I crashed landed on its grave when I arrived on Earth!" Ren bemoaned.

"Listen Ren," Naruto grabbed Ren by the shoulders. "It isn't real! Well at least zombies aren't. I'll deal with this okay?"

"You can't deal with a zombie!" Ren was beside himself with fear.

"Fine I'll show you otherwise alright?" Naruto cracked his knuckles and walked up to Soma. "So… are you really going to try and fight in that shape or are you going to leave quietly."

Soma weighed up his options. If at full strength he was barely a nuisance to Naruto there was no way he could do anything in this state.

"…Retreat…" He groaned and lurched down the hallway.

"I… I don't believe it," Ren fell to his knees. "You are truly the manliest man." Ren conceded. Inside of him a female voice squealed _'My brave, blonde hero!' _

"See nothing to worry about," Naruto smiled.

"Excuse me," A girl cleared her throat.

"Oh I wasn't aware that Lala invited anyone else to join in." Naruto glanced at the girl.

"Could you please make less noise?" She tried.

"N…Naruto… legs!" Ren squeaked.

"Ren!" Naruto scowled at the shivering boy. "Sorry about him. I guess he isn't used to seeing such fine… non-existent legs…" Naruto followed Ren's gaze then looked at the girl realising he could see through her. "Ah… You wouldn't happen to be a ghost would you?"

"Hai," The ghost girl bowed formally. "My name is Shizu Murasame. You may call me Oshizu."

"Excuse me a second," Naruto spoke in a robotic tone. He waved his hand through Oshizu then looked around. "So you are not a hologram?"

"No," Oshizu smiled.

"You are actually an honest to goodness ghost?"

"Hai," Oshizu bowed her head.

"I see…" Naruto smiled weakly._ 'Well she doesn't seem hostile… maybe she is an alien species.' _Naruto tried to think rashly. "And what are you doing here?"

Before Oshizu could answer there was a strange barking noise.

"A dog?" Naruto turned to see a small stray puppy, the one that usually harassed Zastin trotting up to him. "Oh hi there little guy." He fussed the dog who barked happily.

"D…D…DOG!" Oshizu shrieked unleashing a blast of psychic energy.

"AAAH!" Naruto's frail grasp on his emotions snapped as he and Ren ran away, Naruto carrying the small dog under his arm. "There's no such things as ghosts!" He repeated to himself as the confused dog enjoyed the ride.

Oshizu watched as they ran away. _'He is protecting me from that dog! Truly he is a gentle soul to fight of such a fearsome foe… I hope he comes back so we can talk a bit more.' _

_With Soma_

Soma groaned as he staggered down the hallway. He was giving up, at least for today. Clearly his crew needing better equipment to take on the likes of Naruto and his friends. Apparently the Big Boss was looking for volunteers for a special soldier project. Maybe he would volunteer for it and then use his new found strength to crush Uzumaki! Although they said the chances of surviving the procedure weren't a hundred percent…

"GHOST!" Ren and Naruto ran straight over Soma, leaving him a twitching pile of pain on the floor.

Then again could he continue to live life like this?

"ZOMBIE!" Haruna raced over his twitching body closely followed by Rito.

Living life as a comic relief character?

"Lala-san please wait up!" Yui called out as Lala stomped over Soma on her way out of the school.

He was starting to think there was more chance of him surviving the procedure that this night. He heard two more pairs of footsteps heading towards him.

Momo and Nana crept through the hallways of the school.

"I don't like this nee-chan," Nana muttered as they looked around.

"When it comes to Onee-sama's happiness I am leaving nothing to chance!" Momo twirled her hair. "We have to make sure that Naruto confesses to her! Can't you summon one of your animals to find her?"

"Gi-chan I chose you!" Nana summoned the giant boar.

"Can that track people?" Momo asked.

"Of course," Nana declared proudly. "So long as Gi-chan has smelt something before he never forgets the scent!"

"GIIII!" The boar stared straight at Soma.

"Oh gods no!" He cried out as the giant boar charged him.

* * *

><p>The groups all gathered. Lala was deliberately not looking at Naruto. She felt mad at him, not for the fact that she wasn't his first date but more for the fact he was hiding that fact from her. Yui kept glancing between Naruto and Lala, worried that she might have done something that would upset Naruto. Haruna was looking incredibly embarrassed and Rito was sighing a lot about how Haruna reacted to his confession. Naruto was glancing at Lala and wondering why she wouldn't look at him. Ren had simply left the grounds crying about ghosts.<p>

"Well… that went well." Naruto sighed. "Hey Lala…"

"Humph!" Lala turned her back to him.

"Is something wrong?" Naruto asked.

"You tell me." Lala pouted and walked away.

"What… what just happened?" Naruto recalled the ghost he had seen before, "Was she cursed by a ghost or something?!"

"Er…" Yui opened her mouth to tell Naruto what happened then froze. _'What if I say that I told her about our date and he tells me it wasn't a date! He doesn't like me that way?' _

On Yui's shoulders two chibi Yui figures stood. One had a halo and was wearing a police officer's outfit. The other had horns and wings and looked oddly like Yui dressed up as Risa.

"Tell him the truth," Police Yui sternly told her. "It is better to tell the truth rather than live a lie. It is your duty to the moral backbone of the school. A relationship built on lies will never work."

"Yeah because telling him that you are the reason Lala hates him is really going to improve your relationship. Think about it! If Lala and Naruto stop getting so close that means he is all yours!" Risa Yui winked cheekily.

"But that would be immoral!"

"Better immoral than unhappy!"

"You harlot!"

"Stuck up bitch!"

The two Chibi Yui started a cat fight. Yui shook her head and they disappeared.

"Did something happen with her?" Naruto asked.

"I… don't know." Yui looked away.

"I guess I'll find out back home." Naruto sighed heavily, "Thanks anyway Yui-chan."

"Don't address me so familiarly," Yui said without any passion as she stared intently at the floor. '_I don't deserve it.' _

If Naruto noted Yui's odd behaviour he didn't comment, glancing at the blushing Haruna who seemed to be struggling to look at Rito and a somewhat depressed Rito he shook his head. "Well whatever happened in there seems to have affected us all. I'd recommend we go home and recover."

"Yeah," Rito nodded as the group headed home.

"Tell Lala… thank you for inviting me." Yui bowed her head as they reached her home. "I hope you enjoyed your birthday."

"It was an experience," Naruto smiled at her causing her to flinch and turn away before closing the door.

"You don't look happy," her brother noted. "Judging by the time you are back it looks like you spent a fair bit of time with your boyfriend." Yuu growled. "Did he make you do something you didn't want to do?"

"No…" Yui shook her head. "I just… it's complicated." Yui walked up to her room without another word. When she entered her room she dived on her bed and cuddled up to her pillow. _'Why didn't I tell Naruto the truth?' _

Outside the group had reached Rito's house.

"Welcome back," Mikan answered the door and noted Rito's look.

"Hey Mikan," Rito smiled weakly as he walked past her.

"Rito," Mikan looked at her brother worried then glanced at Naruto. "Do you two want to come in? I've almost finished your birthday cake."

"That's okay…" Naruto started until a sharp look from Mikan made him change his mind, "But if you insist…"

Haruna and Naruto sat in the living room while Mikan worked in the kitchen.

"Naruto-san, could you come in here for a second." Mikan called.

Naruto walked into the kitchen. "You look cute in an apron."

"Thanks," Mikan looked away with a tint of red on her cheeks before getting to the point. "Rito looks really down."

"Yeah," Naruto glanced into the living room where Haruna was still sparing into space. "I don't know what happened in there but Rito and Sarenji-san are acting weird."

"Do you think he confessed and was rejected?" Mikan looked worried. "I know I also pressed him into confessing but I didn't think…"

"Nah," Naruto ruffled Mikan's hair earning a half-hearted glare. "We both know Rito could never confess as he is now."

"True," Mikan cheered slightly. "Could you ask him what is wrong… You are his best male friend. He might tell you."

"He might," Naruto agreed and went to Rito's room and knocked.

"Come in," Rito sighed.

"So… what's up with you?" Naruto asked as he entered.

"I… I actually did it." Rito looked up at Naruto.

"You did what?" Naruto asked.

"I confessed…" Rito smiled sadly.

"I see," Naruto sat down beside Rito, "And what did Sarenji say?"

"She screamed and used me as a baseball bat to beat up a zombie." Rito sunk into a depression.

"… When she turned me down, she just said no," Naruto chuckled. "Are you sure she heard you? When Haruna seems something supernatural she tends to completely zone out and go into a berserker rage."

"So you mean…" Rito cheered up.

"Yeah," Naruto grinned at Rito, "She probably didn't even hear your confession."

"You think so!" Rito grabbed Naruto's arm.

"Yeah," Naruto laughed. "The same thing happened to me the first time I confessed to Sarenji."

"Wait you confessed more than once?"

"Yeah the first time was in a haunted house. I thought it would be the ideal time. She'd be scared and holding on to me and it would work. Of course I didn't know that I wasn't that fond of ghosts and just as scared as Haruna was of the supernatural. I confessed but she was freaking out because of the ghosts. Then I started freaking out when I saw them." He laughed. "We were in there for about two hours until Risa came in to find us. We were huddled up in a corner too scared to move."

Rito joined laughing. "I can't imagine you being scared of anything. I mean you seem largely unaffected by the fact you have alien assassins after you."

"I can fight assassins. How do you fight a ghost?" Naruto shivered. "Well I'd best be going. If it makes you feel better I'll check with Sarenji to see if she has any recollection of being confessed to. I'll see you around."

"Yeah," Naruto and Rito left the room, Mikan giving Naruto an appreciative nod seeing her brother's improved mood.

"Here's your cake," Mikan handed a small box to Naruto. "I hope you enjoy it."

"I'm sure I will," Naruto ruffled Mikan's hair. "Anything made by you is delicious. I envy the man who marries you."

"You really think so?" Mikan suddenly found the floor very interesting.

"Wait! Mikan's too young to be thinking about that!" Rito started flailing his arms in panic.

"Unlike some people I am mature enough to address my feelings." Mikan remarked dryly.

"I won't allow it!" Rito declared. "I will protect Mikan-chan from those vultures!"

"How could you protect me?" Mikan smiled darkly, "If anything I have to protect you."

"Mikan's pretty kick ass," Naruto agreed, once again ruffling her hair. "You on the other hand…"

"I'm not that hopeless am I?"

"Nice weather we are having?" Mikan changed the topic.

"It's not too bad, a little cold." Naruto agreed.

"I hate you two sometimes."

"We know," Mikan and Naruto laughed as Rito shook his head. The brother and sister waved Naruto and Haruna off before closing the door.

The trip to Haruna's house was a silent one until Haruna finally broke the silence.

"You get along well with Yuuki-chan."

"Hm?" Naruto turned to Haruna. "She's a good kid."

"You always did want a younger sister," Haruna smiled.

"Yeah," There was a twitch of pain in Naruto's head but he dismissed it. "So what happened with you and Rito?" Unaware to Haruna he had opened his phone and dialled Rito.

"Oh," Haruna went bright red, "It was so embarrassing!"

"Embarrassing?"

"I was talking to Yuuki-kun when I… I think I kind of freaked out. The next thing I knew I was running down the hallway. I think I used him as a weapon…" She looked at her feet. "He probably thinks I hate him or something."

"I'm sure he doesn't mind," Naruto laughed. "So you don't remember anything else?"

"No… why did something else happen?" Haruna looked at Naruto.

"No," Naruto laughed. "Just checking that Rito didn't try anything while you were alone."

"Yuuki-kun isn't like that," Haruna protested. "He's kind and brave…" They stopped outside Haruna's house. "Thank you for walking me home Uzumaki-san."

"No worries," Naruto smiled softly as she entered the building. Walking away he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "You hear all that?"

"Yeah," Rito sounded happy. "So she doesn't hate me!"

"Now all you have to do is confess again." Naruto reminded him.

"It took so much effort for that one confession… I don't know if I could do it again." Rito admitted.

"Trust me, even if Mikan and myself have to frog march you to her house and use a Taser every time you fail to confess we will get you to confess."

"I don't know what's more worrying. That threat or the fact that Mikan just used the exact same threat before you rang me. She even has a Taser and is pointing it at me now."

"Ahahaha!" Naruto laughed. "Seriously, Mikan is awesome. You're lucky to have a little sister like that."

"Yeah, I know." Rito admitted.

"Well talk to you later."

"Yeah. Oh and Naruto… Thanks." Rito hung up.

"The things I do." Naruto smiled as he entered his house. The twins were sat waiting for him looking angry. "Can I help you?"

"**What did you do to upset Onee-sama**_**," **_Momo growled as she walked up to him. While the pressure of her dark side was powerful, Naruto could withstand Gid's.

"She's still in a bad mood?" Naruto frowned. "She was fine until she went into the school with Yui-chan. Yui seemed a little distant but I never would have thought there was someone Lala couldn't get along with."

"**Then why did she say 'Stupid Naruto' when she came home and went straight to her room?" **

"I don't know," Naruto ran a hand through his hair. "If I knew why she was upset I would do anything to cheer her up. I… I love her. I really do. Even though I still have feelings for Haruna I can't deny my feelings for Lala. I fell like scum. Seeing her upset hurts me especially if I am the cause of the pain. I just wish I could do something. I hate feeling so helpless."

Momo and Nana were looking at something behind Naruto.

"Say it again," Momo whispered.

"I hate feeling helpless?"

"No… how you feel about Ane-ue," Nana clarified.

"I love her?" Naruto clarified.

"You love who?" Momo pushed. "Put it in terms that cannot be mistaken!"

"I'll put this in the clearest terms I can think of. I, Naruto Uzumaki love your older sister, Lala Satalin Deviluke. I can't put it any clearer."

"You… you love me?"

Naruto span around to see a wide eyed Lala. "…Yes, I…"

"YOU LOVE ME!" Lala exploded with happiness and dived at Naruto knocking him to the floor and cuddling him.

"Yes," Naruto smiled. "I love…" He was silenced by Lala kissing him passionately. When they broke the kiss a thin trail of saliva still joined them. The kiss was so passionately that Nana had to look away, her face on fire with a blush the likes this world had never seen.

"You love me." Lala repeated.

"Yes I…" Once again a passionate kiss interrupted him.

"You really, really love me!"

"Yes," Another kiss.

"And you proposed to me!" Lala beamed.

"I… wait what?"

"Yeah Devilukian proposals don't require rings." Momo grinned as she crouched down beside Naruto and Lala. "All you have to say is your full name and that you love the other person saying their full name."

"… Oh," Naruto gave Momo and look as Lala snuggled into his chest. "Why do I have the feeling I've been played here?"

"I don't know what you mean?" Momo looked innocent. "After all did I get you to say something that wasn't true? Besides be glad Papa isn't here. The marriage ceremony is exactly the same except he has to witness it and declare that we are husband and wife. The marriage is then sealed with a kiss."

"When it comes to love you Devilukians really don't waste time… You win," Naruto kissed Lala on the forehead. "I give up. As much as I hate losing I'll accept it this once. I have lost to the Devilukian princesses."

"Get used to that," Momo smiled. "Now we have our hooks in you we aren't giving you up!"

"We?" Lala beamed at her sisters. "You love Naruto too?"

"Well," Nana pouted cutely, "He kind of has some good points you know? For a perverted beast."

"How can I not love a man who declared war on Papa to protect me from getting married?" Momo smiled.

"I did what now?" Naruto blinked.

"Well you did threaten to kick the ass of the guy who rules the Milky Way," Nana remarked. "Are you changing your mind on that you perverted beast?"

"Naruto Uzumaki never goes back on his word." Naruto smirked.

"That's my future husband," Momo smiled.

"Our future husband," Nana corrected.

"But I'm the first bride," Lala stated.

"Of course Onee-sama," Momo nodded.

"I may not be the person you had your first date with but…" Lala started.

"What do you mean?" Naruto blinked. "I haven't had a date yet."

"You haven't?" Lala's eyes widened with realisation. _'Poor Yui-chan. Naruto doesn't see her like that so he didn't realise it was a date! I feel sorry for her.' _

"No," Naruto smiled. "Although I am free this Sunday, you know if you wanted to… maybe do something?"

"Hai!" Lala beamed.

Momo smiled as she saw Lala and Naruto together. _'Onee-sama deserves this happiness. I'll get my share later. Everything is falling into to place.'_

Suddenly the front door exploded open and Gi-chan the giant bore entered, Soma in his mouth.

"Now I remember where I saw you!" Naruto pointed at Soma. "You were the guy who was eaten by that boar when my mother was chasing me around school!"

"All of my hate," Soma groaned as Gi-chan swallowed him again.

"…Do I want to know how he escaped last time?" Naruto wondered aloud.

"Probably not," Nana shook her head.

"**Well isn't this cosy?" **Kushina growled as she entered through the ruined front door. "**After I spent hours searching the old school trying to find my precious Naru-chan and have a little night time fun, he was here getting comfortable with the Succubi triplets." **

"… Mom," Naruto got to his feet, Lala clinging to him like a lifeline.

"**Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you into my bedroom and make sure that the only feminine scent on your body is mine!" **Kushina growled.

"That is kind of an indirect way of saying you want to have sex with me," Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You are usually less subtle than that."

"That was subtle?" Momo asked.

"For Kushina yes," Naruto nodded.

"**Hehehehe.,," **Kushina giggled.

"I think I broke her," Naruto took a step back.

"**Oh you can break me anyway you want Naru-chan! Any hole you want, any position you want! You called me Kushina not mother! You have finally cast aside the delusions of society where two people cannot make hot sweaty sex because a piece of paper says one is the others legal guardian! TAKE ME NARUTO!" **

In a blast of pink energy, Kushina became the legendary sex fiend and her clothes scattered as her lust energy ripped them from her body. Naruto looked away and tried to fight his body's natural reaction to see an attractive naked woman. Lala rubbing herself against him really wasn't helping.

"Quick!" Momo handed Naruto a pill. "You have to take this! It's the only way to counter her Super sex fiend powers!"

"Right!" Naruto took the pill. "Wait wouldn't it have made more sense for a pill to be given to… Oh no."

"That was extra strength Devilukian Viagra!" Momo grinned. "And the only weakness of the legendary sex fiend…" She pulled down his trousers and looked away. "IS EXCALIBUR!"

Kushina blinked stupidly before cartwheeling over backwards from the force of her nose bleed.

Nana wasn't fast enough to look away and simply fainted at the sight.

"I'm going to need a few moments," Naruto grumbled as he headed to his room and got into the new showers Momo and Nana had recently installed. He needed a long cold shower.

* * *

><p>Gid looked at the reports he had received regarding the Sunese People.<p>

"So," Gid smirked, "It appears that Naruto has gotten himself some political power in this victory."

"Muu…" A voice sounded from a comms crystal next to his throne. It was feminine and sounded quite childish. "You say that as if you doubted my plan."

"Of course not," Gid cleared his throat. "And are you still maintaining a low profile?"

"Of course," The voice somehow sounded even more childish. "Only Naru-kun has met me."

"And you've wiped his memories every time?"

"I did :)."

Gid paused. He never understood how the speaker actually managed to speak in such a way that you heard the emoticons at the end of the sentence. "Good. His power?"

"It looks like you were right!" There was the sound of clapping, "His aura is special. My when Momo and Nana hugged him its power shot up :P!"

"As would be expected if we are right in our assumptions." Gid got out of his throne, followed by the crystal and gazed out of his throne room. "Do we have enough time?"

"Of course XD." The crystal nodded. "The remnants of the Darkness project should buy us some time."

"Good," Gid sighed. "And the girls?"

"Happier than I've ever seen them. Nice to see all the effort I put into making him into what he is today is paying off !"

"Good," Gid smiled softly. "Have you decided on the second assassin yet?"

"Hai !" The crystal bounced around. "I was thinking maybe Doggy-kun."

"I see," Gid nodded. "Well I will make the necessary arrangements."

"Thank you Chibi-kun !" The crystal stopped glowing.

"Let's see just what you are made of Naruto." Gid grinned.

* * *

><p>Naruto sighed as he stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom wearing only a towel.<p>

"Happy birthday!"

Naruto blinked as he took in the scene before him.

Lala was beaming at him, wearing only a bright pink ribbon in her hair. Naruto found himself stunned by her naked figure. Next to her stood Kushina, with the ribbon that she had worn on the night Nana and Momo had first met him. If she so much as sneezed she would break that ribbon and be completely naked.

Momo was wearing a black ribbon, which much like Kushina hid everything yet at the same time suggested that little effort would be required to remove said ribbon. She was hugging chest to chest with Nana who really looked like she didn't want to be there. Her blush had almost taken over her entire body which made her skin contrast nicely from the white ribbon she was wearing.

"Aren't you going to unwrap your presents?" Momo asked.

Naruto licked his lips and walked towards them as if in a trance when a sound from the window snapped him out of it.

"Best birthday present ever." A voice chuckled from outside his window. "And you said you didn't have a harem!"

"Ero-Jiji!" Naruto dived out of the window after the pervert. "Stop spying on my girls!"

"Did… did we just get cock blocked?" Kushina blinked.

"After I put this stupid ribbon on," Nana growled.

"…How much does Naruto love his grandfather?" Momo's eyes narrowed.

"Did Naruto call us his girls?" Lala asked.

The four girls paused and looked at each other before cheering. The newly formed Harem Lord's Lovers League had achieved a major victory. But this was just a skirmish. The war would be long and hard fought.

"I knew even his will power couldn't withstand an onslaught of this power!" Momo grinned. "But maybe a little extra firepower couldn't hurt."

"What do you mean?" Nana asked.

"There are other girls who like Naruto," Momo pointed out. "And we all know that Naruto won't want any of them to be hurt. If we get all of them to join us then we don't have to worry about Naruto stalling our relationships to stop someone else getting hurt!"

"You want to whore out Naru-chan?" Kushina asked. "I'm not happy about sharing him with you three never mind anymore."

"And how much success were you having before you joined forces with us?" Momo asked innocently.

"Gargh," Kushina flinched.

"I thought so." Momo smiled.

"I don't mind," Lala smiled. "So long as I am his first bride."

"If Ane-ue doesn't mind then I don't," Nana blushed and looked away.

"Tch," Kushina growled. "I guess I have no choice. Sharing Naru-chan is better than having no Naru-chan."

"I thought you'd see things my way." Momo beamed.

"It's a little cold now that Naruto has broken the window." Nana scowled.

"Let's wait for him under the covers," Kushina suggested.

"Ah a surprise ambush. As expected of my vice commander!" Momo nodded.

When Naruto returned from trying to kill his grandfather he would be in for one hell of a surprise.

* * *

><p>The Politics of the Harem Lord's Lovers League<p>

Empress: Lala Satalin Deviluke

High Commander: Momo Belia Deviluke [Uncage the Lust Party]

Vice Commander: Kushina Uzumaki [Uncage the Lust Party]

Leader of the Opposition: Nana Astar Deviluke [Responsible Lover Party]

Naruto's new Powers

If you ever watched Tenchi Muyo then Naruto's powers are essentially Ryoko's basic laser powers. Only rather than red lasers Naruto has blue ones.


End file.
